Stand By Your Nan - X Factor results!

[JingleBellaTheGymnast]

Welcome all!

NanF will duet with nan from Benidorm

He is covered with ancient love juices.

merry I've just near on choked on a pringle

Weren't they Greeny?
I bet he smells funny. That biscuit fake tan smell, with Kouros and top notes of desperation.

Well on the whole, that was enormously disappointing.

His breath smells of custard creams and fixodent

Her with the shorts looking keen on Xtra.

I wouldn't want any bodily contact with Nanfucker, either TBH!

What has Flack done to her hair, and did someone yak down her top?
Shes an awful person. Ignorant biatch.

Who are they going to sing with then?
James - Ed Sheeran
Jahmene- Beyonce or Jennifer Hudson
Christopher - Celine Dion or Jane MacDonald

So what poor sod has to duet with Nanfucer next week?
I bet they're all out drawing straws as we speak, crying 'We used to have credibility'.

She'll be with one of them before long Sue!

So, some poor booker has to now dust off the list of nan-friendly singer to due with Cardiac Chris.

Shame Bill Tarmey is no longer with us.

Just think, one more week and one of babyshits could've been her new boyfriend

Nanfucker and Celine Dion - they could get Gillian McKeith in for that because they look and sound the same to me.

Right I'm off to try my lovely new bed before both the dcs get in it and I end up in one of their sodding beds instead

It was in the papers that Gary has to sing with Nanfucker because no one 'cool' wants to!

They might be able to persuade Mickey Bubbles to do it?

St Winifred's School Choir might be available?

No-one wants to duet with Nanfucker. Career suicide. Even Barry hates himprobably

Donny Osmond, Jimmy Osmond.....Marie? Erm...Dudley Osmond?

The Krankies?
Canon & Ball?
Roger de Courcey and Nooky Bear?
Des O'Connor?

Limahls out of the jungle, they can smash 'too shy shy'..

Wow Katherine J's a brilliant actress

Robbie Williams might do it...he is so far up Gary Barlow's arse it could just happen

Is she on Xtra? Wondered last week whether she'd be paired with Nanfucker!