Soham - A Parents Tale

[SoleSource]

Are you watching?

I knew that scumbag caretaker did it when I saw him being interviewed.

I think we're clear.

The "this made me hug my child tighter" posts which always crop up make me cringe. I don't need to hear of someone else's tragic loss to make me realise how precious my DD is.

Not really Solesource, i am clear that 'one-handed posting' is usually reference to a poster wanking about the subject being discussed, but in this case its a bit confusing as the points im making (agree witn them or not) would not, to any rational person, suggest i was having a wank.

I can only assume you want to take issue with something ive said but lack the clarity? Understanding? to do so and therefore made the shitty little one handed comment instead. Shame.

I can't stand the mass hysteria thing which happened with Princess Diana and Madeleine McCann. Nor do I like the fact that misery-lit has mushroomed into an industry which is about making a fast buck rather than anything useful

This programme was not like that at all. It was an insight into how people cope with grief, and rebuild their lives after a life changing event.

I do think it's a shame that the thread didn't start off on that footing, I think it's pointless and quite disrespectful to the parents for them to possibly read posts which just try to outdo eachother in terms of insults to the murderer. (Cunt-rag was used in an early posting. I mean why? Do we really need to fling obscenities around to try to prove how disgusted we are by him. The parents didnt do this in the program, they no doubt feel that ignoring his existence as much as possible is the right way to honour their daughter

I agree with janey with regards to the mass hysteria thing about Diana. Very odd. I wondered why people reacted that way. Screaming and crying in the city centre here.

Just one more thing... There is a world of difference between weeping over someone you don't know, and watching an insightful program about someone who has been inspirational. The Wells parents have been pretty significant in shaping changes to policy regarding appointments to jobs which involve working with children. And one thing which really impressed me was that in the major inquiry after the murders, when failings were pointed to in police forces and social services, Kevin wells stood up and was counted against the home secretary who wanted to sack a police chief as a scapegoat. I believe the police chief had only been in post since after the event, and it was a classic situation where the govt just wanted heads to roll. Kevin wells strikes me as a man of integrity and decency- it must be so easy to feel bitter and want to lash out at anyone, but he has been so dignified in not doing that.

Well this thread went in a direction I wasn't expecting.

Firstly 'grief wank'. A disgusting term but I can see your point a bit SGB. There certainly people out there that seem to get some weird pleasure from others misery. I couldn't see any of that on this thread or on the programme last night. I think your rant was misplaced.

tiddly The "this made me hug my child tighter" posts which always crop up make me cringe. I don't need to hear of someone else's tragic loss to make me realise how precious my DD is.

How ridiculous. Of course I know precious my dc are. A completely pointless comment.

Perhaps if SGB hadn't used such a disgusting derogatory term like grief wank a few of us could have perhaps seen her point of view.

But because she used that phrase I can't take her seriously, just makes me feel sick how utterly vile and disgusting she is for comparing anyone's empathy with someone's great as a wank.

*grief

I can completely see her point of view tango, about mass hysteria and unhealthy obsession with other peoples grief.

Where shes got it wrong is relating it to this topic. The program was not sensational or out to capitalise on grief.. It was actually an interesting observation about humanity

I can see that point of view too of course u can but it doesn't change my disgust at 'grief wank'.

Oh I agree tango- totally disgusting to use that phrase here

Thank you, Mike, for pointing out how ridiculous my point was

Grief wanking has certainly been - and may still be - a popular pastime on MN; all those threads on 'In The News' where someone posts a link to some or other Terrible Event and then there's a competition for who can post the most s on it. This isn't a bereavement thread, it's a discussion about a television programme.

Yes and you've definitely shown your colours SBG.

Indeed it is a thread about a tv programme. Although as I mentioned before SGB, you were quite happy to post abusively and spitefully on a recent thread which WAS about bereavement. You are either extremely dim or else a vile and vindictive bully with no grasp of propriety and respect for others: which is it? We would like to know.

As I recall, that particular thread was a piece of mawkish bandwagon jumping started by someone who did not know the bereaved family but was just enjoying the drama.

it's human nature to be intrigued in the lows that that other humans can sink to

if we cannot discuss it or empathise with it on a common forum for mothers where can we? i very much doubt people enjoy the 'drama' but feel the need to talk about it

The point is, SGB, you are remarking on a rpogramme you did not watch, did not wish to watch so why bother commenting? If it is of no interest to you, bugger off and upset someone else like you normally do.
Or maybe, you could actually watch the said programme and be enlightened by how the Wells family have got through this and made something positive out of it all. i.e the fundraising, the running of the london marathon, the writing of his poetry, the way the son has grown up and moved on with his life, now living with his girlfriend etc. I don't see anything mawkish about that.

And as for the comments you made on the bereavement thread, you disgust me.

If grief and support is not for you, don''t keep appearing on those type of threads

This isn't the bereavement section. And the first chunk of posts on this thread are a mix of 'Hang the perpetrator then hang him again' and 'Boohoo I'm going to cry' that crop up on any threads about notorious murder cases. Then some other posters comment that the programme did seem to dwell rather a long time on the original horrors. So not a unanimous verdict on the broadcasting of this programme being a good idea.

Would be interesting to see if someone came on one of your dv and abuse threads you post on and called it a rapewank? That'd be ok too would it?
I thought not.

SGB you are way out of line on this one - and even more so if you haven't even watched it.

what did sgb say i missed it

Read the thread, wendy, and you'll get an idea ...

Monspubis: Can you honestly not tell the difference between interacting directly with someone who is asking for advice/support, and getting your undies in a bundle over a television programme?