Back to the subject of music, I have become addicted to the soundtrack too. I love Youth, Strong, Stay, People Help the People and also really love a few by Agnes Obel, especially Riverside, Dorian and Fuel to Fire. Phew! Such a fantastic soundtrack though and not just because it's connected to CJ. I quite often get into new music by hearing them on tv, usually though it's just the odd one, not the entire soundtrack! (And I must confess when I'm at work with my headphones in and it's a particularly dull day, some of the songs do bring images of CJ into my mind and that always gets me through).
I also commented a couple of days ago about the feelings that had been stirred up inside me and I was very, very grateful to those who replied that they felt exactly the same. It made me feel so much better about myself and it's great to know there's this little (or possibly quite big) support network out there.
Already I've started to make little changes in my life. I've gone from being a bit of a technophobe to being able to download music, photos, got myself a twitter account...that's as far as it goes but I've got it! There's a more senior position on the horizon at work that I wasn't going to bother applying for, but have given myself a bit of a shake and decided to give it a go. What have I got to lose?
The biggest thing is the feelings about my relationship. I've realised they were there before but this series has brought them out. I know they are feelings that I need to address and I will, very soon. When DH and I met all those years ago, I do remember having a major crush on him and thinking that he would never go for a girl like me (from different backgrounds, he's a few years older, we just didn't mix in the same circles at all). It reminded me that the spark we had got us through all of that and against the odds and to our respective groups of friends annoyance, we stayed together and eventually married and had our son. Work, juggling my career, him becoming the main carer for DS after he was born,life in general has just clouded our relationship - that is the one we had pre marriage and kids. We both need to work on it but I honestly think OG and the whole love story between MD and CJ has given me the kick up the arse I needed to initiate such change.
In the meantime, I continue to burn the toast on an almost daily basis while reading this thread, I selfishly dragged my son to the shops in the pouring rain on his inset day ("Mummy, can we just stay in and play lego?") to purchase the dvd, I've made it VERY clear that I will be more than a little disappointed if one of the younger guys at work doesn't make me something CJ related for Xmas and I have, for the first time ever- and inspired by icemist, made my own calendar (it's fab, I might even consider doing it for family for Xmas, but not of CJ of course, no, he's mine).
Sorry to ramble again, but I need to get these things off my chest every few days. Am still loving reading this thread too. Hope it carries on. Not sure I can handle coming to terms with the loss of this as well as OG!