Eurovision: The Results

[RedToothBrush]

You've Survived Flat Madge.

Well Done.

Here are the finalists

1. Malta - Maltese Molly And Her Pet Chameleon and Support Socks
2. Albania - Rylan’s Nashers Channel Khalessi Yodelling
3. Czech Republic - The Wiggles EuroFwend
4. Germany - Meghan Markle and LeAnn Rimes
5. Russia - Vanity Shower Screens
6. Denmark - Ladders and Clouds
7. San Marino - Right Said Fred Goes to Benidorm
8. North Macedonia - Mel Off Eastenders
9. Sweden - Gospel Lionel Richie

10. Slovenia - Dull and In Love. Apparently. Snore. Slow-venia. Creepy 11. Cyprus - Chandelier pants and PVC 12. Netherlands - A Nice Moody Ballad from Duncan the Dutchman 13. Greece - Nasally Don't Tell The Bride. 14. Israel - Is it Ross or Howard? What Freddie Mercury would have looked like had Borat played him. Is it David Blaine? 15. Norway - Ken The Spirited Club Style Yoiker. Come on Barbie! 16. United Kingdom - The John Lewis Christmas Ad 2019 17. Iceland - Do I Really Need to Remind You?!! Mad Max the Musical. 18. Estonia - Mr Wholesome with the Disappearing Guitar 19. Belarus - Britney Belarus 20. Azerbaijan - Shut Up! Lazzzzeerrrssss 21. France - Wigman. Gaga's Little Bro. 22. Italy - It wasn't me. Shaggy 2.0 23. Serbia - Wicked Ice Queen Angelina Jolie's Stunt Leg 24. Switzerland - Red Dirty Dancers and Rylan’s Outfit 25. Australia - Glenda The Good Witch on a Bouncy Stick. 26. Spain - Mel C and Bryan Adams Changing Rooms on IKEA Kallax Shelves

Mind you, the politics were always going to be against us this year.

But it was still a weak song, performed badly and without real feeling.

I agree. But even a solid entry from the UK would’ve struggled to make it into the left hand side of the board this year. We could’ve sent e.g. Czech Republic’s entry or Denmark’s entry or Slovenia’s entry and still not have placed in the top 20.

You have no way of proving that.

Meanwhile, Germany sends poor songs and is amply rewarded (several nul points, and 6 or 7 last place finishes) but nobody cries politics.

Portugal plugged away for decades with bad results, and Norway were so famous for their unappealing entries that an episode of Father Ted made perfect sense.

Ireland has only made it out of the semi finals once in teh last decade iirc...

How are the UK results the only ones related to politics?

There has only been one UK entry in the last decade that was remotely solid, and that was Lucie Whatsherface. She did ok iirc.

The British song was okay but it was a strong field this year, I thought.

I agree that Norway should have won but like the Netherlands entry too.

Madonna - hmmm. She looks great for her age but did anyone else notice the flatness of her boots - that was telling to me. She was clearly scared of falling over navigating those stairs.

I agree. The staging was terrible at the beginning for the UK entry. He was just some bloke dressed in black jeans and a leather jacket against a black background. I quite like the song, but I've heard it several times. The first time I heard it, I didn't like it. It was sung by someone else, who I cant remember who was much more fun.
Surely someone else could take over our payments so it could still run I cant remember who else pays- I think its Italy, France and us, but there are 2 more I cant remember. I didn't think Germany did.

UK entries are incredibly faux from an emotional pov as well as musically mediocre, with the odd inclusion of twee and downright painful.*
Plus the staging was so boring compared to almost everyone else - which is fine if you want to highlight a musically brilliant song but this wasn't

I'm sure Eurovision would continue even without the UK - I've seen a few posters suggest it would all collapse without us sounds a bit like a Brexiteer argument. Italy didn't participate for years btw and only came back in 2011. Maybe we should take a break?

@mathanxiety Lucie Jones came 15th in 2017 with a ‘solid’ song - she got 99 from the juries and only 12 from the tele votes.

I think Germany has a similar issue actually. The politics of Eurovision are - generally speaking - against them too.

madonna had bandage on her one eye so couldnt balance herself very easily and preferred the flat shoes i think.
she looked very good.
i liked Norway entry best and Estonia and Belarus girl was good, too.
Slovenia, Cyprus, Greece, San Marino awful, sorry. UK entry was very poor.

Because MN is a high percentage UK mathanxiety, which will mean the thread is UK-centric. But the political voting of other countries has been mentioned (including towards Germany).

Italy and Sweden were not so strong how they got those votes i dont understand.
Azerbaijan was good, too.

I can't remember Lucie Jones never mind her song.

A can remember a lot of Eurovision entries from the last 3 or 4 years.

