i used to work in a psychiatric hospital, it was private therefore we only got to see the absolute worst case scenarios where local authorities had exhausted every service they had to offer - re: girls throwing themselves off of the roof of the children's home they had been sent to (i am not exaggerating here). they were the ones who had screamed and shouted and kicked for attention and could not be ignored and even then they were labelled and treated as 'behavioural problems' rather than the truth of having been through such horrendous abuse on such a broad scale that they were damaged and hurt and traumatised beyond what most of us are able to imagine.
i was left on 12 hr shifts of constant obs (minus food/statutory breaks) with a girl of 14 (i was 18 at the time) who had been admitted to the hospital but because she had a back injury was put in a private ground floor room over in acute rather than going on to the ward. it was me and her one on one with no respite. she shared with me the story of her life and i sat with her through brutal flashbacks. we played, 'my grandma went shopping and she bought...' in response to her flashing back to her brother and his mates pinning her down and raping her. what i should have done is pressed the alarm button and then a group of big strong men would have come in and pinned her down and restrained her because she was freaking out and threatening to hurt herself. i chose instead to sit on her bed and hold her hands assertively and say MY GRANDMA WENT SHOPPING AND SHE BOUGHT....
i was assigned to her for about a week. it was the end of my work there. i saw a sister every day and said this was too much, she was desperate for support and needed a therapist etc and it wasn't fair to leave me with her for 12hrs a day without support or back up. i was ignored. i did my best. as ridiculous as it sounds the 'my grandma went shopping' game saw us through - i'd come in the next day and see if we could remember a-z of the day before. she had constant flashbacks and the distraction game was all we had. i could not bear to pull that cord and let her relive a gang of men holding her down.
she, and many other girls like her but i knew more of her story because of the 12hr shifts with her due to her back injury and off ward care, was a survivor of things we can't even imagine and i really didn't need to imagine at that age frankly but was made aware of. her dad raped her as standard, she had some sense of self preservation that allowed her to cling onto a sense that it was him who was fucked up. her brother reached an age where he started having sex with her and then brought his friend into it too - still she had a modicum of hope and self preservation that said my family is fucked up. then one day she was raped outside of the home and that was it - any semblence of hope that this wasn't her but them disappeared - it was definitely her, she was marked for this, everyone saw her as this etc etc.
that ward was heartbreaking tbh because of having to realise that all of these teenage girls being labelled and treated as behavioural problems, awkward, fucked up etc were actually victims of more horrendous abuse than you can imagine and therefore unsurprisingly having had totally abnormal screwed up childhoods weren't exhibiting the most 'normal' and conformative behaviour.
that is the level of compassion and care shown for the most abused and fucked up kids in the country (only went there when local authorities had exhausted every service etc). so what kind of care and support is shown for the child who was 'just' abused by her dad, neglected in her needs, made to give sexual favours to mum's new boyfriend?
sorry this is long and random but i think sometimes people don't realise just how deep abuse goes, how bad it is for some, and how little 'we' do for them. if these girls could be good, not stick things up their fanjo, not slash their arms open with whatever they could get hold of with a vaguely sharp edge and do as they were told they might be allowed to progress onto the next ward level up which meant they were allowed to go out a bit and have a cup of tea at a local cafe rather than being on total lockdown. they were 'behavioural' patients - the problem allegedly was their behaviour problems and they just needed to learn to be good girls - in reality they were ptsd patients who were trying to make some sense of reality.
i can't pretend that we care about these people and do all we can for them. one of the best hospitals in the country treated them as problems to be fixed (re made to behave and be good) rather than broken children who needed to be loved and reassured and healed. it was gutting. frankly i would have been better off not knowing how we treated the victims of screwed up pedophiles and psychopaths at that age but their you go.
sorry if very irrelevent seeming but the reality is that there are people amongst us who were raised being raped and beaten by daddy, uncle, next door neighbour, brother, brothers mates etc etc. they may appear dysfunctional and naughty for not being able to conform to basics we agree are essential but it's no real wonder.