19 kids and counting / safety

[MommyTVFan]

Hi
Followed Sue and Noel Radford and family on our tv programmes & see they have a new show on tomorrow (29/12/16).

Something I don't get is child safety in this and other larger families.

I mean I had 3 under 7 and I watch 2.5y old all the time, even when he is in older siblings room as there's bunk beds etc and even dressing up clothes can be dangerous

I know the Radford's have super high bunk beds and they always have around 4 kids under 6y I wonder how they supervise them? Or do you think kids like these and in other larger families are in hospital much more often ?

I hate the way their glorified by some just for having a large amount of children.

This is going to sound a bit preachy but I really think that with the environmental problems the world is facing today that smaller families should be encouraged.

It was the late 80's so not exactly another era. I can't imagine my parents/teachers etc being ok with me at 13yo having a baby with an 18yo.

Previous series have tended to give the impression that Noel is the hard done by partner- up working at 5am running the business, coming home to help get the kids up for school, cooking dinner, doing the DIY, all to service Sue's desperate need to breed.
This programme shed a lot more light... Noel comes across as creepy and the driving force behind them
Having endless kids. I agree with those who suggest that sue may have some mild learning difficulty. Even if she doesn't, it sounds like her education effectively finished at age 13 and she's clearly never learnt to cope with adult life, it seems she's gone from being parented by her adoptive parents (who seemed really sweet, if long suffering) to living with Noel who seems quite controlling.
The age gap - 13 and almost 18 years when she first fell pregnant - is shocking. It also came across very strongly that the older children don't like having so many siblings and that they feel overlooked in favour of the newest baby. I also thought the numerous references to sex were really childish. Sue's sex talk with her daughters was cringey.

I didn't realise the family have a kind of cult following - how the hell can people support or look up to a couple where the guy got the girl pregnant at 13?

Was he 18, I had thought he was around 15.

An 18 year old with a 13 year old is predatory, 15 and a 13 not so much (still not positive mind)

bobbie I agree, I liked them a lot the first time they were on tv but now.....not so much.

He's 45 and she is 40 dodo and she was pregnant at 13 they just don't mention his age in the episode instead choosing to refer to it as both being in their teens

yes I noticed massive brushing under the carpet... just mentioning they were both teenage parents.

Yeah, I see that now clumsyduck. Their website refers to her as 14 when she had the first. His age isn't mentioned.

Their birth dates on Wiki (not the most reliable I know). Have her as 14 (March 22, 1975), by just 1 and a bit months when the first was born (May 7, 1989) and him 18 (December 24, 1970).

So that's 13 and 17 when first pregnant? If my maths is right!!

Yeh that seems right though 13 and 17
And 14 and 18 still seems incredibly wrong to me

I agree that this is the first programme where I felt uncomfotable watching them. Noel sounds as pervy as Jim Bob Duggar and I think his insistence that there will be a few more babies "because I know Sue wants another baby" makes him sound really controlling. I think Sue could benefit from the Freedom Programme.

I don't know much about controlling men but see a lot of posters didn't like Noel. What (apart from sex talk) was the controlling stuff?

And why is he creepy? His talk with the Australian dad where it was all bout number of kids over all else ?

Where do you start? The fact that as a 17, going on 18 year old, he got a 13 year old child pregnant. It was also obvious from the programme
That he has huge unresolved issues about being adopted, and was described having endless babies as 'sticking 2 fingers up' to their birth mothers. I found that quite shocking- it was admitting
That it's an irrational obsession rather than a desire to bring more human beings into existence. Bearing in mind his wife is increasingly having high risk pregnancies, it's doubly shocking that he seems to view her as a brood mare.
Previous programmes have focused very much on how he seems to be the one running the household - I actually felt a bit sorry for him as he always appeared to be working twice as hard as Sue, who just popped babies out and then tore her hair out about the kids fighting, general state of the house etc
However I think a lot more came
Out in the latest programme which points towards sue being extremely vulnerable and immature (possibly some SEN issues too?) and Noel calling the shots.
I predict a big crisis when she can't reproduce any more.
Btw was anyone else a bit shocked by the level of casual physical fighting among the children? I know minor scrapping is part of family life but this seemed a step further, and it was clearly left to the older siblings to break up the fights. It also didn't sit comfortably with me that there seemed such a marked gender divide with the girls changing nappies and being mounded into mini mothers and the boys beating the shit out of each other

I read most of this thread before watching the programme but have to admit I didn't find Noel creepy, just obviously affected by his own adoption - not controlling in a sinister way for me at all. I find it amazing though that it's taken 19 kids and he still doesn't fully understand his obsessive desire to procreate yet. I found Aussie dad much creepier, especially his competitive comment to want to have more kids having met the Radfords with their marginally larger family.

I'd thought previously the same thing that others have said about Sue, but think that's more to do with the fact her education must have finished early since having a baby at 13. She did seem like a nervous little girl while on the phone to the hospital to talk about coming in for the birth like she'd never done it before, found that a bit odd. She's never had a paid job, never slept with anyone else, never been anywhere on her own, never lived anywhere else, studied anything - that's very rare nowadays.

As for her advising her daughters they go on the pill... Don't think they need much advice in that area - having that many siblings I bet most of them will have either none or just one or two kids.