But Im drawing a mental blank for that.

SuRie is the only one (bar the horror of Scooch) that I can actively remember. I liked that. Then stage invaders...

I just woke up.

The UK are not as hated abroad as the uk thinks. And some of the bloc voting isn’t off really - it might be artists that are quite popular in several countries for example. Or they’ve worked hard to promote the song so it’s stuck in people’s heads.

The Swedish model for Eurovision qualifications is that songwriters send in songs and about 30 are then picked as good enough. IMO about 5 of them are . Then the tv people I think fish around for artists because they want a mix of new ones and established names. If the songwriter doesn’t have an artist then they’ll start badgering famous people. After all that we —endure— have several semifinals to pick out a lineup for a grand finale. The show tours the country with the semis, so there’s a bit of competition there too to see if your town can land a semi.

My point is that it isn’t as embarrassing anymore for established artists to compete, and the songs can be played on the radio and grind us into submission from February at the earliest.

I think a similar format could do really well in the UK, you have a similar mentality to us.

I think Sweden did poorly in the people’s vote because there are a lot of countries were people will not vote for a black man singing with black women. Afro-Dite did poorly too (by Swedish standards) coming in eight place back in the day and they had a popping song.

The UK's entry was a dirge. That's why it got hardly anything, nothing to do with Brexit. Russia is a deeply unpopular country but still manages to do well. They always send a good song, this isn't rocket science. As long as the UK keep sending drivel we will be at the bottom of the scoreboard.

My personal theory is that the BBC doesn't want to have host the show so sends crap on purpose. Much like in that infamous Father Ted episode! This will continue until such a time that they decide they actually want to win again, or they hand it over to ITV who would apparently love to have it and have the budget to host the event.

Oh be it was Jade Ewan who was the last Uk entry to do well. Her song was written by Andrew Lloyd Webber who appeared on stage with her. She came 9th I think. Go figure....

i dont like Andrew Lloyd Webber, his music.

The only country to give the UK any points at all in the televote this year was Ireland. We got nil points from everyone else!

Didn't know it was Co written by the Sweden bloke. It was just very meh.

Still love how despite trying to stop bloc voting it still happens. Greece for Cyprus, Cyprus for Greece etc still obvious even with with jury's. Plus weren't the jury vote brought in to stop it happening so much? Not really working as well

Still apart from the never ending interval and Madonna randomly being there and being bad. Fun show

Andrew Lloyd Webber is so overrated, I agree. Unpopular opinion!

Surely it is also to do with how many people live outside their own country and so can vote? Germany has relatively few but Romania and Ukraine have a lot. Mind you I would have expected the Netherlands to score highly due to that!

I'm British living in Italy but we voted for Sweden this year as we liked it! Last year we voted for Surie (sp?) which I think was actually a great song and performance.

Has the UK song been out for a while? I think that also makes a difference. The Italian song came out in Feb for San Remo (Italian competition the winner of which goes to Eurovision) . I didn't like it at first but after hearing it all over the place for months it grew in me! Songs which only come out just before Eurovision are at a disadvantage.

I remember afterwards Andrew Lloyd Webber was interviewed and said someone quite high up at Eurovision on the night said something racist about Jade, and that the attitude was ingrained amongst a lot of the other countries. Shocking really. Maybe it should go to itv and we wouldn’t have to endure the fillers during the ad breaks. It would probably be presented by Ant and Dec though,

I think it needs to be stressed that you only get points if you are in the top 11 for the jury or the televotes.

So after you get outside the top half the order starts to get really random in placing.

I don't think we can argue too must unless your personal top 11 features the UK.

I'd put
North Macedonia
Norway
France
Sweden
Australia
Netherlands
Iceland
Azerbaijan
Italy
Russia
San Mario

Down before I thought of the UK's entry.

How many of you would put the UK in your top 11?

I generally will have a 'Eurovision' afternoon before the event where I play Eurovision songs on YouTube past and present. I havent put Michael Rice on once.

I'm just not arsed with it. (played SuRie a lot last year)

Why should I be upset if others don't vote for what I wouldn't vote for?

It was better in the old days when there was no public votes, only a jury. You weren't allowed to play the song on TV/radio beforehand and the jury didn"t see the performance.

Yes, racism is a problem. Particuarly in Eastern Europe and the Balkans. You only have to look at what happens when black footballers play over there. It's like stepping back in time about 40 years.

The Iceland lot will be fine after pulling out the Palestine banners @polkadots

Twitter might think it's incredibly edgy and daring but there's no way the security there didn't know they had them, and thus also an idea of what they planned to do especially after their comments leading up. The producers could easily have not panned to their reaction to avoid it as well but didn't.