Our Girl and Captain James Addicts Part XVI

[icemistOBE]

The CJ Collective "Sophisticated Silliness"

Feel free to join in as we discuss all things Our Girl and Captain James related.

Honorary Members of The CJ Collective:

Ben Aldridge
Tony Grounds
Lacey Turner
Cast & Crew of Our Girl

Home to these amazing fan fiction authors-

www.fanfiction.net/u/6318354/CJCollective
m.fanfiction.net/u/6300867/Paintedcherryblossoms
m.fanfiction.net/u/6345258/LolaGirl14
www.fanfiction.net/u/4566477/Itsembarrasing
www.fanfiction.net/u/6304858/Toffeecrisp
www.fanfiction.net/u/6259428/Pinerug
www.fanfiction.net/u/1390374/jenmc
www.fanfiction.net/u/6329437/Ski-dreamer
www.fanfiction.net/u/6204205/Shazbo
www.fanfiction.net/u/6348081/LJKBananagirl

Ask for a copy of The How To Talk CJ Collective Handbook

and new for Part XVI
specialzombieservice.simplesite.com/416230591
painted-cherry-blossoms.simplesite.com/

woof Don't assume anything!! Close protection does exactly what it says on the tin!!

orphan sorry I missed out the matching cushions!!

woof am currently having a restorative massage from Rupert (he's finally forgiven me for the audible crack). You put my thigh muscles under considerable strain when you sat on me in my armchair disguise - and I have to say I didn't appreciate the way you plumped my cushion...

And I think you left a pilchard stuffed down my seat.

rhubarb I too loved Daziel and Pascoe. Dp won't let me forget that I once had a dream about Warren Clark after he'd appeared in a dressing gown in one episode. Very odd how the mind works...

I think Rupert must be a very big man to forgive you the last audible crack, orphan coz he was totally traumatized during my restorative duct tape procedure and said it was the last time he'd be stuffing your cushions. You must have very good underlay that's all I can say.

I wondered what happened to my fourth pilchard - it must've slipped out by accident. Can you post it back to me coz I need it for my Hamburg act and three will not be enough to fill the gap so to speak. I haven't got the time to gaze out to sea for a whole Poldark episode waiting for the next shoal.

Have you considered using tinned pilchards cjwoof? In the pro camp there's the lack of odour which would help in your covert work, in the cons camp there's the danger element of the act and the extra pressures on your pelvic floor.

Also, clanking may be an issue.

Also pixie those ring pulls on the pilchards tins have a nasty habit of getting caught and woof could suffer from an impromptu pilchard 'release'.

woof I think we both know Rupert is indeed a very big man.

We'll yes, that could be unfortunate. With that in mind I would advise against pilchard smuggling if you had a cough.

Good advice pixie. Obvs I was speaking from my experience as a canned fish mule, smuggling goods over the borders. I won't bore you with my tales of months spent in a Thai jail having been caught with 3 kilo of anchovies.

Pure unadulterated anchovies of course. Only the best.

Columbian?

Of course.

OH BOY I have missed so much... SPO Brilliiant!

Great updates not had a chance to review as reading on phone and don't log into account on that.

Tinned pilchards are a good idea pixie but fresh are much larger so my personal Stargazy Pie finale once the ping pong balls have been fired is that much more of an eye opener. I need CJ in a "shock and awe" state of mind in order to bundle him under my poncho and I'm afraid Glenryck's red label simply won't inspire a wow factor. I need CJ to be right up there for the challenge.

Only anchovies for you then orphan? Once I've mastered the pilchards I was striving for rainbow trout next which I think puts me in the Premier League of fishy projectiles

But woof the very last thing a successful canned fish mule wants is a projectile fish. Concealment at all costs was my aim. However, I have to admit that it was a premature release of anchovies that spelt the end of my smuggling career.

Why stop at trout woof? Aim big, really big. Fresh tuna?

BK you said CJ likes upmarket travel. The check in at Manchester airport was interminably slow and CJ was very impatient, so look what happened....

Now you're just being unrealistic orphan , even I can't stretch to more than a Dover sole and even then only after some tantric yoga. I agree that a premature release can put a severe dampener on things, especially when wearing my full length poncho

I'm going to have nightmares

ice you're obvs too young and lack the flaccidity for fishy projectiling

You lot aren't doing my pitiful pelvic floor strength any favours with this fishy business! Any more laughter and I'll need to change undies soon, albeit at least they won't have a pilchard whiff like woof's will.

Indeed jen I never cease to surprise myself at the levels of degradation and humiliation I will put myself through just to get an audience with CJ. Fishy knicks are only half the story...

I blame my over ambition in trying to smuggle the 3 kilo of anchovies for the premature release (and the long stretch in the Thai jail). Previously I'd been known in the illegal canned fish world as The Clamp due to my superior pelvic floor strength.