X FACTOR 1/11- It's HALLOWE'EN week! And instant evictions. Be very afraid.

[fRaahhnkenstein]

I am out tonight

My sister is having a Hallowe'en party. I don't really want to go. but the dc do, so I will just have to suck it up. And drink.

Here is the the extremely dubious, yet entirely predictable, song list.

Tonight’s X Factor 2014 songlist – Week 4
Andrea Faustini
Relight My Fire (by Take That)

Jack Walton
Bleeding Love (by Leona Lewis)

Paul Akister
Bat Out Of Hell (by Meatloaf)

Lauren Platt
Dark Horse (by Katy Perry)

Lola Saunders
Crazy (by Gnarls Barkley)

Only The Young
The Monster Mash (by Bobby Pickett)

Stereo Kicks
Everybody (by Backstreet Boys)

Ben Haenow
Highway to Hell (by AC/DC)

Fleur East
Thriller (by Michael Jackson)

Jay James
Mad World (by Tears For Fears)

Stevi Ritchie
Music of The Night (from Phantom of The Opera)

I feel most sorry for OTY- as clearly Louis hates them. Why is he turning them into a shit novelty act, poor kids?

Stevi- well there are no words.

Clunt must go. Really, he must.

At least I will be able to come home and whizz through the whole thing is 5 minutes. But I will miss y'all.

Oh- and there will be an instant eviction of an act tonight- as Simon was pissed off at how rubbish the sing -off was last week. not at all planned all along, oh no

Isn't he called Clunt cos he's a cunt, and a bit like James Blunt?

TWO quid to ride, come on now guyzangalz

He so does Squoosh

I'm still trying to think of more 'Nan' songs for Squoosh. Have we had Stairlift to Heaven?

The drummer looks so so thrilled to be there.

This is making bat out of hell guy look cheerful.

Danny is a bit of a tit but I'd pick him over the other pair.

Did anyone else hear the "backing track" dip just then???

Love Stairlift To Heaven

Love me tena (lady).

Ps, i think the only thing Matt Cardle is pulling now is Chris Maloneys nan. Its certainly not record sales. Shame as he wasnt a bad act.

And cue the album advert zzzz.

Cataracts of My Tears

Just read this on Twitter and nodded and perhaps giggled.

'Stevi Ritchie is like a terminally ill child who has been allowed to go on the X-Factor as one of Noel's Christmas Presents.'

Funeral dirge version of 'You're the One That I Want' on the Chanel No.5 ad. Jeez.

When You're In Love With An Elderly Woman

Oh, we've had Stairlift. We had Stannah Stairlift to Heaven

New Hip to Be Square

SirNoel

You could have backdoor nan by howlin' wolf.

I think we could subtitle the album "Varicose Artists".

My favourite Nan songs are definitely the ones that imply an incestuous relationship.

Nan with the monkey

She walks like me Nana