The thing is, dh had a friend (when we first met) whose wife ran a nursery, came home exhausted, then did everything at home, while friend sat about smoking dope. DH repeated his friend's mantra to me "she's just playing with kids all day, how hard can it be?". This reminds me so much of that, and the horror with which I heard it. AFAIK, dh's friend still thinks like that but - oh dear what a shame - we haven't seen him for years. (He & wife split up soon after, sensible woman.)
When dd was born, dh still had that kind of attitude, but lost it pretty quickly.