Three Girls (BBC 9pm)

[ASauvingnonADay]

Looking forward to watching this tonight. Feel it might be one to watch with your teenagers..

Superflyhigh the point is a child can't be a prostitute as they can't consent so it must always be referred to as abuse. Yes money is exchanging hands but they can't consent.

Ineed I just explained re the terminology.

I was just a bit at how Amber got the girls involved even when she must have known it was wrong. I don't know, it's a mess all round. Girls from abusive homes, care backgrounds etc.

Ineed got that. Thanks for explaining properly.

Agree re the parents reactions. I'm hoping that this is explored a bit more too.

Amber was forced to be an enabler. If she didn't recruit girls she got beaten up. Or had to have sex with more men herself. They wanted her to get younger girls.

It was very harrowing to watch

When Hollie was first interviewed by the police I was amazed that there wasn't a female officer involved once she mentioned that she had been raped.

Horrifying that girls were treated like this and horrifying that it is still happening.

DS is 12, we made sure he was out of the room before we started watching this. But some of the girls involved were only about a year older than him.

Amber got the girls involved because she was frightened of what would happen to her if she didn't.
As for why they kept going back - I think Amber had nowhere else to go. At the end when she was crying it was really sad because she knew nobody was coming to help her or take her away from it all.

Amber is vulnerable. She gets money for recruiting the girls and the abusers threaten her if she doesn't deliver.

It was heartbreaking when she cried at the window as she watched Holly being hugged by her parents. You wonder where her parents were and why they didn't try to rescue her.

The terminology used by that social worker was shocking. I wanted to shake her.

Harrow

Holly was vulnerable because she's recently moved house, family stress about losing their house, new school, no friends, her Dad mentioned that she's shy and sensitive. She presumably didn't want to cause her parents and more stress but was unhappy at having to move away from previous friends etc. Older child syndrome. The other girls were under pressure to recruit new girls weren't they. We saw Tariq putting pressure on Amber when she said the other girl had moved away.

And why on earth would she suspect that these men older than her parents were giving her food etc with a view to her having sex with them?! I think this is the problem that as an adult you think wtf but these are children. Holly was not 'street wise' in a developed, adult sense if the phrase. She is alone and confused and desperate to fit in.

Her parents' response is confusion isn't it? Yes they would move heaven and earth but they don't understand what's happening and they are not having things explained to them except by Sara. Holly doesn't understand, she just knows that she's frightened and unhappy. But the social worker says she's a prostitute, so is that right? The policeman wanted to know about her sex life / asking her in front of her Dad. Mortifying. And the he didn't even do anything. He didn't keep her safe. How are any of them supposed to know what's right or who to trust? That's the disgrace of this story. The girls and their families were so let down by people and organisations that should have known better.

I think this brilliantly raised a lot of the misconceptions around adolescence and how some young people end up in situations where it's hard to remove themselves.
The biggest difference is acknowledging there's no such thing as child prostitution - it's sexual abuse, end of. This case made police, social services and health really think about how they deal with really difficult situations to protect young people.
Thought it was brilliantly acted, Hollie really drew me in to her character.
I think the not understanding how someone like Hollie with 2 parents, siblings, nice house, good school attendance could end up embroiled is so important. From what I could work out she had moved when her dad lost his business or something so things were hard for her at home

That'snotmytoddler that's a great post and Scotlass

I found it hard to watch, however my discomfort was nothing to the hell the girls endured.
The went back because they were terrified.
They were coerced into providing new victims.

At first i think Amber saw Tariq as a boyfriend. She seemed happy he came to the house and told 'daddy to fuck right off' she then wanted to please him. At first she even offered to go with a man instead of Hollie and gave her 'tips' all the not kissing/ feelimg tits etc. It then seemed to escalate from fun and boyfriends to rape and trafficking. The girl with learning difficulties was so so vulnerable

Harrowing. Still have a knotted stomach, but fantastic acting by all

Amber probably felt special and important, being the 'Head' girl and having a role so to speak.

