This thread, and this issue is very interesting.
On the one hand you have a word which historically is so bad it really shouldnt be used by anyone. On the other hand the same word is used by SOME people but not others, and it is those who uses it who decides who can acceptably use it? And I am sure that is why many others are confused, and uses it through ignorance.
Surely, if the word is in use, can you really blame somebody else for using it? And if you personally dont use this word, but you know many others do, should you be angry with the person who did? Who are you to decide who can or cannot use the word? My point is, if you use a word, you have no right to actually dictate that others cant. You cannot expect anybody to NOT use a word that is so frequently in use anyway. Is that also discrimination? The reason why we have people using the N word is that it is actually in use, by the same people who take offence to its use! Having said this, I think only truly misguided and silly people will fail to understand they should not use it, even if it is used by others.
Now, I am white, I will not profess to have many black friends, I dont (I have known one or two, and i have had some interesting discussion with one who said that he indiscriminately hated all white people and rather see me dead because of the slave trade, so I understand this is a very serious and deep rooted issue) but I am against any form of racism or racist remark made against anybody.
In my opinion it is totally without class, without dignity to ever lower oneself to use remarks such as "n...r", "b..ch", "c..t", "p..i" as they are derogatory. It surprises me when a person such as Emily, who is upper middle class, uses such a word, it is totally ignorant, totally unacceptable, people of any class should refrain from taking such words in their mouths, it is foul. Most people I have come across from upper middle class and above have been most educated, but more importantly well brought up, and knows not to EVER make a point about their own standing, their own class, and the "branding of other".
Sorry for rambling. This thread has kept me captivated for more than an hour, and my kids are playing with 50 odd birthday balloons from yesterday. And now that I have added my pennys worth, I will go away, because I am sure there will be somebody who will find a way of being disgusted with what I say, and totally misinterpret.