Master chef the Professionals. Marcus, come and criticise our suveè.

[Fuckerysmuckeryboilsnspornery]

A week to go till we can snuggle down under a warm blanquette of jus.
What will this season fig and samphire be?

Shakin' bake innit

I like him.

Hi Marcus!

Chantelle needs to back off.

Good test I thought.

Invention test: bacon jelly with cinnamon no doubt

Ooooh i love the way he says 'rump' and 'rack'.

Yes Marcus show us your warm rack

Ahem, I was here first so back off.
Hope his lamb is actually cooked.

There is a fine line between fine dining and salmonella fuckery

Don't you think Marcus comes across a bit 'psychopath trying to be normal'?

Must have been a BIG lamb delivery.
It's like Babe

Marcus is mine. I've defended him when people say 'oh he's not as nice as that Roux fella who looks like a tearful loris'.

Still a touch too pink raw fir me.

Katherine needs to be mainlined some confidence stat.

There's been a spate of rustling up our end. So, bbc, got anything to say?
Marcus's voice is luffly. But lost my heart at water bath. That's for feet and babies.

I see him as a proud stag, ready to gore you when your back is turned.

Is there such a thing as a fast loris

Ha, yes a little bit Fence, I think I spotted a vein throbbing on his temple from the strain of smiling benignly.

Not Marcus, shaking Stevens.
On delay, come on Katherine.

Yes come on Katherine, you are all we've got woman!

Oh

Aaron looks like a meerkat.

Sunday dinner three ways

Go Katherine, you pretend serial killer!

Evening. I'm late for the sous vide party tonight.

Lamb is quite dull really. Not sure why so many people think it's the thing to cook on masterchef.

Marcus' explanation of his lamb dish makes me want to bill him for a part-hour of analysing his childhood ishoos.

The ,Aw Marcus was very nice to her actually. That looked like lovely food