One Born Every Minute

[MrsChemist]

Anyone watching?

I am just at how many negative comments made about the screamer!

Umm why can?t a woman scream in childbirth? Because it annoys others?

Honkytonk it's an awful hospital is the answer to your question. I was in there 4 days having my DD and rarely saw a midwife during the whole stay. They were hopelessly understaffed and demoralised - DH had to help catheterise me due to lack of staff, and anaesthetist got called away just as he was inserting epidural so they had to drag someone over from the General who put it in too high and I crashed. I had to wait on a chair outside theatre for my cs as they didn't have enough beds. The consultant's first words to me afterwards were "are you going to sue us?".

Hospital management were uninterested in any constructive suggestions for improving services - great attitude from what is supposed to be a teaching hospital.

I was far from unique in experiencing dreadful care hearing other people's experiences.

macmama if you can't help screaming because you're totally off your head on gas and air or then fair enough, there's nothing anyone can do. But to yell your head off from the very first contraction is actually a bit inconsiderate on a labour ward - imagine the poor midwives having to listen to it for hours on end. I do actually think that if you can reign it in a bit in the early stages, you should, for everyone's sake. Imagine the fear it must put into other women listening to it.

Also - shouting really doesn't help at all. If anything, it hinders the process as you're putting all your efforts into making noise through your mouth instead of shoving all your energy into your bum!

"Also - shouting really doesn't help at all. If anything, it hinders the process as you're putting all your efforts into making noise through your mouth instead of shoving all your energy into your bum!"

Completely disagree!

Loud vocalising can be really helpful in dispersing adrenaline and opening up the pelvic floor.

What that midwife could have done is got that mum to try different vocalisations - mooing, 'eeeee', 'aaaaaaaa', etc. Lower her voice instead of screaming. It would have empowered her.

She could have helped her cope with her contractions better. She didn't seem to have any suggestions about self-help strategies. She could have got the dad to help the mum into an upright position, got her on a ball, had her doing rhythmical breathing and swaying, stamping, counting - anything really to distract her from the pain.

"But please don't think you stayed at home entirely through choice".

Well, if she hadn't chosen to have her baby at home, no amount of luck would have given her the experience of a midwife attended homebirth!

Just what I was thinking SoLongAsItsHealthy

'She could have got the dad to help the mum into an upright position, got her on a ball, had her doing rhythmical breathing and swaying, stamping, counting - anything really to distract her from the pain.'

She was shown earlier rolling on the ball.

Maybe it didn't work for her.

Maybe it hurt at a level she found unacceptable and that's how she coped.

Maybe there should be better availability of epidurals so women like her get pain relief more quickly.

When I had DS, I didn't want to get on the fucking ball, or move around, or get in water. I wanted an epidural.

I didn't scream, because I made sure I was stoned on G&A and diamorphine whilst I waited for my epi and did not let them forget that I wasn't giving birth till I got one.

I totally understand the screaming - during my 1st birth, I fell off the trolley begging on my hands and knees for the doctors to fetch my mother as I thought I was dying - everything had started to go black. The pain was nothing like I have ever experienced before or since, (and had terrible back surgery a few years ago which was a doddle in comparison). Had an epidural and finally forceps as I was so exhausted after a 20 hour labour. Not allowed any food or drink in that time save a few sips of water. 2nd birth was twins - didn't scream at all - in fact coped very well with just gas and air and laboured on my back throughout with 25 people in the room. The difference I believe was that during my 1st birth the waters broke at the beginning. Had water around twins and didn't feel anything like the pain I had before. Had been in hospital for 3 weeks on the labour ward before the birth as my babies were very premature. Had to listen to births like Stephs over and over again of women without pain relief - a woman almost giving birth in the corridor when she had been told 10 mins earlier that she was not in active labour and making a big fuss. It was terrifying and upsetting, reminding me of my 1st birth. The midwives told me the screaming is not uncommon as if you can't get your epidural in time it's just tough. No wonder I had an 8 year gap.

