The X Factor 8pm, ITV1.

[MusicToMyEars800]

Can't wait I've got as we all know it's unbearable without it
Look forward to seeing you all later

uh huh

I had to hit mute

Thank God Simon cut him off (not quick enough though)

More time? Fifty years??

"Bring on the disinfectant for Miss Sherzy"

Simon seems to be far too nice this series! What's going on?

He looks like a pop star!

Is it time for the crazies

Too needy

Like he'll Simon recognises him!

Isn't it hotter than Satan's asshole there? Why is he wearing leather?

Like Simon would really recognise him after 10 years.

He doesn't even recognise himself.

Bollocks does Simon recognise him

Fatherhood must have mellowed Simon out.

It's like the refuge for the weak and the delusional on tonight's show

He sounds German to me, am I going deaf?

'What's steel works'?
Ffs
Talentless, thick as shit too

Shut up and sing

Wow, how orange was that girl he was talking to?!

"I'll be pulling pints for the rest of my life, and that can't happen"

Err, it can...

On no, we've got a warbler

Don't like him

I take it back. Stop mumbling and go away.

He's like a little Geordie Will Young.

Or something.

Not for me