Soham - A Parents Tale

[SoleSource]

Are you watching?

I knew that scumbag caretaker did it when I saw him being interviewed.

op,I see you've said you too have had loss
wanted to acknowledge that as so hard

Afaik, Carr covered up for him. She cleaned out the boot of the car and was seen in tears doing this. I hope I haven't got my facts wrong and there is the possibility she was frightened off him.

No child of mine has died but a massuve part of him has....so I identified with the Fathers last statement. Although our experiences were very different, I was made to realise that odd wave of intermittel grief is normal. But very differebt.
I thougt it was an interesting insight and heartwarming that they seem determind to carry on their lives.

She also lied about being around at the time when she was away.

Tressy Maxine could have feared for her life. Maybe he had already involved her ynwittingly. Fear makes people do all kjnds of things. She was obviously weak in some way before.this event.

Sole, that is quite possible.

I thought it was a very thought-provoking programme - very sad, obviously, but quite inspiring the way that Holly's parents have turned the experience into something positive, and haven't let such a horrible tragedy ruin the rest of their (and their son's) life. It makes you wonder how you'd deal with it yourself.

Yes, the medium was spouting a load of hogwash IMHO, but if they took comfort from him, then so what?

Why are people so harsh on the medium. Each to their own and if any of the parents gain comfort from this.....that's their choice and who could know what they would resort to after the devastation of losing a child in this way. God bless the families x

Maxine has the appearance of someone who's lift doesnt go to the top floor. If indeed she is mentally challenged then that's should be assessed and dealt with appropriately.

Maxine probably believed he was innocent, youd be surprised what people will chose to believe because they cant face the truth

Did you know that there have been cases of women who look a bit like Maxine Carr being hounded by fuckwits?. No one is disputing that the Soham murders were a Bad Thing, but the murderer was caught, convicted and imprisoned, there is no conspiracy theory/unfinished business, so while the families of the victims are obviously going to be aware of the anniversary, I can see no point in broadcasting a programme about it, other than to give stupid people something to get in a froth about. What I mean by 'grief wank' is people who 'enjoy' a good cry over sad stuff, who buy all those awful misery memoirs and drive miles to put a bunch of limp petrol station flowers on a pile with loads of others where Something Bad happened.

SGB, I thought it was a hugely important way of showing that you can move forward and be happy again.

That will bring comfort to many people.

Also the stuff about the PND, many bad things happen, they dont all lead to national changes in the way policing is carried out.

SGB you grief wank enough on the relationship boards, going by your definition.

SoleSource: I think that's the opposite of the definition. Posting on the relationship boards offers the possibility of helping people in trouble. Chucking flowers about when someone's already dead - or watching TV programmes about someone else's tragedy - doesn't serve any useful purpose and is self-indulgence in the truest sense of the term

SGB, having suffered a terrible experience, I can tell you categorically, you are absolutely wrong.

I took great comfort from todays programme, from how they seemed strong as a couple and they havent been driven apart. How Holly remains a part of their lives but they arent mired in grief and the past.

It may not help you, but you have no idea what comfort others may derive from the programme.

I found it quite helpful actually, been feeling very low recently. It reminded me that yes you can still experience that terrible sadness and yet also look forward and plan what you want to do in honour of that person.

The program was a million miles away from driving across the country to stick a bunch of flowers where something bad has happened, or indulging in a badly written misery -lit book from Smiths. I wouldn't dream of doing either of those, and I agree that I am uncomfortable with the motives of people who do.

