13 Reasons Why - Netflix (Spoiler Alert!!!)

[Groovee]

Just wondered if anyone had started this. I did yesterday. It's slightly strange but yet makes me want to watch more.

Is it really outside the realms of understanding that an immature, depressed, troubled teen might be acting irrationally at times?!

I mean, really??

It just smacked of attention seeking rather than genuine pain.

She brought half of it on herself.

Even Clay said

"Every drama has to be your drama or it doesn't count.

Somehow this is all about you. It's incredible."

Then she pushes him away and blames him for not loving her....

I mean ffs.

Which half did she bring on herself though?

The rape? The stalking? The list that led these boys to grope her and ridicule her? Justin/Bryce sending her photo to everyone?

Was she dramatic? Yes! She was a teen.

And I'd like to think that most people recognise that there's no 'one size fits all' for pain. It presents itself in many different ways.

And suicide is dreadfully sad, whether the person committing it is likeable or not, surely?

the stalking could have solved by telling her parents, the school, the police and keeping her curtains shut.

instead she sets up a scenario which makes it worse and more intimate photos taken and published and another friend an ex friend.

I got bullied at 16. I had sex with a guy in school I thought was my boyfriend. we'd been "dating" for a few months. As soon as he got the sex he ghosted and went out with someone else. he told everyone he had sex with me and dumped me so lots of guys approached me asking for it as i was easy he'd told them.

one day i went into school and saw all the cards id given him at Christmas, b day, valentines, pinned up in bathrooms and notice boards with nasty comments written on them (silly bitch) etc. not his writing on it so he got other people to do it

id walk past them in corridors and they'd laugh at me.

but.....that school was big enough that i could keep away from them. it was the hardest thing i ever did at only 16, but I pretended to be ok and just ignored it. walked past them. hung out with other people. made new friends. kept my head down and counted the time until i could leave.

Hannah's school was big enough that she could have had nothing to do with any of them ever again but she just wouldn't leave it alone.

She knew Bryce raped Jessica and she still went to a party at his house. she shouldn't even have been speaking to any of them. She could have solved it all by backing off and keeping her head own.

Nice bit of victim blaming there Niki.

The difference I guess, is that Hannah was suicidal and you obviously weren't.

Lucky you.

Saw this earlier. Not sure what to make of it.

That post has just reminded me of something. I can't remember what the blonde boy/newcomer was called, but at the end the Principal tells the counsellor he's just shot himself. However, you see the creepy stalker with the gun collection taking the photo of him off the drying line in his dark room. I briefly pondered whether he'd been murdered, rather than taken his own life & it was staged to look like a suicide. But I could be over-thinking it & creepy stalker was just planning to take them all out with a school shooting.

Blonde boy was Alex. Stalker guy is Tyler. I think Alex shot himself - he showed so many suicidal signs. Tyler is planning a school shooting because everybody bullies him. He has a flashback of Alex sticking up for him and decides to spare his life (so takes his picture down, unaware of his attempted suicide). Alexs dad was a cop so a gun would easily have been attainable. That's my theory anyway.

That sounds pretty feasible & logical, Stranger.

Just skimmed this thread in case there are any massive spoilers but I'm on ep 5 and totally hooked, really enjoying it and totally intrigued to find out each characters story and why they're on the tape. Looking forward to reading the thread properly when I've binged the series.

Just finished this tonight. It totally resonated with me, I had basically completely forgotten how terrible a point in high school was for me and this brought a lot of it back. For me it was reminiscent of a point where I was about 13, I do think with the characters in the show being older you expect a lot more of them. Like if it was 13/14 year olds you would understand more them not talking to their parents and immediately going to the police, as well as the flaws in their characters and need for drama, although it wouldn't work as well for the actual events. In my case I had fooled around with a guy and my at the time best friends told the whole school. For a while I struggled on and did think about suicide more than once because when you're so young it does feel like the end of the world; you've done something you regret, the people you trusted let you down, the whole school talking/making fun of you and you think you're parents will be ashamed of you and give you a hard time for the decisions you made. And I didn't even like most of the characters, even Hannah I disliked quite often. But it's made me remember how tough high school was and when my kids are at that age I might watch this with them or get them to read through the book to get us talking openly about the subjects, because I don't ever want them to feel like that and not think they can talk to me, and if the shows got other parents doing that too then that has to be a good thing.

Do we need to address bullying in schools? Yes.
Do we need to address sexual assault and rape culture? Yes.
Do we need to address mental health issues in teens? Yes.

Is the way to do it via a show that offers no resources for mental health or sexual abuse survivors? No.

Is the way to do it with teens watching this show with no parental supervision or chance to talk through these issues? No.

Suicide clusters and copycat suicides are a very real risk.

This show is just irresponsible and triggering and will teach any child struggling that it's an acceptable way out and everyone will realise the error of their ways when you're gone.

Dd's school has written to parents about this series saying that the issues shown (sexual assault, cutting and suicide) are important to discuss with your child, but warning that the series could be too graphic and upsetting for many impressionable teen girls.

I actually would like to delete it from my Netflix before Dd watches anymore episodes but I don't think it's possible to delete a specific show.

possum - if you can't delete the show, is there a way to block it so it can't be watched on your Netflix account?

Not that I can find.

She's 16yo so a bit old to be told she can't watch it. But she's had a suicide attempt before and is depressed at times. So I've been sat there while she's watched the first few episodes and talking with her. She seems to think Hannah is a daft drama lama so I guess that's good.

I've binged watched this all weekend and found it to be very powerful.

