X FACTOR- Saturday 11/10- It's the start of the LIVE SHOWS! (warning Spoilers)

[Raahh]

Ok- I know it is Friday, but with MN going off-line tomorrow until 2pm-ish, I might forget.

So- It's the start of the live shows and here are the songs they are supposedly singing

X Factor 2014 songlist – Week 1
Not performance order!

Andrea Faustini (Pugsy)
Earth Song

Jake Quickenden (DeadBro)
She’s The One

Paul Akister (Flobbie)
Ghost

Chloe Jasmine (Fakey)
Toxic

Lauren Platt was she Shoey?
Happy

Stephanie Nala Can't remember what we called her...
Everything I Own

Blonde Electra (annoying Canadian pair)
Kids In America

Boyband (Should be called MastrB8 )
Roar

Only The Young (Too dull for a NN)
Jailhouse Rock/Twist n Shout

Ben Haenow (The growly one with the chin hair)
Bridge Over Troubled Water

Fleur East (hairbear)
All About That Bass

Jay James (Clunt)
Changing

Nicknames subject to change, as I'm not even sure I have remembered them all correctly).

Imagine actually voting though?

I won't be here next week either as i'll be in new york lets out a little scream of excitement

Night everyone, see you all tomorrow. I'm off to get my hamster out.

Love Pugsy, my favourite to win!

New York? Hmph. Hope your grief doesn't stop you from having a tolerably good time.

I wonder who does actually vote? Family and friends, obv but who else?

Idiots, Awks

I'm an old woman so haven't got a smart phone and haven't read all the comments, but most of them. You lot are so critical about everyone(!) and please leave little Lauren alone - she's got an amazing voice.....mind I agree with lots of the comments, especially about Chloe J - although I think she's more of a jazz singer. People were asking about the bad press she got - you probably all know by now, but apparently she auditioned for X Factor in 2006 and didn't appear to have a posh voice - that's it I think. Maybe they were different judges or we'd have got the "haven't I seen you before" bit.

SO agree with all the fake stuff - the shock and OMG of the wild cards, with the camera crew and family all lined up - do they think we're daft or something.

Hated Mel B tonight - was just beginning to find her ok as well - yes the dress was a big mistake and she was so aggressive - is she still trying to be "scary" - but mostly I hated her bragging at Pugsy and telling him he was the winner - what does that say to her other contestants.

And how crass was Louie's comment "he/she has the likeability factor which you don't have Simon.........." Perlease if you can't do better than that Louie don't bother. Does anyone know what Cheryl said to Simon after that comment - it was only one word I think.

I reckon Cheryl and Simon agreed she'd pick "barechestman" (forgot his name......) those 2 are in cahoots with each other and she can get away with saying anything to him. I heard him say on a U Tube clip "I do adore her...." and that's very obvious. Mind I like her too - but those hair extensions are so dated - would love to see her with a short hair cut, and yes agree about the eyes.

Oh and I was a teenager in the 1960s and chicks was a very cool word then - WTF is Simon on about?

Well my comments are long and probably a bit boring, but that's just me. Oh and I agree Stereo Klicks is that right? is a shite name. Loved the alternatives dicks pricks etc.

I think Andrea will win but I just don't get it - I can't see why everyone thinks he so wonderful. He seems like a really nice bloke though, sort of genuinely shocked that he is so much appreciated.

Ah well - I'll look out for you lot again tomorrow night.

Maryz hello - think we've met on other threads...........loved your DD's comment "she's a fucking weirdo.........." said like only a teenager could say it.......

Missed you all tonight!

Marking place for tomorrow.

Why did Dermott look so short tonight??

He did look quite short- maybe the contestants are all super tall this year (or he used to wear stacked heels?)

Should I do a results thread, you never know hoe animated we might get over the group MIMED opening song

Oh how sad that I am being ignored cus I'm old!! I'll leave you all to your pithy clever comments.................

Sorry there have only been 2 posts since I posted but one of them was Raahh who I think is the "top banana" of the group so I'll just creep away to my rocking chair......!!

NanaNina- nothing wrong with being old. Your analysis of the show is 'spot' on- very refreshing- some people could learn from you.

I still think the Italian man is the ONLY one who can sing well and has passion, (sorry) just my opinion.

Top banana ? i start the threads, if no-one else does. it just happens that way.

Nana- i didn't 'see' your post, I glanced at the last one, because I was looking to see how many posts there were and if we would need a new thread. I'm sorry if you feel slighted, it wasn't intentional. Certainly not ignoring you for being 'old'.

Anyway, i need to do the ironing, or I won't be watching anything tonight.

To address NanaNina's post:

a) I think Lauren was the only one who really escaped our bile because she was acknowledged to be pretty good.

b) We are mean, yes. This is not an appreciation thread- it's been running for several years now, and we have always been pretty horrible about everyone. We mostly despise the show, and probably despise ourselves more for watching it. We have fun though, and the shared bitterness in our souls has created a kind of hysterical bonding over time.

c) Some of us are old.

d) The thread tends to taper off after the show finishes, as it's more of a live blogging thing where we generally compete to be as snarky as possible in real time. Posts made after the show ends often aren't seen unless people scroll down their Threads I'm On. If you've made a long post at the end, you do run the risk of casting your pearls before swine, which is fundamentally what most of us are.

Once you've understood the basics I've just outlined, you'll probably enjoy it, so feel free to join in with the next one .

I for one would be v v disappointed in Mumsnet if there was an X Factor appreciation thread.

I'm not mean, I'm a nice person who has been trapped here against her will. I weep when I think how hurt the acts would be if they could read these awful messages.

I'm here for the first time, specifically to have somewhere to vent my bile. I was especially pleased to find we could be mean about the kids.

Just think though, it's so nice when we have something positive to say!

Missed everyone last night, looking forward to tonight. I loved Pugsy, liked the boring foursome, and everyone else was 'meh' or annoyed me. Hope girl jedward go tonight.

Raahh, at least you have your own xfactor nickname now! Henceforth known only as topbanana.

Not as memorable as Deadbro, but still good.

Topbanana, I agree, new thread.

I'm young (ish) and snarky.

Should we choose a snarky post of the night

Although I don't feel like writing out TopBanana, so would have to shorten it to TB. That doesn't seem so nice.