13 Reasons Why - Netflix (Spoiler Alert!!!)

[Groovee]

Just wondered if anyone had started this. I did yesterday. It's slightly strange but yet makes me want to watch more.

Thanks APlaceOnTheCouch. I was in and out of a deep slumber during that episode so i must have missed that. I remain unsure about the significance of it in the programme though.

I finished watching the series yesterday and I'm still thinking about it today. It has reminded me how issues that are seen as trivial by others are all consuming during the teenage years. It can feel like there's no escape. I'd watch it with my children if they were old enough.

DD's school have just issued a safeguarding notice about this film, warning parents about the themes it contains which may cause distress to teenagers watching it.

What I found terrifying was how little the parents knew. You could see them practising positive parenting, being affectionate, trying to be involved, etc but they had absolutely no idea what was going on in their DCs' lives. As a parent, I found that difficult.
The cast were brilliant. Dylan Minnette, especially, is fab.
C4 I was thinking of reading the book to see if there was more detail.I read an interview with the author and he said he had brainstormed a sequel when he wrote the original book but then didn't write it. But he said he'd be happy if they made a second season for Netflix.It did look as though they were setting up for a school shooter storyline. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I agree APlace. Many of the kids came from what looked like good homes, at least Clay, Jessica, Hannah, Zach and the young girl who was afraid to come out (I've forgotten her name). A good home life and positive relationships with parents isn't enough to protect them from to problems that many teenage people experience. And mental health issues can go unnoticed by even the most attentive parents. It's a scary reality.

Finished it last night and feel it trailed off a little towards the end. I thought the messages about how girls are treated by boys in the first half of the series especially was excellent.

With regard to the parents, I thought they were all putting subtle (and not so subtle) pressures on their children in different ways - Zach's mother was pushy about him being better at sport than Justin, Courtney's parents were pushy academically, Hannah's parents were tied up in their money issues; Alex's dad a cop (and with an older sibling who fits the jock stereotype more than he did); Jessica's dad makes some comments about her having relationships with boys as well that it's not clear whether they're in jest. Even Clay makes a comment to hannah about his parents' relationship that suggests all is not rosy. None of that a reason for what happened but I thought it was interesting nonetheless

It was insightful on the pressures on teenage girls and women but then as it progressed it annoyed me that both Jessica and Hannah were sidelined in their own stories. It was Hannah's suicide but it became about Clay 'avenging' her and Tony helping to keep them all on track with the tapes.
I didn't know who had written the original novel and at the beginning, I thought it might have been a woman but by about half way through, I knew it was a man. It still subscribed to the fairy-story standard of a girl needing a good, kind man to save her from herself, other bitchy women and other men.

I finished watching this last night and I really enjoyed (for want of a better word) each person's journey in the story.

SPOILER

I must admit that I completely missed the relevance of Tyler's ending sequence, but after C4's thoughts about him having a hitlist, the pictures of each person hanging up and the chest of guns - could the point of him taking down Alex's picture be because he had shot him in the head and not Alex doing it to himself?

To those saying they didn't like, or warm to Hannah, that she wasn't nice etc...I don't think you are supposed to love Hannah...and really, is her suicide only tragic enough if we warm to her, or if she likeable/loveable/lives up to societies pre-conceived standards about girls/women?

Regardless of who she was/what she did, she didn't deserve what she went through at the hands of all the people who claimed to be her friends.

That's what I liked about the show though, all of the characters are complex and 3 dimensional. None of them are completely just good nor are they just bad Except the rapist he WAS just bad, in my opinion.

Most of them didn't intend to cause hurt upon others, they just didn't think of how their actions affect other people because they are all at that very awkward, complicated stage in life which is a teenager. Exactly, it's all the little things that ended in a massive thing that finally pushed her over the edge. It's a good lesson to learn for teens in that just because you may have only done something small it doesn't mean that it is OK. Because you have no idea what else that person is living.

... I couldn't work out why the main culprit didn't appear to have listened to, or been told about, the tapes The plan was that no one was told about the tapes until they got them. Bryce was supposed be after Clay. Except Clay decided to act on what he heard, and not keep the secrets. I think that was Hannah's intention. It showed us who her real friends were, because up until Clay NO ONE acted on any of it, and just wanted to keep the secrets to protect themselves.

Hannah brings alot of it on herself. Realises someone is photographing her in her bedroom and she gets in a compromising position with another woman knowing someone is watching ffs. Surprise surprise a photo was circulated ... These 'children' are less than a year from being adults and still behaving like 12 year olds. As for hannah killing herself over that? She is 17. If she kept her head down, her mouth shut and just focussed on the fact she'd be getting out soon to college and away from them all it wouldn't have come to that

Nice bit of victim blaming there. Hannah kissed a fellow student who, in that moment, she had feelings for...that is NO excuse for anyone to be peeping into her home and taking photos. But well done on following the script...I expect you think she deserved the rape too, seeing as she got in the hottub in her underwear.... and yes, 16/17 yr olds do act like children, because they are..

I think it's an important story because of attitudes like Niki's. Hear hear!!

FreeNiki So firstly you post a post berating the show for showing the suicide, then you post graphic details about the suicide.
Also, I think the whole point of the programme was that the big stuff that happened to her (witnessing the rape, the picture shown around the school, the groping by many boys) made the smaller things take on a new meaning. Perhaps most girls would be upset about a boy not loving them, not making the right moves, and would be able to handle that fairly well and move on. In Hannah's case it just added to the rest of the factors that already made her feel unlikable, unwanted etc. When you are depressed, little incidents take on a whole new persona.

hung out with other people. made new friends I want to start by saying that I am sorry for what you experienced. Hannah made new friends, several times. They all shat on her eventually. They used her a scapegoat. That is what contributed to the overall feeling of being abandoned.

