X FACTOR - It's BIG BAND week! And we've got Mickey Bubbles..sort of...

[Raahh]

Just look at this song list

Andrea Faustini
Summertime (by Ella Fitzgerald)

Lauren Platt
Smile (by Nat King Cole)

Only The Young
I Wanna Be Like You (From The Jungle Book)

Stereo Kicks
Still TBC!

Ben Haenow
Cry Me A River (by Michael Buble)

Fleur East
Bang Bang (byJessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj)

Jay James
Empire State of Mind/New York New York medley (by Alicia Keys/Frank Sinatra)

Stevi Ritchie
Mambo Number 5/ She Bangs medley (by Lou Bega/Ricky Martin)

I'm sure an orchestra might be involved somewhere, but most of this list is frankly rubbish. Twice.
Someone got 'Bang' and 'Band' mixed up.
The best one there is 'TBC'

They are all going to be drowned out by the brass section, aren't they?

See you later.

Bring nibbles.

I think they are trying to make Stevie look manly...like The Dude...

He's been in the West End! The west end of where, though?

I'd have put him a decade older.

kill me now, i can't take anymore

I'm 34.

This is beyond awful.

He sounds like Mr Bean

He DOES Fanjo. That upper lip. urgh.

Then the put him on in purple sequins amd ruin the fake image by exposing the real one.

Really really dire

Take it all back. This is shit.

Clunt and Stevi to go home.

SEAMLESS mash up there
Stevi is so shit those women basically have to show us their vag, is that it?

There are no words!

Mel looks traumatised

I bet Stevi tries really hard in bed...

Wagner , where are you? We need you back with your bongos.

Is it still going?!

I suspect this is the end of the road for melty.

Is he on longer than everyone else?

I think Wanger did this better...

i think i might sue for mental suffering

He's got to go this week surely

oh dear.

OTY might actually be safe, despite Louis's best effort to fuck them over.

Oh man, I actually had to mute the TV. Last two weeks he almost did a passable impression of a singer, that was like someone passing a rhino out of their arse

I'm cringing so hard for him right now.