Married to a paedophile

[WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream]

Anyone watching?

A girl from my old school who is on my FAcebook, her father was a teacher in a school and abused boys, it was a high profile case, before sentencing, he took his life. She used to put status up about how wonderful her dad is, how she misses him so much. Why did the victims wait this long before coming forward. It was the same time as the Jimmy Saville cases all came to light. She just saw her loving dad, and him as a father. She has very serious mental health issues, as a result.

darkriver i can't even imagine that. But i can understand your comment about more damage being done because of your mother sticking with him. That is the ultimate smack in the face.

That's what i will never understand about anybody who sticks by a paedophile. Like the older woman on the programme last night they seem to minimise what actually happened with the most absurd excuses - such as mental ill health or 'he didn't actually touch anybody'. MH is not an excuse; i have MH issues & i can categorically tell you now that if i ever thought of a child in that way i'd shoot myself in the head.
As for the whole 'it was just pictures' if there weren't people leering at this shit online there would be much less of a demand for it.

I didn't like the show. I didn't think they should be giving pedophiles a platform to excuse their behavior. Saying things like, I'm not a pedophile I'm a sex addict, and I just downloaded them but didn't look at them.

There are nieve people out their that will believe that tripe and it will garner sympathy.

The show should have done more to explain that you don't stumble across these images, you need access to the dark web and that sexual attraction to children is not proven to be linked to mental health problems.

The minimising and down playing by these men and their enablers is sickening. And then the whining that they have to live in flats on their own/in caravans/their lives go down the pan. Good! What about those poor victims?

I think the women on this thread and in the program who immediately bail on the relationship despite financial and societal cost to themselves are heros tbh.

I thought that was a really tough scene where the mum and daughter were in the cafe and the daughter was trying to understand her dad - you could tell it was making her ill to do so. Of course the mum should have said, "You know, though, that he was having an orgasm when he was looking at images of small children being abused - that is not what depressed people do" but ramming that message home to your own child is so difficult. When the guy said he hadn't enjoyed family life because he was too tired from watching children being abused (he said he was watching porn, as though the children were able to be complicit) - that made you realise the depth of his depravity.

His on-screen ex-wife was the actress in Little Boy Blue.

HollowTalk very true, all minimizing, minimizing, minimizing.

I can sort of see the daughter's reasoning - she's suffering from cognitive dissonance on a massive scale and she's trying desperately to make sense of what's happened. She's thinks that if she can blame her dad's depression, it means everything can go back to normal, whilst at the same time she's trying desperately not to think about whether he had his eye on her and her sister and their friends. What a horrible situation for her to be in.

Did anyone else think the mum got into a relationship too quickly? I thought she could've done with the Freedom Programme.

HollowTalk I think daughter was definitely in denial.

I can't imagine how the wife could have trusted anyone so quickly.

I assume that the house was sold primarily because of the divorce and it would give the wife and husband equal shares, given their daughters were now adult. So all of his sitting in a caravan in a field days would end and he'd be back in a house. I think seeing him in a caravan (very, very unusual setup) was a bit of a play to our sympathies - "Look at this guy, he's lost everything, even his six-bedroomed house..." The reality would be that as soon as the divorce was started, the house would be sold and he'd get enough for another place.

as i see it you have to really look to find these types of images you dont just stumble across them

the intent to find them is very much there,plain and simple

no exscuse

HollowTalk

"I assume that the house was sold primarily because of the divorce and it would give the wife and husband equal shares, given their daughters were now adult. So all of his sitting in a caravan in a field days would end and he'd be back in a house"

As I said before it had the feel of a kind of 'don't do it, it's bad for you' public awareness film!

They are definitely actors. Quite a task to mime to someone else's voice and to act as well.

i thought that about the miming i really couldnt tell

The big question is....why such a massive increase in these crimes? What are we (or society) doing to our boys, and it is overwhelmingly men who are convicted. There are horrifically dark places on the web and statistics state that most boys have viewed hard core adult porn by the time they are 11.

At first I thought the film / documentary was a way of "do this and look at the consequences" neither man seemed very bothered about what he had done.

One said he had a good life. The other (at first) carried on life as normal. I don't really understand what it was supposed to achieve.

Did anyone notice the labels on the photo album "ballet" and "brownies" so horrific 😞😞

Spot on @HollowTalk.

I contemplated name changing for this, but stuff it I can do it later.

15 years ago I logged on to our PC and thought my husband had been shopping for my Christmas pressie, searching through the browsing history I discovered that he had been looking at abuse images of children. That instant our marriage was over, and I called the police and he was eventually prosecuted.

However, the whole living in a caravan scenario in the programme - so far from reality - my ex was entitled to half of everything as per normal divorce entitlement - he got free counselling as part of ‘rehabilitation’...I ended up paying for private counselling, and over the years has secured many lucrative IT roles in central Scotland (especially when disclosure checks where not de rigour)....so he was left in no way downtrodden (or sorry/ repentant I will add).

Yet, the programme also seem to miss that at the heart of every single one of these images is a child that has been horrendously abused, and the abuse is continued by every single person who goes looking for these images. It’s the trauma, depression and PTSD that the victims suffer that should be front and centre, and not that of the perpetraitors who make a conscious choice to go looking for these images in the first place.

Agree Rosie. I watched it last night. The older woman, the grandmother, mentioned that her husband said it was an old picture. Like that made it okay. It doesn’t matter when the picture was taken, it means the child has been abused.

And then she had to chose between her husband and her grandchild WTF?

Rosie1976mini that is so sad. I am so sorry. Even the fact that you had to pay for your own counselling while his was provided free.

Anyone who thinks of children in that way let alone views suck sickening images imo are peadophiles and I have no sympathy, no excuses no feelings towards them. I am a nanny and I am entrusted with other people’s children on a daily basis and I honestly feel sick thinking about it.

I’m sorry to the poster who’s Dad dl these images but you husband is right your father by viewing sckening imamges has allowed child abuse to happn has probably paid for it and enjoyed looking at scared children being abused.

No sympathy at all..

The daughter in the show was actually downplaying her father’s crimes I don’t know how her mother didn’t slap her tbh.

This is one of the grimmest things I've ever seen