Unforgotten - ITV

[southeastdweller]

Anyone else watch the start of the second series tonight?

Cagliostro
Hope you have managed to find some peace. I often wonder about my old school pal and how she managed to cope - or not cope .

Thank you Pepper :) I'm generally pretty good now - I've come a long way, still have the scars (literally as well as metaphorically) but it's not generally something that I think about anymore. I've had shitloads of therapy and worked through a lot, I have my own family now and I'm proud that I can be a good mum despite the legacy I grew up with. It was difficult - particularly this last episode - but I really think it did me good to watch this series, and to sit with some old feelings again for a bit. :) And to be able to talk about how I relate to it on here has been good for me as well, so thank you for reading. :)

I am so very sorry for what you went through Cagliostro but it is good to read that you are doing so well now

Cagliostro I'm glad you're in a good place now.

Yy Rosie Cavaliero is great in everything I've seen her in.

Cagliostro glad to know you're doing relatively ok. Well done you for surviving. Too many of us!

Rosie Cavaliero was in Cold Feet back in the day, wasn't she? Played a colleague Adam had a fling with IIRC. Hadn't seen her in anything else since.

Felt it got a little rushed

So they all killed each other's abuser but totally explained who did who

Not sure how 2 woman managed to kill 2 men

How Marion managed to get on his boat and kill the scout teacher (for the lawyer)

How he managed to hang Marion's dad (for SARA the teacher)

How sara stabbed dw for Marion the nurse

Or is that all wrong

Blondes bangs head

But glad they got off. They have suffeeed enough

I can't think what else she's been in but I've seen her in loads of stuff - she's a really good actor.

Cagliostro & Graphista - I think it's enormously brave of you to watch. I'm so sorry you went through that. It happened to a very close friend so I have an idea of the multiple layers of complex emotions involved, especially when it's in the family

Blonde

Pretty sure...

Marian killed David Walker for Sara
Colin killed Marians father for her
Sara killed Colin's abuser for him

Agreed . They had suffered enough.

Obviously can't speak for cagliostro but the bit I found hardest was cassie saying about abuse victims going on to become abusers. Many abusers CLAIM to have been victims falsely.

I also find it harder to understand the likes of marions mother and David's wife than the abusers. They KNOW ignoring a disclosure/evidence is so wrong. My mothers actually said the reason she stayed with my father (also violent to her and my siblings though I was the only sexual victim) was largely financial (she claims she thought it better than us - her and my siblings - living 'in poverty' 1 that wouldn't have been worse 2 it wouldn't have happened as she had a supportive extended family. Basically she prioritised her lifestyle over our safety.)

It's believable that Marion killed DW, IMO. Firstly, she was extremely angry (constantly, for so many years, understandably 😔) Secondly, although DW's body was found in the river, I think they concluded that he'd been stabbed with some sort of carpentry tool? Marion's husband was a carpenter, wasn't he? I think we had a lingering camera shot on some of his woodworking tools at some point. Thirdly, DW didn't know Marion and would have no reason to feel threatened by her so she would have had the element of surprise on her side.

Graphista, that is just so awful. It's so chilling that the families and loved ones of an abuser can wilfully ignore it. I'm so sorry for what happened to you, and to Cagliostro. You both seem incredibly strong (though I'm aware that you've had little choice but to 'be strong'.)

In fact thank you to those posting who haven't been victims for NOT saying things like

'No mother would do that' relating to marions mother
'No wife would do that' relating to David's wife
'That doesn't make sense' regarding marions treatment of her husband and sister

I also liked Saira's husbands blast at the police for not looking for saira as a 13 yr old runaway and for claiming a child 'chooses' to be a prostitute as if that's not abusive/wrong.

I've friends who were child runaways. My personal opinion is that kids don't run away without a bloody good reason! Fred and rosemary west certainly took advantage of that!

I was highly impressed by it all and thought it was good that they focussed on the abuse, and the 3 being victims, rather than concentrating on the murders. I didn't feel it missed anything by not all the plot twists having a clean ending, as life is like that.

Also on the subject of people covering for abusers- I think that happened with all three of the abusers in the programme. Marion's mother, DW's wife, and Colin's abuser's associate. In the latter' state case, he didn't admit that he'd known anything at the time but I think was implied in the fact that he initially pretended he'd never heard of the man.

'The latter's case', that should say.

Yy Graphista re Saira's husband. Didn't the police say that to some of the families of the girls involved in Rotherham? It's their choice/their lifestyle. It's shocking how little has changed in some areas.

Yes wading although didn't the guy say "oh no-one looked very hard for him" when he drowned, maybe implying lots of people knew what he did?

That guy (Colin's abuser) had already come out of prison so presumably lots of people would've known.

I liked the ending, I do struggle with not-wrapped-up endings generally but as Marcia said life ain't like that!

I wonder if there'll be a third series and if this case will continue to crop up, like the Sandsomethingorother ones in Broadchurch. If Cassie will get into trouble for her decision to drop it.

Thank you Graphista and yes too many of us. Really, really terrifying, the extent of it. And wondering if it's the same now or not.

Sorry didn't mean to hijack the thread. It's been really useful though, seeing people's reactions to the programme. To know that my/Marion's mums' behaviour was abhorrent. That I wasn't wrong to be hurt and angry about it. Because when you grow up IN that dysfunction you just can't see how wrong it is.

Errr like I said didn't mean to hijack sorry! :o

Ah yes Cagliostro I'd forgotten the bit about him being in prison.

I can't speak for anyone else on the thread, but please don't apologise for discussing your experiences.

Yes also graphista agree about the abused becoming abusers bit. When Sunny and Cassie argued about that a few episodes back was uncomfortable viewing.

I used to be fascinated by all that stuff, I read loads as a teen, accounts of death row inmates and what had led them to that point, lots of crime books about the Wests etc, it was a way of processing it all myself I guess.

I have always wondered what makes one victim continue the same path and another break the cycle.

Yes sadly when these people are revealed often people around them say things like 'I thought he was a bit off but you don't say anything eh'

And yes Rotherham was handled appallingly! As were other multiple cases. The victims called liars and troublemakers, families concerns ignored and dismissed...

Just for balance good police officers get frustrated too. Cps often don't prosecute if all they have is 'unreliable' victims/witnesses (children, addicts, mentally ill, criminal records - though of course some of the victims are addicts/mentally ill/criminals BECAUSE of the abuse), also lack of evidence as of course many victims don't disclose till physical evidence is gone, the crimes rarely have witnesses etc. Or if perpetrators are powerful and/or wealthy they know they'll have good defence lawyers making it harder to get a conviction. Just look at famous perpetrators like savile, rolf Harris, Gary glitter... Some have been convicted now but got away with it for years even decades.

Thanks Larainette :)

I actually really liked the way they portrayed Sara's husband - that he turned from her initially in shock and then totally stood by her and saw her for the victim she really was.

About the abuse victims going on to abuse - I assume there is some truth in that line otherwise it wouldn't be trotted out so frequently. But how many abuse victims go on not to abuse? That's the bit that's missing.

Thanks larainette

And cagliostro - some of us need to process by understanding these abusers somehow, some need to not think about it (I have one friend I know who went through far worse than I and she can't watch anything along this line) neither is wrong.

What I did find interesting which I don't know if it's true and hadn't heard before - when cassie said that apparently victims recognise/are drawn to other victims ' something in the posture or something'