13 Reasons Why - Netflix (Spoiler Alert!!!)

[Groovee]

Just wondered if anyone had started this. I did yesterday. It's slightly strange but yet makes me want to watch more.

On episode 4.... not in love with it. I deeply dislike the girl it's all about... am I supposed to care about her because she isn't very likable?

I am on episode 5, (OH has gone down the pub and DC is in bed so having a binge!)

In the undertones I think there is some great references to femisim , ("we are girls we just listen to the boys and shut up") also a great example of male privilege in today's society, but, I still haven't fallen in love with Hannah, noting really remarkable has happened.

But perhaps that's the point? She is anyone?

desperately looking for a reason I have spent all evening watching this

I got so caught up in this show that I binge watched it all Friday night through to Saturday morning
I really enjoyed it, at times Hannah pissed me off and was too much about the drama, other times I really felt for her. The same with Clay, sometimes he was so sweet and kind but others he was irritating and no better than anyone else so his self righteous act was annoying.
The same with all of the characters tbh, sometimes I sympathised with them and felt it was wrong for Hannah to put blame on them but other times they were complete arse holes who should face up to their involvement in her suicide and deal with the consequences.
That's what I liked about the show though, all of the characters are complex and 3 dimensional. None of them are completely just good nor are they just bad. Most of them didn't intend to cause hurt upon others, they just didn't think of how their actions affect other people because they are all at that very awkward, complicated stage in life which is a teenager.
I think considering the subject of the show they did a very good job overall.

Most of them didn't intend to cause hurt upon others, they just didn't think of how their actions affect other people because they are all at that very awkward, complicated stage in life which is a teenager.

To be honest, actually I think we should be expecting more of teenagers. No one who did anything shitty in that show was held to ransom by their impulses, they were all more than capable of choosing not to be shitty. They're all 16-18, no? I wonder how much we hinder the development of empathy in children and teenagers by seeing it primarily as an 'adult skill'? Not considering others' feelings is learned behaviour. Maybe, as a millennial teenager of whom nothing much has been asked yet, you see others not bothering and you don't see much reason to be better than them, because you're a teenager and yeah, it takes some effort. It doesn't mean that we can't raise the bar. They would respond to higher standards of behaviour if these were expected of them. I don't think it's a teenage thing, it's more a certain culture that exists in schools, which people aren't bothered about, or don't have the energy, to try to dismantle on their own. What do you expect, when even teachers are intimidated by bullies?
Didn't Clay say something about 'we should all be nicer to each other'. It's possible and I think this really ties in with the overriding message that Hannah's suicide was not inevitable or due to nebulous unknown factors AND should not have been in vain.
This series IS secondary school in the UK and it doesn't have to be this way.

I thought it was a stunning series.

*I still haven't fallen in love with Hannah, noting really remarkable has happened.

But perhaps that's the point? She is anyone?

desperately looking for a reason I have spent all evening watching this*

I know you didn't mean it like this, but it does kind of chime with a message which a lot of girls and women will come across again and again: that you need to be perfect, lovely, loveable for people to pay some attention to you. You shouldn't strike any wrong chords at all, because you get one chance to prove yourself.

Hannah committed suicide. That's enough reason for people to care about her story. She shouldn't have to win you over by suppressing all of her flaws in her suicide note. Even if she was dull, ugly, antisocial...her story still is very worth listening to, no? Even if it doesn't entertain.
But here you have this gorgeous, sparky, friendly, funny girl, and in spite of all that, because she's flawed and isn'tthe 'full package', in your eyes and therefore you're not in love with her, you're wondering why you're watching this?

Women are set up to fail, because we can never be the full package. So yes, that makes it very difficult to be heard, in the end.

Finished this last night. Absolutely loved it. At some points I found Hannah to be a bit dramatic, but at other pointstores I felt really sorry for her. I think all characters were in the middle of good and bad. Except Bryce, I really hated him. It also shows that no one knows what goes on behind closed doors (eg Justin's situation at home) and it clearly sends out the message that even small things can add up. I enjoyed the whole thing, but the last few episodes were the best. I would recommend.

I've watched it and found the episode where you see the suicide so disturbing and upsetting. It was very, very powerful. DS13 has watched it and so have most of his classmates and have started a stupid game where they keep finding things to use as their "13 reasons". I got really annoyed with him today when we went to MacDonalds and they'd run out of milkshakes and he said, "well there's something else to add to my list". Not only do they totally not get the premise of the series but to be so flippant about things that could make you suicidal is totally not acceptable. Anyway, the consequence is that he's off Netflix for the foreseeable future and of course I'm a totally uptight, unreasonable mum

I binge watched this in a day I absolutely loved it and felt it really tackled a lot of modern issues better than I've seen them tackled elsewhere. There are scenes (I won't go into specifics) that are really uncomfortable watching...and that's the way it should be. Too many shows gloss over some topics or dress them up.

