X FACTOR - It's BIG BAND week! And we've got Mickey Bubbles..sort of...

[Raahh]

Just look at this song list

Andrea Faustini
Summertime (by Ella Fitzgerald)

Lauren Platt
Smile (by Nat King Cole)

Only The Young
I Wanna Be Like You (From The Jungle Book)

Stereo Kicks
Still TBC!

Ben Haenow
Cry Me A River (by Michael Buble)

Fleur East
Bang Bang (byJessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj)

Jay James
Empire State of Mind/New York New York medley (by Alicia Keys/Frank Sinatra)

Stevi Ritchie
Mambo Number 5/ She Bangs medley (by Lou Bega/Ricky Martin)

I'm sure an orchestra might be involved somewhere, but most of this list is frankly rubbish. Twice.
Someone got 'Bang' and 'Band' mixed up.
The best one there is 'TBC'

They are all going to be drowned out by the brass section, aren't they?

See you later.

Bring nibbles.

Right, I've just come home and turned TV on, WTAF is Stevi doing? Trying to twerk?!!!
dare I ask have I missed much?

BOF- he did. Which is a worry.

Aww he looked so pleased with the first part if what Louis said. Then Louis put the boot in.

Loved the hideous photo of stevi they put up behind him.

Is mel doing a bad version if a glasgow accent?

He is a perv

Oh dear.

Louie showing Cheryl how to do a backhanded compliment.

I bet he ends up as a TV personality, like Rylan did as he's got a v endearing personality.

Britain doesn't support the underdog- we just like to take the piss.

Simon wont be Stevi's best mate anymore if he actually wins!

I'm really sad. i am sad for myself that I am watching this.
I would also like to add that Stevi will in all likelihood have named his manparts. Possibly 'Freddie'. Or 'Jon Bon'.

Simon is right. That was one of the worst performances ever. It was absolutely dire.

Chico he ain't.

Even Simon can't lie. This is simon wanting to push him out now, joke has gone on too long.

Stevi to win - seriously...

Clunt would call his the captain. Cos you know the navy

I'd prefer him to stay this week than Clunt

You still going to choose melty in a gun to the head situation, noël?

Yy. He calls his penis 'King Richard'

Stiffi stevi - times up. Oh for a double elimination with him and Creepy clunty. In my dreams eh?

Simon would probably make more money from a crap "stevi sings funny songs" album than he would from clunt crooning

If he stays i want him to sing ernie next week

Terrible stuff

I think Stevi thinks Stevi is the dogs bollocks

I would not describe that as joy, cadburies. If I unwrapped that I'd be horrified.

They want Fleur to win. I think someone has lost Leona Lewis, possibly in transit. We need another singer like her before someone notices.