Eurovision: The Results

[RedToothBrush]

You've Survived Flat Madge.

Well Done.

Here are the finalists

1. Malta - Maltese Molly And Her Pet Chameleon and Support Socks
2. Albania - Rylan’s Nashers Channel Khalessi Yodelling
3. Czech Republic - The Wiggles EuroFwend
4. Germany - Meghan Markle and LeAnn Rimes
5. Russia - Vanity Shower Screens
6. Denmark - Ladders and Clouds
7. San Marino - Right Said Fred Goes to Benidorm
8. North Macedonia - Mel Off Eastenders
9. Sweden - Gospel Lionel Richie

10. Slovenia - Dull and In Love. Apparently. Snore. Slow-venia. Creepy 11. Cyprus - Chandelier pants and PVC 12. Netherlands - A Nice Moody Ballad from Duncan the Dutchman 13. Greece - Nasally Don't Tell The Bride. 14. Israel - Is it Ross or Howard? What Freddie Mercury would have looked like had Borat played him. Is it David Blaine? 15. Norway - Ken The Spirited Club Style Yoiker. Come on Barbie! 16. United Kingdom - The John Lewis Christmas Ad 2019 17. Iceland - Do I Really Need to Remind You?!! Mad Max the Musical. 18. Estonia - Mr Wholesome with the Disappearing Guitar 19. Belarus - Britney Belarus 20. Azerbaijan - Shut Up! Lazzzzeerrrssss 21. France - Wigman. Gaga's Little Bro. 22. Italy - It wasn't me. Shaggy 2.0 23. Serbia - Wicked Ice Queen Angelina Jolie's Stunt Leg 24. Switzerland - Red Dirty Dancers and Rylan’s Outfit 25. Australia - Glenda The Good Witch on a Bouncy Stick. 26. Spain - Mel C and Bryan Adams Changing Rooms on IKEA Kallax Shelves

The UK entry wasn't slightly bonkers eurovision so loses points there instantly. Plus he was very off in his singing at the bringing, more points lost there. He also wasn't popular prior to last night.

Add all that to the fact the UK traditionally isn't voted for because of neighbourly voting and general lack of being one of the popular ones.

Russian singer knew how to perform so that overrides the not being liked to some extent.

Mind you even bonkers doesn't always help. Remember Ireland's Dustin the Turkey entrance? (Can't say I have ever liked him. Glad he didn't win.)

Surely it is also to do with how many people live outside their own country and so can vote? Germany has relatively few but Romania and Ukraine have a lot. Mind you I would have expected the Netherlands to score highly due to that!

This is a factor BUT the stand out songs seem to do well every year regardless of that and regardless of the politics. And the top 13 look a LOT like what I'd rate as top half songs.

I think the regional voting perhaps has a bigger effect on the second half of the table which explains why we are more likely to be 20th place or lower rather than 14th to 19th.

But tbh, it doesn't matter if you are 14th or 26th. Your song is shit. The only difference is the level if hurt pride perhaps...

The solution is to enter a decent song, rather than wallow in national self pity and throw a childish 'it's not fair' tantrum about it.

It's most ungracious!

ITV would introduce a proper contest to chose the song and artists, not the half arsed attempt that the Beeb do. I don't understand why they don't have an X Factor/Voice style competition starting in January? It's not like they have anything else on at that time of year. Strictly has finished by then, and they no long have The Voice.

Weren’t there three uk songs, each one sang by two singers before Michael was chosen
Or did I make that up

You need to send Chris Martin next year, get Elton John to dress him and some dancers off Britain's got talent to perform around him. His song will need a message too.

Sorted.

Has the UK song been out for a while? I think that also makes a difference. The Italian song came out in Feb for San Remo (Italian competition the winner of which goes to Eurovision) . I didn't like it at first but after hearing it all over the place for months it grew in me! Songs which only come out just before Eurovision are at a disadvantage.

IIRC, the UK was one of the first countries to announce its Eurovision entry (I don’t think anyone played it though). Whilst Netherlands was amongst the last (together with the likes of Russia and Malta).

I’m not at all upset with people not voting for the UK’s entry this year. I wouldn’t have voted for it.

I don't understand why they don't have an X Factor/Voice style competition starting in January? It's not like they have anything else on at that time of year.

Erm it has All Together Now with Geri...

... You know the show they got Michael Rice off...

Yes I liked Surie last year ...thought it should e done well
Now she had the eurogloss that Michael sadly was lacking

Tbf, our entry was awful.

Michael came off that Geri show?

Oh dear.

You need to send Chris Martin next year, get Elton John to dress him and some dancers off Britain's got talent to perform around him. His song will need a message too.

No.

George Ezra.

We need George Ezra.

Save us George.

Just rewatched series performance, the song and her professionalism was so much stronger.

Surie

I really liked surie last year especially how she carried on after so surprised she didn't do better with the public. Whereas the jury votes are done during the dress rehearsal so the incident would have no impact on their view.
Still quite a upbeat song though! Maybe we should just go more bonkers

Whisky2014
Ours is xfactory not eurovisiony

Xfactory
Great name for that faltering show.
Eurovision is so much better than that.

I loved it, cheese 'an all and so much better with Red's excellent commentary

Am I being Unreasonable MNetters song is a brilliant idea.
Now THAT sounds Eurovisiony.

I didn't like last years UK entry. It sounded like a nursery rhyme.

I think the song needs to be be popular before the contest nowadays to win. Even a great song won't win if it hasn't had the chance to get into people's heads. Back in the day before streaming, you tube etc I'm sure the songs weren't heard at all before the contest.

Pretty please can someone tell me who won? And what time it finished. I had to stop watching.

Oddly BBC news aren't shouting about it as they usually do.

Thanks.

Netherlands won

The only country to give the UK any points at all in the televote this year was Ireland. We got nil points from everyone else!

Irish granny. It was being plugged a little here.

That was me!

I didn't even know his gran was Irish

Bungle Netherlands and some time around midnight

Athlone I think.

Bingle even

A MN entry???

Maybe we should go really full on Eurovision formula and embarrass ourselves.

Start off with a police siren.
Then some marching band drums like outside Buckingham Palace.
Then bagpipes. There has to be bagpipes.
Maybe skip the violin.
But definitely a europop beat.
Then launch into a Gareth Malone contemporary choir thing rather than shit pop which we keep doing badly.
Dressed up as erm... God. I dunno. We need a costume. I KNOW. We have to be able to make a dance routine out of bowler hats and umbrellas.
And a staging gimmick. The best ones are things like hamster wheels, treadmills and things with movement.
How about a Boris Bike?
With a London Bus Backdrop.

So how about it?
Who's calling Gareth...?