I disliked Hannah in many ways but the more I watched, the more I felt I was holding Hannah to a higher standard than I held most of the other characters. For some reason I was thinking about it as though her suicide should have been a result of lots of stuff that happened to her rather than a result of both that and things she was part of.

DP started this without me and I ended up watching 2 or 3 episodes behind him - I knew vaguely what was coming based on how anxious he was when I was watching.

I was irrationally annoyed that they always called her "Hannah Baker". Just call her Hannah!

There are a few scenes towards the end that I thought were filmed in a very effective way - I didn't find them shocking, but DP (who was a fairly sheltered teen) was genuinely quite affected by them.

There is something I just don't get though. (Again, trying for no spoilers...)

Why did none if the people who listened to the tapes earlier on, the ones who didn't do anything criminal, decide to just hand it all over to the police? There are clearly situations in the later tapes which are far more contributory.

I thought that too Lost. Plus I couldn't work out why the main culprit didn't appear to have listened to, or been told about, the tapes 🤔

Ooh, I've just read the book as part of a reading challenge, hadn't realised there was a series!

Lost I think because Hannah wanted everyone to listen to them. Also, Tony was keeping an eye to see if everyone listened. Plus, even if nothing criminal happened, people would find out whatever they did and would give them a bad reputation (Justin and Zach are popular).

Foot He wouldn't have passed them on. Probably would've destroyed them when he found they told what he did to 2 people.

Yeah but Tony's instructions if someone didn't pass the tapes to the next person were to go to the police weren't they? And passing them on to the next person actually meant more people found out what they'd done to Hannah...because it would be treated as evidence if it were handed to the police.

I think I need to read the book to get a bit more insight. There's a 2 month wait on Amazon though

Like the poster above i found the suicide episode very very graphic and upsetting but in a good way for any better word. Because it was not toned down or alluded to.

I dis not really "grow to like" any of the characters - but i think it s the point

It really shook me. Very powerful.

I'm a parent of teens and obviously having been one, I think it's frequently hard for them to know when to ask for help. Teens are often almost-adults who think that they can handle anything and would rather get help from friends than parents and teachers. I think that if the 13 tapes were about adults, the tapes would be in the hands of lawyers or police before the 13th person heard the content.

I thought that it handled rape better than other material I'd watched with my teens. Hannah wasn't a cheerleader in a short skirt and push-up bra (teen movie stereotype) and the rapes weren't stranger in a dark alley (what my teens thought constituted most rapes) . Hopefully most viewers paid attention to the fact that not saying no doesn't mean yes.

I think that it was good that the characters were complex and not fully likeable. They were so ordinary and flawed that you could see it happening anywhere rather than only on movie-land.

I've just finished this series after a couple of binging sessions and it's really knocked me for 6 in the way some series do.

The suicide in the final episode was just so shocking and awful - I kept waiting for them to cut away but they didn't and i was suddenly sobbing for Hannah, and for her parents when they found her.

I think it's such a powerful series with some really interesting takes on feminism, rape/victim blaming, teenagers, etc. and it makes me want to shake my DS and say "Please bloody talk to me if ever anything of making you sad" but he's 19 months so I'll wait a bit before having that convo.

I am finding it tough viewing. Not harrowing or anything just deeply irritating.

clay is wandering around being detective wondering how it fits together when he has the cassette tapes and he would figure it out if he just listened to the tapes.

Hannah brings alot of it on herself. Realises someone is photographing her in her bedroom and she gets in a compromising position with another woman knowing someone is watching ffs. Surprise surprise a photo was circulated.

These 'children' are less than a year from being adults and still behaving like 12 year olds

As for hannah killing herself over that? She is 17. If she kept her head down, her mouth shut and just focussed on the fact she'd be getting out soon to college and away from them all it wouldn't have come to that.

FreeNiki- the series ramps up significantly as it goes on.

I really liked it. I've been watching "how I met your mother" recently too and whilst they are obviously very different in tone the way the two shows tell a story is quite similar. They are both told as one person's "story" in a way that links together lots of seemingly disparate and small events and people. It's someone piecing together all the little things that had a knock-on effect on their life and led them in a particular direction.

Hannah brings alot of it on herself

You're part of the problem.
It's not a 'comromising positition'. She did NOTHING WRONG. She should be able to get drunk in her own room & push limits without being photographed by a stalker ffs - who then spreads it around the school?!

Yeah but she knew she was being photographed and set that up anyway.

Find out you're being watched....tell your parents tell the school tell the police?

No?

Deal with it yourself and make it worse.

Or would any of you be happy for your 17 year old dd to do that instead of telling you and reporting it?

It was so stupid.

And you can do what the heck you like in your own bedroom but if you're on the ground floor, common sense dictates you close the curtains.

I think it's an important story because of attitudes like Niki's.

dh is watching
no idea why, it was suggested to him.
he doesnt tell me what it is about though.