This wasn't like that at all. It was really an insight into the human spirit; how people respond to what life throws at them. It happened to be about the soham murders but really it could have been any other life changing event: how it's possible to not let that define your whole life, how you move forward. It certainly wasnt about wallowing.... Various members of the family spoke and I think there were literally a couple of tears, most of it was very uplifting and focusing on how something can change your life massively but not define you. In fact the lack of mawkishness was lovely. It was also useful to see what helps different people ... The only part I didn't like was the medium guy which made it all the more fascinating that in some way the parents connected with him and found it comforting

SGB - You are the poster who described the sentiments expressed on a thread about the death of expatinscotland's daughter as 'mawkish' and 'pukesome'. I assume at the time you were just about intelligent enough to know that as a prolific and long time member of MN Expat would be likely to read the thread, yet you made those comments anyway.Thankfully that thread was pulled.And here you are again, sneering and hectoring people who feel sorrow.

You are an abusive and bullying individual and should be embarrassed and ashamed at your despicable treatment of other posters on this board. You are a disgrace.

I think ITV made a mistake in focusing for the first half of the programme on the girls' disappearence and murders. That is well-documented and was unnecessary. I watched the programme because I was interested in how the parents had mananged to make happy and fulfilling lives despite a tragedy that would have completely broken me.

So I didn't need to see Nicola being reduced to tears by recounting the details of her daughter's murder or listening to family and friends give their account and their feelings towards Huntley. It was far more enlightening to see how the closeness of family and friends, and Kevin and Nicola's willingness to embrace them rather than turn away from the world helped the family to recover.

There is so much on TV about dysfunctional families and talentless celebs, it was nice to see a close, loving family for a change.

Yes I agree- there really didn't need to be much on the actual murders, though in fairness the overall focus was very much on how life has moved on. I don't recall much about the familys feelings towards Huntley? Which was good and refreshing. That's what I found a bit depressing at the start of this thread, that people on here were more interested in dwelling on Huntley being scum ... Bearing in mind the parents may read this, do they really need to see people who don't know the family deriding Huntley? The family themselves are focusing on the good in life. To give air time (or message board time) on insulting a convicted murderer is not as useful as honouring their daughter

SGB, you can try and justify what you said all you want, I didn't know you said those things about expats daughter, you are and disgrace and an absolutely vile and bitter and twisted individual.

How people choose to grieve is none of your fucking goddamn business, you actually make me feel sick with your definition of grief wank.

SGB grief wank? Really? Who are you to criticise how people feel or react to such an awful event. Whilst you may not agree with the programme to imply that people enjoy and revel in watching something so sad is ridiculous. I hope you are lucky and never have to feel how those poor parents felt when their daughter was taken from them so cruelly. The parents of Holly obviously felt it was helpful to make the programme and if it helps them to deal with their unthinkable loss then who are you or anyone else to question that. I watched the programme and admired the parents greatly for carrying on with their lives and making a success of it when others would have given up.

Re the last couple of posts, i cant speak for sgb or anyone else but am 100% confident that there has been no criticism here towards those grieving parents.

Just observations on the type who seek out, and wallow in, miserable and/or shocking tales. Usually in the form of miserylit (No Uncle Derek, Stop!!) or shitty, salacious ITV docs. These types can often be found on comment boards or talk boards, usually trying to out do each other in terms of how deeply troubled they are by something that happened to a person they never knew in a place theyve never heard of.... You've surely all come across the sort of thing? "i'm in floods here, its just all too close to home, my neighbours dd is called Maddie and dh has been on anout going toPortugal for ages and ds is almost exactly the same age and i dont know how her parents are managing to carry on, they're amazing, if it was me i'd curl up and die, i just would cos clearly my love is deeper therefore my devestation would be unbearable (and no, this is categorically not to say that we cant be upset by news stories. Its an observation on the level of pleasure some people are appear to derive from immersing themselves in someone elses tragedy and the genre that now exists to cater for them).

None of you may fall into that category, but its a section of the great british public that without a doubt exists. Princess Diana, Madeleine McCann. Its talked about a lot, sgb is not the first person to discuss this its been huge on here at times of particular news stories and elsewhere. The reaction as though sgb has said the unspeakable is odd...you've really never come across people reacting against this sort of thing before?

Foosa I am impressed at your one handed typing skills....

Meaning? If its worth saying you may as well be clear...