X-FACTOR- Yes, it IS Friday- but tonight at 9pm - it's the start of BOOTCAMP.

[Raahh]

It doesn't feel like a week since X Factor was last on, does it? ...probably because it isn't.

So, though we haven't recovered from Sunday- here is the first BOOTCAMP!

Tonight, Cheryl is choosing her final act- she has the girl's category. And no, you're right, we haven't been told that yet. It's like a whole section of the process has been mysteriously ditched.

Expect musical chairs, crying, and much wailing about making decisions.

Here's the song list

LOLA SAUNDERS
Cece Peniston – Finally

CHLOE JASMINE
Backstreet Boys – I Want it That Way

SHANAY HOLMES
Emeli Sande – Read All About It

STEPHANIE NALA
Chris Isaak – Wicked Game

ORLA KEOGH
S.O.S. Band – Just Be Good to Me

MONICA MICHAEL
Olly Murs – Troublemaker

KAYLEIGH MANNERS
The Lumineers – Ho Hey

TEN SENAH
Beyonce – Love on Top

EMILY MIDDLEMAS
Ellie Goulding- Anything Could Happen

CHLOE O’GORMAN
Whitney Houston – I didn’t know my own strength

LAUREN PLATT
Michael Jackson – Man in the Mirror

KERRIANNE COVELL
Sara Bareilles – Gravity

Sadly, Chezza has avoided being Raign's mentor. Which would have been fun.

See y'all tonight.

9pm

Oh yes. Hundreds of people all murdering bridge over troubled water. They should have gone back to the show's roots.

XFactor on a Friday night feels weird.

It's like that feeling that something's not quite right you get some days then get home and realise its because you'd put your bra on inside out.

It's her who thinks she's Marilyn Monroe.

I used to like them going off to bit of the gardens of the 'Big house' bootcamp was in to practice.

Were they given a choice of shit songs for boot camp?

Is she up the duff?

This one is worse than the other one, even.

Oh dear, no. Just no. The song is awful too.

Awful...

She does look like she's expecting.

That woman's a bit of twonk and is doing an impression of a seal in a gold lamè dress

Posh Margi irritates me.

They are just not showing anyone we haven't already seen

They all get a seat. It's meaningless until musical chairs starts.

Oh goody, another year another pregnancy revelation.

Is there something wrong with my hearing tonight or are they all badly out of tune?

Actually, this one may be new.

And this is showing how much auto-correct they got in the ARENA

I think I need to crack open some posh cidre.

Lidl Leona.

The audience is collectively deaf, right?

It's unflattering dressed all round. And horrible shiny material.

Clever, turn up in pleather so you may as well stay.

Don't like this format. And posh girl shouldn't have worn that dress with that belly.

Tears- CHECK!

Ow my ears.

She was better.