The Apprentice 2016

[Dillite2]

It is that time of the year when we get to enjoy watching a bunch of incompetent baffoons try an impress Lord Suranal, whilst we laugh and mock them from our sofa's.

I am reading all of their quotes in this morning's Metro and I already want to slap each and every one of them.

And it wasn't fair to slate either team for playing up the Japanese angle. They were told it was a Japanese brand of jeans. Rule No 1 is that you're supposed to go with for Lord Suranal tells you, like a game of Simon Says.

I don't know why they were slated for the Japan thing when he mentioned it first.

Natalie is awful - I am Scottish. Nothing like her. She was cringey.

I am so glad that it's not just me that keepa typing Sir Suranal, limited.

I copied it from you Dillite2 I think it's a good one.

Problem is, with each series the candidates just get weirder and madder. It would be so novel to watch an episode where a team doesn't have some sort of hideous fall out.

Just going back a few comments - Natalie either most definitely did fancy Rhod Gilbert or l'm afraid that's how she deals with most men. It was excruciating watching her, she didn't seem to understand what was going on or being said. I suspect the production team might have realised what she was like and thought it would make good telly - in which case I feel quite sorry for her.

I went to the House of Lords gallery a few years ago and Lord Siranal walked in. He didn't stride in arrogantly, he did it in the slightly awkward way he does on the show.

But he caused a bit of a stir because he's a celebrity and he's very well dressed with a nice tan - though I wish he'd get a proper shave instead of cutting his beard with those round-nosed blunt scissors you give to small children.

Everyone in the public gallery said in a loud whisper: 'Ooh look! It's Alan Sugar' which derailed someone's speech on fishing quotas. He nodded at us and sat down but left about 10 minutes later with us going: 'Ooh look! He's going out again.'

When he walks in with Lady Brady they must stop traffic

There have been some unimpressive candidates in the past, but never tacky ones iirc. The hair, makeup and the fawning over Rhod Gilbert - yuck. I think her agenda was to get famous, not to work with Alan Sugar. Grim. I liked her voice though - the accent appeals to me.

Are we ready for tonight?

I never noticed that Suranal had filmed outside my old house for the intro bit.

It must be a nightmare sharing bedroom with other people. I always let out the loudest fart just as I begin waking up- imagine others hearing it?

Oooh allocating project manager already

I guess he knows that they can't be allowed to pick who is to be a PM all by themselves.

Sausage man reminds me of someone, but I can't figure out whom or what.

Salt and vinegar sweets? Why would anyone want sweets that taste like the devil's asshole?

I would love to make my own candy one day.

Do football goers even buy sweets?

A football club?!

Oh this shower are rubbish

Gosh, they are even failing at making sweets.

Karen Brady gets on my tits!

They're all useless.

Aw bless Fat Mark Wright

Suck it & Sea? WTF?

Sausage man is terrible! He can not manage. And two rocks for £6?