@DonnyAndVladSittingInATree I wonder if, according to he programme, they wanted to adopt when they applied, I don't know 6 years ago. That's slightly longer ago than I applied. When I applied there were a lot more children in the system, a combination of factors I think. Prior to that the wait was quite long sometimes years for matching after approval.
What does still seem weird is that they wanted to adopt, were approved to foster Kiri and she came to live with them five years ago. Had they tried to adopt her before.
I think the boy's diffiuclt behaviour (I think he is meant to be on the Autistic Spectrum, but mild, disliked at school etc, bit quirky, no offense to anyone who has a child on the spectrum (I think mine is) but that is how he is coming across.
They had hoped another child would glue them back together, as many couples might try for another baby.
Maybe Kiri was very difficult, attachment issues, or maybe she was not, maybe she was very normal and very different to their son.
Either way, the glue failed and they feel their failed her, so rather just mourning her death there is all kinds of guilt attached to loss of Kiri. I think this is true for the birth family too. Everyone failed Kiri. It is actually very sad and I feel kind of ghoulish enjoying watching it.
Almost no-one seems to be acting how I would expect them to act, except maybe the Granddad - he's so flawed and foolish but he seems to be acting more as I might expect someone to act. Having said this I know a number of people who have lost children in real life, and they all acted very differently (to each other and to how I would expect them to act).