Breaking up with the jones!

[pedilia]

Anyone watching??

I would have liked to have seen the court case actually.
The father behaved like a twat. He just couldn't overcome his own bitterness to see the real needs of his children.
A truly scary and heartbreaking program.
I would like to see a follow up to see if things are still following the courts plan.

because of my own situation people always assume that i am anti fathers in these cases and thats just not the case. i beleive that unles sthey prove oterwise every father has the right to see his child.

you said that she was probably the most malevolent because she was more intelectualy competant.....what did she do that was wrong?

she admitted to the affair..i didn't agree with how she went about the relationship breakdown but i am sure she isnt the only womman in theworld to try and force a situation out of cowardice. she wanted it to end but wasn't brave enough to do it herself.

she moved to be near her family and freinds..again who wouldn't?

he was deliberatly setting out to casue her harm. She did what she considered best for her and the children adn if he was upset by that as a consequence then hey ho..thats life.

I thik that preventing someone from getting electricity is far more evil than moving somewhere cheaper!

'I thik that preventing someone from getting electricity is far more evil than moving somewhere cheaper!'

And leaving your kids to live off the taxpayer out of spite for your spouse. Then laughing about her situation on camera and making statements about single mums - how they do it so they won't have to work and get benefits.

Oh, yes, so much fun to live off £47/week b/c your husband refuses to pay maintenance.

And to let your family decide for you who you're going to like/marry, etc.

And calling Social Services to harrass your ex rather than talk to her.

And travelling hundreds of miles to spy on your ex.

And taking your kids and admitting on camera that you're using it as an excuse to abduct them.

None of that is cunning, manipulative or evil, I guess.

exaclty expat. what she did may not have been ideal but i don't think she did it out of malice...he however did.

She was equally upset b/c he wasn't helping her out and when he took the kids and didn't give them back.

But she NEVER resorted to crap like he pulled. She also never denied him access even when she was having to rely on friends to pay her power bill.

He hadn't even wanted her to take any of the furniture in their marital home!

When he took her kids and then decided not to give them back, she went thru the court system.

How about not paying maintenance on YOUR kids and leaving the taxpayer to foot the bill out of nothing but spite?

That's a result of his being upset?

No, that's him using bullying, control and manipulation to try to force her hand rather than going to Legal Aid and trying to get mediation, counselling, etc.

Sorry, but that's where I lost sympathy for him.

For ANY parent who doesn't pay maintenance and leaves me to pick up the tab.

couldn't agree more expat, I have an ex exactly like him did the same things and will not pay a penny.

I support my children through bloody hard work and am lucky that I do not have to rely on benefits, no thanks to that tosser!

asi have stated yes he clealry loves his kids dearly but his anger and bitterness towards his XW over rides that.

his actions were not spurred out of greif at losing his kids they were made from anger towards her.

none of the things she did were harmfull to the kids...his were.

There was one very telling moment shortly after he took the kids... he was asked by the reporter if he would be telling his wife and he said "No, of course not, its nothing to do with her and I have no interest in her opinion"
That rather sums it up doesn't it.... this is the mother of his children he is referring to....!

thats justthe thing though- she didn't dispute it..she was being very reasonable about the situation. but that was 1 month..what about the other months where he said he was happy for her to live off nothing so that she would return the kids.

what he was saying is that she loves her children so much that she would rather give them to their father sashe cannot support them! that to me sounds like a very loving mother. he on the other hand was deliberatly allowing for his children to go without food or heating simply to prove a point.

he is pathetic.

Reading this and just wanted to say Hi Dinosaur and send you a big hug.

Hope things are ok - haven't been on here much of late but from what you say, and maybe I am reading something into nothing, you are having a bit of a pisser of a time.

Big hug to you.

Twinkie x

no i think its far more harmfull (and given a few minutes i am sure i can get some research to back me up) for a child to be living in a home where the two parents do not wish to be together, where they are constantly arguing or there is tension.

the marriage broke down. what was she meant to do? rent the house next to her MIL?

Im sorry but in an idea world people who had kids would live happily ever after but it just doesnthappen like that. when a marriage fails one parent has to take the main share of parental responsibilty.
he only had about 10% left amd he still couldn't manage it

Yep we are fine.

DH is lovely but spending far too much time working at the moment. DD is back from XA's in about an hour and DS is in the front room watching Come Outside (he is addicted I have every episode on Sky+) and I have spent the afternoon trying to get myself a job!!!

Glad your problems are only hypothetical and I was being stupid. Hows the DSs?

the article is saying exactly what i am...that it is sometimes just as, if not more so, to remain together if the parents are clealry not happy.

-All in all, the damage done by failed marriages seems to be cumulative. Witnessing a lot of crockery flying or tense atmospheres is jolly bad for children, putting them at much greater risk of disharmonious relationships themselves. -

of course it is.
but as i said in an ideal world......

the break up of a relationship is bound to have an effect on any child but its hwo we as adults deal with that break up that will decide just how traumatic it is going to be.

The father would oif course been upset but he handled the situation in an imature and irresponsible way that would have been very damaging to his children.

How did he disappear from their lives? Did she forbid him from seeing them entirely? Did she go to court to stop his seeing them?

No, she never did that, even when he was paying nothing.

He was contributing NOTHING to their support and he was working out of pure spite, he said so MANY times, that he wasn't paying b/c he didn't want to fund her 'lifestyle'.

As for the council tax, um, last I checked, they're willing to let you make a payment plan w/them, especially if you explain you have to pay child maintenance.

He can apply for Working Tax Credit if he's that low income and they'll factor in the maintenance he pays into his award.

Not going to college Dino - am going back to work hopefully 2 days a week - have interview next fri for Law Firm so keep your fingers crossed for me.

Have a friend who works at your place who is having an ask around for me to so if you see me in the corridor pinch me before I shout DINOSAUR won't you!!

This thread is too close to home for me as all you guys who were round an age ago will know - in my experience it is mostly the man who turns into a bitter guttersnip but I am sure women do too - just last night rang bells about what happened between me and the XA and all the pain that I went through.