Breaking up with the jones!

[pedilia]

Anyone watching??

All term holidays he got them. She never, ever denied him access, even when he wasn't paying her a penny and she had to ask friends and family for money to pay the power bill, whilst he drank wine w/his brother in the kitchen and laughed about how she had to life off £47/week and then drove round and told the cameras about how she became a single mum so she didn't have to work and get benefits.

Twonk.

There's something strangely compelling about watching these kind of programmes. My DH always moans 'are we watching this depressing crap all night then?'

Hated the way they implied she fed them the wrong food and that they smelt a bit and needed cleaned up and haircuts.Awful awful people

Then fed them McDonald's and Fruit Shoots.

I also feel like I've been watching a different programme too. I actually felt really sad for the father - it must be heart-wrenching to obly have access to your own children on an arranged basis. Yes, he was feeble, but he was clearly very hurt as well.
Obviously his wife has the right to live wherever she wants (to a degree) but that doesn't mean that choosing to return to Edinburgh wasn't a means of hurting him.
I just think how hurt angry upset and gut-wrenchingly bereft I would be if dh was to whick the kids off so far away.

I missed the macdonalds and fruit shoots

Yes, but to then go and leave those kids to rely on the taxpayer, freezing in some damp flat whilst you laugh about it w/your mother and brother and then abduct them?

He was every bit as manipulative and bullying and controlling as she was.

backontrack- Yes it must be heart wrenching but does that mean it is ok to make feeble reports to SS and move the kids without even having the decency to inform the Mum.

I moved 60 miles away from my ex after we split and he makes minimal efoort to see his son, he pays nothing and phoned SS out of spite. SS did not even visit me they spoke to my HV and were more than happy.

People need to grow up especially where there children are concerned, F4J have a lot to answer for.

Found myself watching this with abject horror!

In the beginning I hated her - thought she was evil and wanted those children as far away from her as possible but as the programme went on I have to say I started feeling that the dad was no better if not worse!!

All this crap about not paying for his children because she'll only use it to go out etc... don't men realise that if you have £200 a week and then get £50 of them you are not going to earmark that £50 and make sure it is that one that you take down the pub to blow on peach schnapps!! The poor woman was nearly destitute at the end.

He was just one weak pathetic saddo who didn't have the courage or the brains to see that what he was doing was hurting his kids soooo badly. They both were in one respect though - talking about each others failings infront of the those poor boys!

As for her returning to scotland - well I would have if thats where I was from and my friends and family was there - afterall his family didn't really make her that welcome when they were together let alone when they had split.

Pathetic silly little excuse for a man - DH said it was like he'd got his frist erection and was running with it!!

Pedilla - I am sorry you've had such a rough time of it. I suppose what I wanted to say was that while he had made some pretty dire decisions, I still felt sorry for him for the basic thing of him being separated from his kids. Got the impression that while he maybe didn't have enough fight in him to stand up to his mother and be "strong enough" for her, the basic split was not his choice and certainly being so far away was out of his control too. But of course he should pay fair maintenance and both of them need a good talking to about not criticising each other in front of the children.

Message withdrawn

he worked at b and q

From what I could gather, they had a house. Which he still lived in.

How can you slate her for returning to where her family and friends are, her home city?
If your marriage blew up, it would be most likely you would return to where you felt safest with support and friendships.
And who could blame her for getting as far away as possible from his sanctimonious cow of a mother in law.

WE had one instance with exp where he did not pay support for 9 years as he was broke - genuinely so.
He suddenly came good, bought nice flat, car so we (me and dp - who has supported ds fully for 6 years) asked him for maintenance
Exp said he ahd noted that do had bought a new motorcycle and he didn't think he wanted to fund that kind of a lifestyle.
He was asked for £50 a month
We had words oh yes
That money does not even cover ds's school lunches for a month.

Well said piffle- I returned to my home city who wouldn't, to her credit dhe didn't once try and stop him seeing the children.

We had the opportunity to go to NZ two years ago, freehold house/smallholding and dp walking into a very highly paid (by NZ standards) job.
The reason we never left.
Exp
He had moved from NZ to be closer to ds in 1998. ( I am a kiwi I moved here in 1997 to be with my mum) It would have been unfair for us to do that to their relationship. I have some regrets but I can see the bigger picture.

If you and youe DH/Dp split surely the first place you would go would be back to your family (if you could)?

My ex has a family like this man's. they have made reports to the court that the children "smell so bad i have to open the windos of my car when they get in" "have to wash their clothes twice to get the smell out"

my son is SN and seen by so many proffessionals that such remarks are laughed at but 3 members of his f amily have pergered themselves in court by saying it!

there are some people out there who are just so vile theyt will no stop at anything to get their own way.
the very fact he laughed at the fact she had £47 a week with which to support herself and 2 young boys speaks volumes to me.

yes he loves his children dearly but his hatred for her overwhelmes that.
she struck me as an honest and mature woman who, although with her own faults wanted nothing but an amicable situation for her childrens sake.

for her to have had a termination simply because she couldnt have had the energuy to fight her e and be pregnant is just heartbreaking.

i am glad that the family are now at peace but his family should warch that show and be ashamed of themselves

through no fault of his own
So the breakdown of the marriage was all her fault?If his family had embraced her, as the mother of their grandkids even if nothing else.
Then perhaps she might have stuck around
The blame for her leaving is firmly on the MIL and the ex IMO
Yes it is not great for the kids that their daddy lives hundreds of miles away, given the holidays he actually spends a lot of one on one time with them that many married fathers do not get time wise.

she had to move out of the family home, she was now single and had to find somewhere to live..she chose to move near her family and freinds. being a single mum is incredibly difficult so you cant blame her for wanting the suport.

she didn't take his kids away from him as she always allowed access..and even tried to instigate it on occasion...he hadn't been told he couldn't see the children it was just a longer journey when he did.