Have we hit THE WALL yet? It's SLEB MASTERCHEF Part 3

[Halsall]

Shiny new thread

Have a good weekend, fellow GreggHaters x

Exile et al - if I can help at all with the FO Gregg cookbook - I will - will certainly buy it. Had to go out briefly but Ds took over my place and shouted FO Gregg

(Watching on catch up so late )

I m not entirely convinced Gregg hasn't had a custard tart since he was in short trousers. But - I am prepared to be wrong. He always looks like he will take anything not eaten back to his dressing room.

I did once complain to the BBC about Greg and his rather patronising attitude towards some female contestants. I may cut out the middle man now and just get in touch with Elon Musk / Richard Branson / Berners - Lee and just see how we can fire Greg into space.

Oh rubbish - never mind, Martin

All best everyone - I am sure with any luck Greg will get a job as a Sontarian and we might get someone who actually adds to the programme next series.

Looking forward to Christmas Cookbook.

Im very late to this. Only really watched the last two seasons. Why do you all hate Greg?

Why do you all hate Greg?

Mmmmm. You really are very late to this aren't you Each?

The reasons are legion - but among them are that he is patronising, ignorant, greedy, talks with his mouth full, eats with his mouth open, pervs over the younger lady contestants, tries to act as though he knows what he's talking about regarding the finer points of haute cuisine, when he has obviously never eaten anything more haute than a bag of Pickled Onion Monster Munch before he managed to get a job on the telly, wears a stupid cap, wears stupid waistcoats, wears stupid shirts*, has excessively shiny cheeks (probably slathered with melted butter from sticking his snout straight into the trough), keeps giving contestants "useful" advice (even the professionals - this is rather amusing though, as you can see the contempt in their eyes) . . .

. . . that will do for now.

*And so obviously thinks he looks rakish and suave

Come on schaden get off the fence and tell us how you really feel

Seriously, I think that wonderful rant needs nothing adding, except perhaps he is such a twat in RL too. And holds his lapels in a really annoying Dick van Dyke style.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/lostinshowbiz/2016/sep/01/gregg-wallace-falls-out-of-the-spotlight-and-into-the-deep-fat-fryer

Nowhere near as good as Schaden's rant but a little insight...

I went out last night, hoping to be in time for the final. Unfortunately, I got absolutely twatted so I will watch this morning nursing my hangover.
I know the winner by reading this but the rest sounds interesting. I am probably still drunk because I still love to hate Gregg and it wouldn’t be the same without him.
Anyway, have a good weekend all Master Cheffers. I really enjoy this thread.

And holds his lapels in a really annoying Dick van Dyke style

The twat!

I can see him doing this in my mind's eye, and now I need to bleach my mind's eyeballs.

Thank you for that link Exile

It will save many young women a lot of grief if they read the article.

For those with little time, the essential advice can be condensed into this single sentence:

"FFS - DON'T E-MAIL GREGGGGGGGG WITH A FOOD_RELATED QUESTION!!!!!

HE WILL HAVE MARRIED YOU BEFORE YOU PRESS THE 'SEND' BUTTON"

To minimise the risk of ending up in his bed, you can actually request a charity re-tweet and spell his name wrong. He will be so disgusted with you, he won't even consider your existence on the planet.

No need to thank me for the summary - I consider it my public duty.

Schaden - you are public spirited and salute you

'Tis nought.

Anyone would do the same.

But he does support his team

www.google.com/search?q=gregg+wallace&client=safari&rls=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjsq46u4ODdAhWkAMAKHY7MD5gQ_AUIDigB&biw=1679&bih=1019#imgdii=iPpeqH_VxrFuNM:&imgrc=eG38ZOQTNpFXiM:

Thanks to another poster who first found this.

OMG i feel sick now. Mind you, ive just eaten a tin of rice pudding,

I feel sick and I haven't just eaten a tin of rice pudding!

I just can't get rid of holding lapels like Dick Van Dyke out of my mind

Where should we launch the rocket from ?

Seriously - Greg has a good gig here hasn't he and the BBC aren't minded to change anything. In fact me posting probably makes them think that he is "entertaining" whereas IMHO he just makes the programme worse. But , there you go.

Loving your work Schadenfreude

Oh Jesus Basilisk!

That's AWFUL!!!!!

I've only just had my breakfast FFS!

My eyes! My eyes! Nooooooo!

Mind you, that was 2016. How many more times has he got married since then? It's a worry.

I just think there must be a great many people out there who love Greg Wallace. Or the BBC don't care. Seriously, he spoils the programme for me - but then who am I ?

What do you reckon the velocity would have to be to send Greg into space? It would almost be worth doing a physics degree to work it out. ( & I am not good at maths / physics)

I apologise to those whose breakfast / pudding I have spoilt.

I always wonder if the contestants secretly think to themselves ‘get lost you plonker’ when he judges them and just wait for the proper Chef (John) to have his say. He’s been worse than ever this series with his ‘cor blimey this is lovely grub’ comments.

maddie Yes - "five minutes" and " this is a lovely plate of food* ( I exaggerate for effect) but I reckon even I could do that. I just think that either he does actually have lots of fans or inertia means the BBC won't change it if it doesn't (apparently) need fixing.

Oh dear god

There should be a law against posting things like that.

even I could do that.

You would be ACE at it Basilisk - and I bet you wouldn't over-fill your mouth or wear a stupid cap, either.

One last picture to tide us over till the Professionals starts. . . Here he is before and after. .