Ok, I write it here but I am not happy about it...so please feel free to twist it, dismantle and reassemble if needed. I just need to switch this laptop off and let it go (no! -no Frozen reference, pure coincidence. But now I have started singing it in my brain or whatever is left of it! ;-) darn it!)
Post mission debriefing reporting, Cpt James and Major Beck
“Sit down, Captain. Let’s crack on with these notes, so that you can go back to your men and a shower”
“Sir”
“I understand things didn’t quite go as planned. “
“No, Sir, we would have never expected that level of risk involved in the picking up of a civilian, to be honest I felt very close to losing one of my best soldiers, today”
“Start from the beginning, please”
“We started the operation as planned, but when the ASA entered the building they realized fairly quickly that it was empty, target was not there, which makes me think our intelligence must have been corrupted in some way. I recommend we investigate any potential source of leak, asap.
I was in the house with Private Dawes and the rest of the team was surveilling the perimeter when we were radio-informed that the girl was nearby, but that her behavior was suspicious, and the locals were nervous. We quickly reached an open space, like a square, at the back of the village, where we saw her slowly walking towards with a terrorized expression on her face. I knew straight away what was going on.
I ordered everybody to stand town and take cover, but in the meantime we needed to get her to stop moving, and get a visual of what she had strapped under her abaya. Quaseem translated for us, and as soon as she lifted her arms we saw that it was a suicide vest.
<span class="italic">Suicide is a fucking good euphemism, whoever strapped it to that girl clearly didn’t want to commit suicide himself. Bloody bastard. I never thought someone would get that low! Resorting to blow up a child! Makes my blood foam up. Well, not that forcing her in marriage at 11 would be much more elegant. But I must not think about it now. Focus. Keep your distance, James.</span>
There was lots of noise and shouting around, I was myself screaming for her to stop moving, but Dawes had the instinctive reaction to go closer and calm her, as she was starting to tremble and in that situation any movement can trigger the explosion. I reckon she may have had a 6 to 10 lbs of plastic in the vest, enough to blow up anything in at least a 10m radius around her.”
“Wait a minute, James, did you not order everybody to keep cover?”
“I did, Sir, and the men were forming a circle all around the square, taking aim and scrambling up all signals to prevent the Talibans to operate the detonator remotely. Quaseem confirmed from the radio that the insurgents were around 400m away and trying to get the vest to explode. We asked for bomb disposals straight away, and we were informed that it’d be a 5’ wait, but clearly 5’ is a very long time for a child to stand still in the middle of a square with dozens of shooters around you”
I wish I had thought about this myself sooner, instead of letting Dawes approach her. Stupid!
“Sorry, Captain, did Dawes then contravene an order?”
<span class="italic">Yes, and it’s not the first time. God I don’t know what to do with that girl, she’s driving me nuts. Most of the other guys have recognized my authority and just follow orders through, but this one is thinking for herself most of the time.</span>
“She did, Sir, but in insight it was the only way to keep the girl still, she explained it whilst she went to approach it and I reckon she did it in the intent of protecting not just the girl but the rest of the unit. I don’t know exactly what she told Bashira, we could not hear from the distance, but it was effective as she managed to keep still.
Let me be clear, Major: Private Dawes is a difficult one to manage, you’ve seen her behavior when we had the emergency at the mountain pass, with Smurf. She seems to have a brain and bring it with her, most of the time. I confess I can’t quite make her up, yet. At some point I thought she was simply reckless, and too young to understand enough the risks she was taking. But plenty of my troops are that young, and none of them has ever shown the same amount of courage under pressure.
<span class="italic">I wonder if I would have ever accepted such a blatant disobedience of my orders from any of the lads, though. What is it? Is it because she’s a female. Or just because she can justify her disobedience with the right instincts?</span>
In this particular case, she put her life at risk to help managing a very risky situation. I am ready to give her a proper reprimand, if you think that’s appropriate and we should set an example to the rest of the troop. But to be frank, I think she already gave all of them a positive example.”
“I see, Captain. Let me think about it and give it appropriate consideration. Has her behavior in the rest of the operation been professional?”
“Yes, Sir. As soon as the girl was apprehended and carried away by the ASA forces, the vest detonated and Dawes had just about time to come back to a safe distance not to be injured.
<span class="italic">That’s also when I started breathing again. Gosh it felt like when I was looking at her going up that winch on the pass. Combat is combat, but I am not sure I ever felt that tense, before working with Dawes! It’s normal to see everything in slow motion and just perceive things differently, in these situations. But I am used to the rush of adrenaline, to the anger, to the aggressivity. I can’t quite understand what’s different, but there is a difference this time around…</span>
We were all covered in dust and rubble from the explosion, but as soon as the cloud of dust eased she checked on us, individually, to ensure we were not injured. She checked on me, first, as I was the one closest to the explosion, and I was grazed by an object near my eye.
<span class="italic">My eye... Her eyes…green…Oh for God’s sake! Stop thinking about her eyes, Charles. Stop. Not sure I can. She was so beautiful, covered in dust, abashed and still shaken, but with such a beautiful look in her eyes. Thoughtful and deep. She drives me nuts, that Dawes. I am not even sure what we talked about, now that I think about it. I was so relieved she was alive and well, that I forgot to give her the bollocking she deserved. God, yes, she accused me to be heartless. And I played the hard captain. Of course. I must be hard and stern and keep her under control. She can’t do any of that shit again, or she’ll give me a heart attack. That would prove how heartless I am, really! What the fuck is going on in my head? Stop it!</span>