One Born Every Minute (7/2)

[juneybean]

Here we are then

Sara's pain was completely dismissed because it was her 3rd and 'she knows what's coming'. She was dismissed to her face twice, once with 'Well, you've done this before'.

That is appalling.

Her baby was OP, that's why it was hurting her so much.

God forbid such a mother have an undiagnosed condition that's even worse, the consequences could have been far greater.

I think another woman in Sara's place would have been taken more seriously regarding the pain, I got the impression they didn't want to give the epidural as her labour was not established enough with the blonde with the curly hair, she sounds quite a nasty piece of work the way she treated Sara and the way she spoke about the things she encouraged her child to her husband, if I was pregnant and saw her as my mw I would ask for someone else, she seems quite a nasty piece of work with missing empathy emotions!

I can completely understand them encouraging a woman not in established labour to try something else (maybe they did but it wasn't really shown), but Sara seemed so helpless and ignored.

I have had ptsd since having dd and a lot of it stems from not being listened to. I'm an erudite, intelligent woman. When I tell you that something is wrong, that I know my own body and that I need help, an infantilising 'come on one more push into that wicked pain' is just bollocks frankly. You feel so out of control, the midwives are the only people who can help and nobody listens.

Having slept on this I am even more appalled today at the cavalier attitude of the mws on there. I can't understand why it's not a disciplinary matter to be so laissez faire and disengaged from the patients.

I can understand the not giving an epidural to a woman who is not in established labour BUT at soon as she was then she should have had her request granted.

If the MW had been in Sara's room building up a bond with her, talking to her re her options and giving info as to what stage they would give an epidural then Sara would not have missed her chance.

And could someone please explain to me why pethidine is considered a better option than epidural (as in why offer pethidine but refuse an epi).

I have had morphine during labour and the drugged up loss of control is horrible. I really felt for Sara when she was slurring and her eyes were rolling back. nasty.

I have had two sections so have never actually laboured. Is it normal for the mw just to go off and leave you on your own?

I was left alone for hours with DD1.

With DS, I was on my own, no birth partner as DH had to stay with our other two and I had to go to a hopsital very far away late at night.

I was left alone for hours again. Completely alone. Stoned on diamorphine.

In fact I wouldn't be surprised if part of why they don't like women to have epis is because then they can't swan off and drink tea, they actually have to stay with the patient and like, you know, work.

God I am so naive, I am really shocked. Fair enough if it is busy and they are running about between rooms but to just slink off and drink tea/text is shocking.

I thought it was bad enough with my first section, where there was just another girl and me on an empty ward and we were just left there from the day before. We were woken at 6 and given the anti sick pills and then left, we didn't know when the sections were to take place or anything. Eventually had dd at 4pm that afternoon.

i wanted to smack that midwife who said - see i told you you didnt need that epidural - i had the very same said to after a 38 hour labour grrrrrrrrrrr

expat the cynic in me would agree and at the very least I suspect it is a cost issue: the one on one care is expensive.

Up until last night I thought OBEM showed MW's in a really positve light. After watching it last night and with 5 weeks until my baby is due I am bloody glad I've done it three times already - otherwise I'd be terrified.

tmmj - why should we be 'proud' to give birth without pain relief though? It doesn't make you a better mother, you don't get a 'better' baby.

All this competition over how we give birth does nothing but make women who have 'failed' against this criteria feel shit.

Nancy - yes I would be terrified as a first-timer too.

In fact, watching that episode last night has decided me in favour of an ELCS rather than a VBAC.

I gave birth drug/pain-relief free once.

Big.fucking.whoop.

I didn't feel any more proud of that than of giving birth the other two times.

It's hardly an achievement or badge of honour - 'Oh, I'm so hard, no pain relief! You epidural/CS saddos. If you'd have just been hard as me!'

I didn't get the impression she was proud.

Interventions that aren't good for us?

Oh, the PTSD I got from my drug-free birth, yeah, that was really good for me! I loved that! It made my PND even better!

I'm sure crowning that 9.5lbs. baby with cord round his neck would have been an even better experience for me, mentally.

Or feeling myself being torn open by a baby with her hand up over her ear.

Yes I know she did, but why? Because we are all conditioned to think of labour as some kind of endurance test, and the less pain relief we have the better.

'why aren't those midwives encouraging them to move about to help things along?'

Maybe some people don't want to. Maybe they'd prefer decent pain relief instead.

Not everyone wants to sing Kumbaya and embrace Mother Earth.

TMMJ she felt proud because somewhere along the line she has been conditioned into thinking that drug free = better.

And why should she feel proud that she hadn't had intrusive interventions - it had very little to do with her (and has very little to do with most mums). Being made to feel proud of something over which you have minimal control sets woman up to feel like failures. I don't know why we do this.

By all means have (attempt) the birth you want. Giving birth to my DC2 without drugs was wonderful because I felt wonderful throughout and immediately after. It wasn't wonderful because I had attained some sort of goal. I have no doubt it would have been a whole lot less wonderful if I had been in the sort of pain I was with DC1, which would have been exacerbated had I been refused adequate pain relief.

With shows like these, it's all in the editing.

The producers can make the midwives look lazy or fantastic or somewhere inbetween.

I really don't think you can draw too many conclusions or judge the midwives here too harshly from the tiny snippets of their shifts we are shown. I think it would have been good to interview the midwives a bit more about their opinions and to show their reflections after the event, as well as those of the parents.

Agree expat. It's the healthcare professionals with guidelines driven by budgets who are the ones 'bigging up' the WONDERS of the epidural free labour

for

' wow -you managed it without an epidural'

read

'wow you were totally zoned off your face on pethidine which has the potential to cross the placenta but I did not have to sit with you for a few hours and you saved us some cash.'

since when was pethidine and a tank of gas and air drug free??

I was none too compos mentis for my one experience of pethidine/diamorphine . Apart from the baby coming out of my fandango there felt very little 'natural' about it