In reality she had no choice and did as she was told.

Maxine Peake and the woman she portrayed were on Woman's Hour this morning. Worth a listen.

I totally get how the more vulnerable girls found themselves in that situation and why they stayed. They had nowhere or had no one to go back to to tell. It was so upsetting in the final scene When amber was crying as she watched holly leave with her parents and had love and hugs from them. She knew no one was coming for her.

I can see how she's become the leader of the girls. I guess that's how the men were so successful they played the girls against each other. She was made to force holly to go with them men, she would get threatened and beaten if she didn't. Perhaps the fact that they were being paid made it easier for the men to get away with it and make it seem like they were prostitutes and willing.

However, holly seems quite savvy. She says no several times, she tells the police, she tries to fight them. She answers the social worker who calls her a prostitute and argues that she isn't. I think she knows it's wrong, I don't think she thinks it usual. I don't think any of them do. I think she would question why the men were giving these girls food and drink. No, it probably didn't occur to her it was for sex but it's likely you would wonder why.

I also hope it goes more into the parents reactions and the reasons and how the girls were groomed originally.

Such a fucking awful situation and it happened again in Rotherham - please someone reassure me it's not still happening?
It is still happening up and down the country. It is filmed in Bristol where it is still a key priority. As a school CSE is really high priority and thankfully awareness is growing.

The other thing for the parents is that a lot of Holly's initial behaviour is 'typical teenage rebellion' when they already have a lot on their plates. She's moody, not helping around the house, staying out late, always with her friends etc. That causes conflict between her and them and of course they're like the rest of us - winging it and hoping they get it right enough of the time. By the time Holly is raped the first time it's too late for her to tell her parents - because how could explain what happened, why she was there? Her parents are pissed off with her as it is. And do then we see her finding her allies in Amber and the other girls. Because even though they coerce her and make her unhappy they also are the only people who understand what's going on. They are her friends, war buddies if you like.

Anyone saying she isn't vulnerable and that her parents should have done more needs to remember that we have 20:20 hindsight here. In the same way that people don't leave abusive relationships and their friends/family don't know what's going on - this is just the same.

And depressingly it is still happening. Had my safeguarding update in March and the grooming/child sex trafficking stats are horrifying.

I think its a very important drama - hard as it is to watch. Life isn't as black and white and clear cut and some of the questions here reflect why the girls weren't believed. Victims don't always come dressed as pure little virgins, they are complicated and confused - as damaged children thrown into horrible adult situations. 13 is so young! Getting drawn in to situations with the false security of the other girls being around and not knowing how to get out - no confidence to split and leave their friends, unsure where they are or how to get home.

I think Holly was not believed or treated right by the police, she felt like she was blamed for having had sex before and shamed in front of her father. Fearful, threatened, bullied and ashamed. She couldn't cope and ran away from safety, but from judgement too.

As a mother I also found the parents inability to keep her safe really hard to watch, but parents do battle and fail to protect their kids. Very disturbing and sad. But a brave drama and excellent acting.

In some ways you can see why the authorities acted like they did, even on this thread there is questioning of the girls. Does it matter about the whys, they were children and the men were pedophiles. The social worker calling them child prostitutes with no mention of the adult men involved at all. I still feel sick inside, if it was not based on true life it would feel that it was far fetched.

It is still happening in towns and cities all round the country. It seems the police are now doing a good job of bringing cases to court. For some reason, the national press are seeing fit not to report the court cases.

For example latest case in Oxford, not covered by the national press (unless I am mistaken).

www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/15247297.OPERATION_NAUTICAL__17_suspects_appear_in_court_accused_of_sex_offences/

I read the reports into this. It was clear that Social Services and the police dismissed the youth workers and did not see them as professionals. That still happens. Social Services listen to teachers, but dismiss youth workers.

The police just thought these girls were "slags". There was much worse happened than was shown.