I did think the Zac storyline was weak. He did try to be a friend to Hannah and she threw it in his face. He groped her in the diner after the other guy left. That is why she went off him, because he proved her was just like the rest of them.

I've chatted to my 14 yo dd about this programme, I haven't watched it but if this article about it is even close to correct I don't think I want to and I certainly don't want her to. We have had a lot of discussion about mental health concerns for various reasons and I think this would do more harm than good.

OddBoots Don't rely on articles, watch it. Form your own opinion.

My 13 yr old could handle it, yet I know that my friend's 13yr old could not.

It is a very personal thing!

I think a programme that has disturbed a group of adults (judging by this thread) is not great for any 13 year old to have to try to handle.
I found the depictions of the sexual bullying of teenagers very useful, I kind of wish a series was written showing this but with a more positive outcome and without the fantasy of how they'll learn to be sorry from your death.

Iggi999 My daughter hasn't seen it yet, but I know that she would be able to handled the subjects that arise as we have a very open and close relationship. I don't know if I will let her see it yet.

Also, just because it disturbs some adults, it doesn't mean it is a bad programme. The Conjuring disturbed me, do I want to ban it? No. I just choose not to watch it.

Everything will disturb someone. Everything will offend someone. It is up to the individual to decide if their child should watch it or not, not a group of random people.

differentnameforthis Did he? I'll need to watch that one again!

Oh & I refuse to base any of my parenting choices on what the masses on MN think.

differentnameforthis I'm 99% sure he didn't grope Hannah

noitsnotme Actually, I think I got that wrong. It was Marcus who got her in the diner..not Zach. yet I did find that him removing all the complements from the bags they had was harsh, he wanted her to think that no one liked her, or thought anything of her. Which further sunk her self esteem.

I got it mixed up..I thought Marcus left and he came over to her. Opps!

Yes, the thing with the bags was mean, especially over a prolonged period. I could understand if it was just a day or two that he was angry. But he did try and show her some kindness on two occasions, she owed him an apology for blowing up at him the second time in the school canteen. Instead she wrote him a guilt tripping note and he didn't bite. When she realised it was him she should have talked to him and they could have both discussed and apologised for their behaviour.

I agree...I think she lumped him in with all the rest though, thinking he only wanted one thing. I think her view of that group was so tainted by then, she had judged him on their actions.

Zac helped to show that Hannah was an unreliable narrator. She was sure he had binned her note yet he had kept it. In a way, he was the precursor of her encounter with Clay. Hannah judged Zac did through the filter of what had happened with the other boys.
OddBoots imo the article is accurate on some points and flawed on others. I agree with the concern that it seems to show people being sorry for their behaviour after the suicide.That does unhelpfully imply that Hannah's suicide served a deeper purpose. I disagree with the point that someone in the midst of crisis wouldn't take the time to make the tapes.It's shown that making the tapes becomes a way for Hannah to unburden herself and that she feels 'lighter' once she has completed them.At that point, she decides against suicide.
As a teen who internalised a lot, I wouldn't have benefited from watching 13 Reasons Why in my early teens.My parents may have thought we had an open relationship and talked a lot but much like the parents in 13 Reasons Why, they would have been mistaken. Also, I don't think the programme is good at distinguishing between regular teenage angst and developing depression/MH issues so I'd be concerned that an early teen would struggle to make that distinction too.

I've just finished watching this and have alot of mixed feelings.

I think it's believable in the sense of the day to day sexism and and assults that happens with all groping and how no one sees any issue with it and in fact are meant to be grateful that some highly revered boy has shown an Interest in them. I likes the way it challenged the fact that no girls should not have to put up with it and there's nothing wrong with them for not being interested.

I can never quite fathom the Americans portrayal of kids and even adults being so invested and so interested in someone else's sex lives what's that all about. It's always such a big deal and the parents are always so cross and unapproachable that it's very worrying if it's accurate as those kids literally have no one to turn to.

The victim blaming was incredible that counsellor has so many opportunities to keep those children safe but failed. Isn't there a legal obligation to report these things? And is it really like this in America? Do they go to such extremes to protect their star players? I can't imagine being a subject of their actions and knowing taht schools would rather brush it under the carpet and ignore their responsibilities just to save the basket ball teams...

I did find Hanna very dramatic and what she did to clay was so cruel. Having to listen to 11 tapes thinking he's done something so terrible only to discover his crime was doing what she asked him to do . He reacted badly to a few things but she knew he wasn't like the others and that he loved her.

I do agree with the worrying message it sends that somehow by dying it's going to make people realise what they did and where they failed and that it will help others. When the truth is someone who commits suicide got to that point woth no one noticing anything and their lives will carry on without you like they did before.

But I did like how it's showed that it's not always one big major event that makes some do i. So all this " his nan died keep an eye on him" stuff is not helpful. It's a culmination of lots and lots of things that people won t think are big deals and no one will suspect that anything would he taht bad after..

I think the show isn't in the category of just entertainment in the way a scary movie is. I would not have concerns that a teen would decide to run riot with a chain saw or torture hitchhikers. I do worry about self harm, depression and suicide and I don't think this show is the best way to raise these issues with a teen. I was an avid viewer but the last episodes turned me against it somehow.

Iggi yes, that's similar to how I felt after around 8 episodes

This show seems to try to justify suicide as an act of revenge. She didn'the just commit suicide - she meticulously planned out making those videos for people, blaming them all for her own actions. It's a very problematic programme.