I don't think the 13 reasons are why she took her own life but rather what led her to that deep depression where she thought she had no other choice.

I know what it's like to be in that black place where suicidal thoughts are with you every day.
The only person on those tapes I thought was to blame was the school counsellor. She reached out when she was at her lowest and he didn't do anything.

I just wish she'd been able to talk to her parents, maybe not about all the things that had happened to her if she wasn't able, but to tell them how lost and alone and dark she was feeling.
Them seemed like good people and they could have got her the help she needed.

I've also watched the documentary on Netflix "Beyond The Reasons" which I think is well worth a watch after you finish the series.

You can delete your history so it doesn't come up in the continue watching place, and can then mark it as not interested - I guess it would still be searchable, but shouldn't come up at the front page.

On the web home page, sign in and then go to My Account. In the My Profile section click on Viewing Activity and you can see all your history. Click on the X and the film/episode will be removed from your history.

I think you then go back to the home page, or the TV page, or even search for 13 Reasons Why and then down vote it. This should mean that it doesn't come up on any of Netflix's suggestions.

I'm still 3 episodes from the end, so am still working up to the worst of it. I know I'm grown up now as my every thought so far has been 'tell your damn parents', both to Hannah and to Clay. I think there are a lot of good talking points about what the characters could or should have done at any point. Starting with the beginning of the first episode and Clay telling his parents the second he got the tapes with their blackmaily letter. Teens these days seem to think they have to deal with everything by themselves, the not-telling-anyone element of this show has been my only real problem with it so far.

I can't understand the counsellor. Any teacher would know to pass that on as a child protection type issue, they don't have to be able to solve it themselves just to send for the cavalry. I really don't think people would ultimately go "oh my god I was so wrong" after someone kills themselves, and I think it's a bad idea to put that into teenagers' heads. I watched it avidly at the start but ultimately it was not a positive show.

I binge watched this and quite enjoyed it (if that's the right word). I thought it was a good portrayal of the low-level bullying that can really affect people.

One thing confused me though - what was that bit about Tony and his brothers beating up that guy about? I don't understand what that brought to the story or why it was included. I may be missing something very obvious.

Watched this over the last couple of days. I think the general message is good. About how we never know what someone is going through, not just Hannah, but Justin for example, with the shitty background. Or how a few kind/cruel words can make all the difference.

I did think the Zac storyline was weak. He did try to be a friend to Hannah and she threw it in his face. Yeah, he retaliated, with the compliment bag and ignoring her note, but she wanted to guilt trip him when she was the one who was cruel to him in the first place. Him, Alex and Sheri were good kids feel down. Even Justin tugged my heart strings at time.

And I loved Jeff. And Tony, when I decided he was a good guy. Took me a long while though.

Althea Tony said they were beating up a guy who had done something to his sister. I'm not sure if we were meant to assume it was some kind of over-reaction on his part to counter his inaction over Hannah or if it was just to show that a girl with a wider family safety net might have had a different outcome from Hannah.

I thought this was a powerful programme and a good reminder of how shitty high school can be. But I think all the viewers who are angry with Hannah are missing that she did have MH issues so she couldn't compartmentalise. She couldn't walk away from the drama. The tapes were her way of trying to mitigate her own responsibility for what had gone wrong hence why she felt better when she had finished them and thought she'd give life another chance.

Tony, as a character, was supposed to balance Hannah's unreliable narrator. Hence why he kept saying, 'that's Hannah's truth but I want to hear your truth'. He knew Hannah's view wasn't definitive.

But I think they could have spent more time showing Hannah's quiet despair. She told us about it.She told us she felt nothing.She told us she disassociated during the rape. But, I think the court case, the wronged-13's round tables, etc, took the focus away from Hannah. Without that focus, it could be viewed as though she was just out for revenge when she compiled the tapes but her motivation was more complex than that.

By the end of the series, I felt uncomfortable about the overall message because I think it could be damaging to someone who has suicide ideation. At a superficial level, the tapes could be viewed as Hannah controlling how the others processed her death, about making them feel bad and sorry. Ultimately, I think the programme should have felt like a comment on how choosing life was the better option. It didn't show that enough for me.

Sorry, I didn't mean to write so much

Anyone read the book? Dont trouble yourself...

I loved the series - I was hooked from the beginnig - although I actually had to skip the bit when she actually kills herself - there was something so traumatic about that scene I felt sick for hours - and I really only saw the first two seconds and was like "oh so 'm going to look away now".

I thought it was really well done, beautiful to watch and the acting was brilliant.

The message though.. cant say I am comfortable with it - I was stll trying to process how it made me feel about suicide in young adults/kids bullying and shame culture in schools. Thats why Indownloaded the book for my kindle. Bit of a waste if a fiver. Wasnt my style of literature and struggled to read it as it was dual narrative Clay/Hannah but set out quite difficult to read.

In the novel Clay listens to the tapes over one day, there is no dialogue except annecdote in Hannahs stories, Clays mother and Tony.. in the whole book.
Certain aspects were changed - the method of suicide being the big one, the timescale, the general tone of Clay. It is one of the few exception to the rule, "The book is always better".

I thought thhere would be more depth, more detail maybe a bit kore information in the narrative/dialogue in the book.. but there wasn't so I am even more at a loss now.

I certainly did enjoy the series and what I drew from the last few scenes was that Tyler had a hit list, the hanging photos. I thought that in taking Alex's down though he was 'eliminating' his first target though.. not sparing him. Although as you say the flashback of Alex sticking up for him does kind of suggest he is sparing him. Do we think there may be a sequal?