X FACTOR- Saturday 11/10- It's the start of the LIVE SHOWS! (warning Spoilers)

[Raahh]

Ok- I know it is Friday, but with MN going off-line tomorrow until 2pm-ish, I might forget.

So- It's the start of the live shows and here are the songs they are supposedly singing

X Factor 2014 songlist – Week 1
Not performance order!

Andrea Faustini (Pugsy)
Earth Song

Jake Quickenden (DeadBro)
She’s The One

Paul Akister (Flobbie)
Ghost

Chloe Jasmine (Fakey)
Toxic

Lauren Platt was she Shoey?
Happy

Stephanie Nala Can't remember what we called her...
Everything I Own

Blonde Electra (annoying Canadian pair)
Kids In America

Boyband (Should be called MastrB8 )
Roar

Only The Young (Too dull for a NN)
Jailhouse Rock/Twist n Shout

Ben Haenow (The growly one with the chin hair)
Bridge Over Troubled Water

Fleur East (hairbear)
All About That Bass

Jay James (Clunt)
Changing

Nicknames subject to change, as I'm not even sure I have remembered them all correctly).

What the hell is she doing on that stage?

I think Fleur has been stitched up like a kipper. This song really does her no favours.

she can't sing, dance or perform. This is as dull as dishwater. But her figure is amazing.

Dh has just said "she's got no tits whatsoever". I am dying with laughter now as obv no one told her it was a titty comp.

Booty? Do me a favour. A skiffle group could use her as percussion.

The cat is doing that thing cats do where they stare at something on the ceiling and you can't see what it is. Which is more interesting than this performance.

Why is she singing about being fat? This makes less sense than a bunch of teenage boys singing about kissing girls and liking it.

DS1 is telling me off for watching this "mind numbing shit!"

Red plows are rare beasts. They're possibly endangered.

This is Fleur The Beur. With the abs that contrast with her rice pudding demographic

And THAT ^ is the comment that won Bof the Internet today

Did she just call her Flo?

Flooo? Who's Floo?

Wow Fleur, she is foxy, she can dance and wow, she can SING!!!

Well, she is singing about having boobs, Awks, so I guess it would be nice if she had what she was selling there.

Boys like a little more booty to hold at night...

And there was me embracing my body for what it is, whilst enjoying a (mainly) healthy lifestyle and attitude to exercise. Thanks for telling me how it really is, oh twenty year old wise woman!

Aargh

She came from the gym, Cheryl. HTH.

she'ss in the front line because everyone else (minus andrea)
is so so dire

Who the hell wears a hat indoors?

Cal- we will have a whip round for the endangered red plows.

I know dillite think she's come straight from a wedding

Shitsinger. How I miss thee.

A bit.

oooooh my babies, my babies. Do Not Be Mean.

Several of my students wear hats indoors. Even in a packed lecture theatre that's roasting.

Fleur is very pretty though. Shame about the lack of care for the poor red plows.

Now, if they break out some pink pleather we'll have to tweet the WWF. Those pink plows are rarer than Siberian tigers.