New the Island with Bear Grylls

[Akire]

Anyone else looking forward to this one? After last time I think there a BOys and a Girls island though it is just boys tonight. Roll up roll up anyone who has no idea how to lit a fire or build a shelter whilst knowing they are going on a survival program!

Y'know, with serious dedication from you + all the invaluable advice and tips you get from us, it'll be a piece of piss for you. Speaking of which, start practising now you know the drill

jacana you amateur! Braids are the obvious hiding place for steel wire and other deadly but very thin supplies.

Liquorice laces!

Are sweetie necklaces too obvious?

Could you swallow condoms of sugar, like a drugs mule would with drugs? And have packs of tampons and sanitary towels but filled with sugar (and use the pillow some such to stop bleeding anyway).

How do they manage their periods? Where do they dispose of their sanitary products?

Or do they all have mooncups and empty them in the sea? Not sure I'd fancy one rinsed in salt water

When I was travelling I went on the pill. No periods and no pmt either. But you could pretend to have periods and smuggle stuff into your pretend sanitary ware?

I reckon you need to reesearch the girls already there, see if you can spot what made them be picked?

Any chance between now an then you could develop a hobby of beach combing to make wondrous things out of debris? Learn all about cooking with seaweed, etc. pretend to be Welsh? Welsh do wondrous things with seaweed.

They have no fire and no water. Most of them are just lying about, not even in the shade, whining!

Gosh, that scream was awful to hear.

They boiled the water n a metal container with the lid on. That must have hurt. A lot. I hope she's ok.

The micro penis conversation :o

Are we taking bets on how often they get lost on their jaunt to the other beach?

I reckon first time lucky, they'll find it.

What happened to the mother pig? Why are the piglets staying by them?

Those pigs would not be alive if they had walked into the men's camp.

Getting a bit irritated with these women now...

Oh come on eat the pigs ffs why did they befriend them it's only going to make it harder!!

Did the piglets follow them?

No, they can't eat the trusting piggies! They were laying next to them as they struggled with the fire.

They will tho, won't they?

DH: "I have girls age 10 who have just come into scouts who could do better than that. This group of women are offending me. Why are we doing all this gender equality only for Bear Grylls to undo it all with his selection of women. Its worse than having no women's island."

Can't believe what I'm seeing

Just eat them ffs!

Their big mistake was calling them Sage and Onion. They just need to kill the pigs, FFS. These women are an embarrassment - what the fuck did they think the island would be like?

Where did the mother pig go though? I'm sure those piglets were planted there. Especially since they are following them around.

I reckon the TV producers had the say over who was on the show. It makes for dramatic television, don't you know.

These bloody women are really boiling my piss now! I'm veggie and would have devoured one of those pigs by now!

I found that unbearable to watch, they definitely should not have named those pigs.
I don't think I could have killed them. I'm a vegetarian and am so glad to be in a position where my survival doesn't depend on meat.
Very impressed by Lauren though she's made of tough stuff.

Piggies are no more. Thank God for that. Lauren has balls, love that woman.

The clip from the men's show looks good. Definitely a real difference in how the two camps work. The men are more clinical and have stuff up and running but the women are getting there slowly and I think long term the women will do better. They just need to get more organised.