Have we hit THE WALL yet? It's SLEB MASTERCHEF Part 3

[Halsall]

Shiny new thread

Not the best of the Hitchhiker series, I thought

It wasn’t, @Schaden. Hard to beat the radio version that started the whole thing off.

I seem to have missed a lot whilst I was daydreaming. Do those antiques people actually know anything about food?

This is what puts me off faine daining - the amount of fondling of the food that goes on. I don't want my turnips caressed and my peas intimately fingered before I get the chance to eat them, ta very much

I want to punch these blonde men on the nose.

Bloody hell Schaden you're leaving it a bit late, mine are on a low heat since the beginning of the month

I'm so glad I never had the opportunity to become an antiques expert . . . I would have bored myself to death.

(Did that GROWN WUMMAN really say "Yum"?)

@Halsall I do so agree. I feel a bit dirty having listened to all that.

I prefer the "holocaust in a pan" school of sprout cookery Ellen - fast rolling boil for three months. That's the ticket!

I always think they have a spare anyway Zoe so don't worry about it

Grown Wumman is vair posh

I think the pastry looks undercooked on the bottom but I want Zoe to win so I don't care

He is such a twat.

Why can't the grocer just speak normally?

Lady chef clearly thinks spenny is a twat

Spencer's done this before - perhaps when he's faking his orgasms?

Dessert looks like an explosion in a cake shop

Pupils like manhole covers

Did chef just tell Spencer to "whack it out" and "use the back of your hand to warm it" ??

I don't like the look of this pudding.

Too many bits, and not enough custard.

Oh God Spencer - just don't embarrass yourself any further.

Just sit down!

Schaden

I love reading the competitive Christmas cooking threads, they're great

"I'm cooking for fifty in my one bed flat am I mad" type of thing

kazza

Stoppit!

Jesus - they are so pretentious

You never see john and mr broach in the same shot

Spencer should go. He didn't even have to properly cook anything* and HE GOT IT WRONG!

*cake doesn't count

Nope can happily say I didn't like one of those diners, would crack up laughing if one of them was on this show next year

What the fuck is Spencer wearing...?