Sleb Masterchef is BACK

[Halsall]

@ellenanora5 @squoosh @GrouchyKiwi @fourquenelles @schadenfreude OH GOSH DAMN @EVERYBODY whose name I can’t quite dredge up right now from the depths of my addled brain, gather ye hither for all the traditional food-based fun and frolics. Tonite. BBC1. 8pm. Be there

Going to fast forward a bit to try to catch up

Oh my gawd I’ve never seen anyone peel an apple that badly in my life

Oooh! It's cold.

They're hungry!

And there's only an hour to go!

Still "Happy Days", Pretty Boy?

You don't want gravy with a chicken and leek pie surely

Sad days, now I feel.

I want Chef to just storm off and say I’m’avin a faaaaag

What the fuck is keef making

I thought Chef was at the end of her last nerve.

She must want to tell them all to fuck off so that she can do the whole lot herself in the time she has left.

Slatted. Slotted Mrs O, Slotted

'Ow much in trouble are they?'

Have they ALL lost the power of speech?

And WTF is an 'Aunt Betty' pudding?

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggghhhhh SLATTED SPOON

Sweet Jaysus. He can't even peel an apple! I bet his mum has spoilt him all his little life. I hope his fiance can cook or they will both starve when the boy and comes to an end.

A slatted spoon. I want to kill her in the face.

Poor Kathy Burke.

They’ve shipped Jonty in!

Does twat features pretty boy know no other phrase than "happy days"?

No - you DON'T want gravy with chicken and leek pie.

ANd Chef is definitely - HE"S SAID IT AGAIN THE BASTARD! - getting panicked! Her eye is twitching!

Fantastic eye-roll there, Chef

I think Keef got confused with Aunt Bessies, perchance.

Exile

I can't see that lasagne being ready on time

Lovely, sweaty pastry, naiice

At last! The Jolly Green Giant is using sweetcorn

It's the Chef I feel sorry for. This lot can just swan off after the programme with their reputationsin tatters intact. That poor girl has to face the workers again and again and again . . .

DIY SOS queuing up for scran

I hope they are not making these poor fuckers pay for their lunch