X-FACTOR- Yes, it IS Friday- but tonight at 9pm - it's the start of BOOTCAMP.

[Raahh]

It doesn't feel like a week since X Factor was last on, does it? ...probably because it isn't.

So, though we haven't recovered from Sunday- here is the first BOOTCAMP!

Tonight, Cheryl is choosing her final act- she has the girl's category. And no, you're right, we haven't been told that yet. It's like a whole section of the process has been mysteriously ditched.

Expect musical chairs, crying, and much wailing about making decisions.

Here's the song list

LOLA SAUNDERS
Cece Peniston – Finally

CHLOE JASMINE
Backstreet Boys – I Want it That Way

SHANAY HOLMES
Emeli Sande – Read All About It

STEPHANIE NALA
Chris Isaak – Wicked Game

ORLA KEOGH
S.O.S. Band – Just Be Good to Me

MONICA MICHAEL
Olly Murs – Troublemaker

KAYLEIGH MANNERS
The Lumineers – Ho Hey

TEN SENAH
Beyonce – Love on Top

EMILY MIDDLEMAS
Ellie Goulding- Anything Could Happen

CHLOE O’GORMAN
Whitney Houston – I didn’t know my own strength

LAUREN PLATT
Michael Jackson – Man in the Mirror

KERRIANNE COVELL
Sara Bareilles – Gravity

Sadly, Chezza has avoided being Raign's mentor. Which would have been fun.

See y'all tonight.

9pm

Simon's skull gets bigger while his torso shrinks.

We have chairs though.

X Factor isn't like it was in the old days...

I'm already confused

This is possibly the worst edited programme I've ever seen.

It's like they're determined to make it as unwatchable as possible.

Thingy is back- Brian Friedman? Shit stylist/dance expert extraordinaire.

He will be out for blood

So we saw lots of people in rooms
Then we saw lots of the same people in arenas, and some different, crap people
Now all the crap people have gone and we are seeing the same people on chairs

Do I have that right?

Arrrrgh MY EYES!

Bloody hell! She has for awful trainers on again!

The fish sob story is really flimsy.

She likes her pleated granny skirts.

Well we know she is going through to live shows purely so she can be restyled

How many times do we need to be reminded that she's a fishmonger and really, really hates her job?

Fish woman is definitely being groomed so that her makeover will be a wow moment.

Give it sole, laura.

That skirt is a crime against all that is holy.

Didn't they do this bollocks last year then basically just find more chairs?

The Pleated Skirt Strikes the Fishmonger II

I prefer the old bootcamps. She's far too nervous.

Surely the stylists can't make her look any worse?

I liked the old style boot camp

The stylists will have this one in pleather very quickly indeed.

This is awful.

She needs to stand still.

Ouch my ears.

How can they even decide if someone should be sent through until they've watched all the acts??

He skirt is hideous. And really unflattering.