Also felt sorry for some of the awkward teenage sons being paraded around in Australia like a circus act, they looked uncomfortable.

Soubrette- YY I was thinking exactly the same about the Australia trip.

The parents tried to dress it up as an amazing family holiday.... er no; just an excuse for another programme with a new spin on it. The children looked really uncomfortable with their Australian counterparts, and none of it can have felt much like a holiday with tv cameras trailing them.

Noel and Sue have sold their family to the media as entertainment, and I wonder how the children will feel in years to come. I suspect the older ones feel pressured into participating- though didn't someone mention that the eldest is pretty much estranged from the family? Makes you wonder what went on there....

I actually feel uncomfortable about having watched it now- as if I'd bought the Daily Mail, I'm contributing to this being a form of entertainment by having viewed it.

This programme seemed to intentionally show them in a different way. There was no mention of them not claiming benefits (which is usually their punch line) and they were asked questions that critics usually ask, such as one of their young girls getting pregnant. As other posters said Noel is usually portrayed as the backbone of the family and Sue is busy doing 11 loads of washing, 3 hours of ironing and hoovering daily. This time they came across as ditzy teenagers.

As the children get older (particularly the boys) I assume that they won't want to feature in the shows anymore. I remember the eldest boy Chris refused to go on camera and on This Morning Phil said he had to be dragged into the studio.

The Aussie family remind me of the Dugggars exactly, right down to being called Mr and Mrs. Her saying that within 5 minutes of giving birth she wants another one is a bit sad really. Enjoy the one in your arms for a few months at least!

Sophie had on facebook that there were 3 million views for the programme so they are clearly popular, I assume this time next year there wil be another programme about them.

Suppose it's a bit of car crash tv. That's why they get some viewers. It was definitely a different style to the last one.

"As other posters said Noel is usually portrayed as the backbone of the family and Sue is busy doing 11 loads of washing, 3 hours of ironing and hoovering daily. This time they came across as ditzy teenagers. "

YY to the above (although frankly their teenage kids spoke more sense than Noel and Sue)

I was also thinking back to previous episodes where sue does indeed spend ridiculous hours ironing and hoovering- I mean what's the bloody point? I never ironed my kids clothes (excepting readily special occasions like a wedding)
I know tv will be edited to highlight certain things, but even so, it was clear that this was Sue's usual routine. She seems unable/unwilling to sit down and talk properly to her children or to play with them... the production line of babies and the manic ironing are an avoidance strategy so they don't have to face the underlying issues. Much easier to keep busy rather than stop and listen to what their existing children are trying to tell them.

Another thing I remember from previous series is that they buy a new pram for each baby
Either they are buying into the whole marketing thing again (if local businesses are getting them a good deal for the publicity) or they're just chucking money on expensive baby stuff - either way it doesn't reflect well, because it highlights how it's the newest baby that is the sole focus of attention at the expense of all the others

didn't realise the family have a kind of cult following - how the hell can people support or look up to a couple where the guy got the girl pregnant at 13?

Their fan base are incredibly culty.

They won't hear a bad word mentioned.

Anything you say, they have a retaliation.

"He was almost 18 when he got a 13 year old pregnant!"
"Least they are still together and happy"

"They say they don't claim benefits but it's impossible they don't"
"I would rather they claim the benefits than those chavvy scrounging parents who don't work at all. Or druggies or alkies"

"It isn't fair on the kids"
"Shut up!! They love having a large family. Sue and Noel are fantastic parents and you should be ashamed of yourself for being such a bitch"

I did it once. Won't do it again

And Noel has never bothered me before this episode. Like others said, i always thought it was Sue that wanted the babies. Now it's him and there was just something i couldn't put my finger on about him.

A friend of mine is in the same FB group as them (no idea what) and described them as 'very attachment parenting' but I don't really see how they can be, at least not in my view of what AP is - the toddlers get passed on when another baby arrives

You know something that bothers me, and it's something that I've come across in real life too... When a couple say that they're not planning a baby, or are unsure, but in the next breath they say that they don't use contraception 😕 Then they'll act all surprised and call the baby 'unplanned' or 'a happy accident' 😏

Aoibhe yes, that stupid anecdote Sue said right at the end about a lady who'd asked her if they were going to have any more and she said hmm not sure, and then asked her if they were using contraception, no, so they both laughed because that meant there would probably be more
Can she really not say no to her husband? Or could be she just doesn't know what she wants any more. She's so used to this single way of being that she doesn't know what it's like to say actually no darling, I want to stop having more mouths to feed, instead I want to go to college or evening classes or something for myself in a few years' time.

I guess that means having sex and not ttc eg not thinking about the most/least fertile days.

" How on earth do they read each night with the school age kids? "

sorry that is so Mumsnet! obviously they dont read to their children! How could they?

Just remembered: when they went to see the clairvoyant, poor Sue actually wanted to believe she was right when she said there would be no more babies - it was like a lifeline to her the way she clung on to that - whereas Noel was downright pissed off at the suggestion and tried to convince Sue she wasn't accurate anyway. That was quite telling.

The "never have a headache" remarks made me a bit . Can remember what Sue said said in that conversation but it struck me as being very passive.