Ooh just watched it. So exciting its back on. Now I am totally in Steph's defence. I yelled my head off and it really helped me (twice over). This is what is taught in hippy birthing classes no? All that 'making noise' as a form of pain relief along with epidurals and gas and air, and everyone nods in the circle and the midwife says what a good idea and then when they get to hospital everyone says 'now now, no need to make so much noise.' or 'screaming won't help dear'. WTF??!

Also the way the midwives were winking and smiling at her in the staff room! Is it just me who thinks that is really unfair and mean? It really helped me, as I was taught it would, to sort of let the pain go through me by vocalising (erm okay yes, screaming) and to shut up would have required sort of holding onto the pain which would have not been possible. It needed to get through me and out.

Just my experience but it seems horrible to laugh at someone who is going through an experience so extreme as childbirth and dealing with it in a way they have been taught to!! (and the way their body wants them to).

I am astounded that medical staff seem to consider it okay to have a woman screaming & sobbing with pain, literally begging for pain relief, and fob her off with "oh the anaesthetist will be here ..erm.... soon(ish)"

Can you imagine any other area of medical care, where HCPs would laugh at the patient writhing in pain and expect them to just wait until someone qualified turned up to administer pain relief?

I felt really sorry for the poor woman.

just watched it so sorry to be joining in so late but that young midwife reminded me of the one I had during a long and ultimately failed induction. Had synto drip on max for hours and wasn't allowed to move cos they kept losing the trace and I really did not feel like she had any empathy for the pain I was in at all and did not even suggest breathing type techniques. In hindsight I wish I had said something and asked for another one but that's easier said than done in reality. This girl even looked like her! Laughing and smirking when someone perceives themselves to be in that state is unbeleivably unhelpful. Wonder if they come on here and read this?

trixie, I too had a mw who suggested...absolutely nothing! She said "breathe" a couple of times, but that was it. I didn't scream, but I did cry and beg for an epidural. Ended up with forceps in theatre. I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if the first mw I saw had stayed on duty, who seemed so much more dynamic, but I don't dwell on it. The second mw also made several mistakes and the drs seemed v annoyed with her when they got involved. Ironically this wasvin the Princess Anne whilst they were filming. They asked if I would be filmed, hmm, let me think about that!

Anyway, I've rambled. But no one should judge another woman for screaming in labour, just a shitty, smug thing to do IMO.

The OBEM group on facebook has just turned into a fight because some of the comments about Steph's shouting and both Steph and her partner have joined in with the bullying and horrible things being said on there. It is all very sad that people can not grow up and stop being in the playground. Yes, she screamed but that about it no need for the rest of it.

*is about it!

I found the show compelling. I wanted to watch it but when i had watched it, I wished I hadn't.

Reason being, PCOS, prolactinoma, and a morbid belief that it will never ever be me having a baby.

I just watched it on Sky+

If I had been in labour at the same time as Steph and heard her screaming I'd have been even more terrified than I already was.

However, I know each womans way of coping is different and if screaming her head off helped then so be it.

Janet and Ralph were lovely.

I cried like a baby when the babies were born .

thell
"My DH turned to me and said - 'Is that what women who give birth in hospitals go through?'

He's a bit spoilt as he only has experience of our fairly straightforward homebirth.
This programme seems quite good for validating the choices I already made!!"

could you be any more sanctimonious and smug?

Well said minx.

"shouting really doesn't help at all."

TOTALLY disagree particularly in the final stages.

Since the last month or two of being pregnant while the last series was on, I just can't watch it! I'd get twinges and whince a lot, and having not been able to yet write down my birth story... I don't think I'm ready to watch that show again yet either!

Just came back to this and cannot believe the stuck Steph got for screaming. How cananyone judge the pain another woman is feeling? If we need to scream in labour them so be it, there's no prizes for being silent and not making a fuss.

With DD1 I was in agony from the off, but was fobbed off and told I was making a fuss I was only 1cm and it couldn't hours. I was made to lie on a bed with only gas and air screaming my head off as I had no let up in contractions. It was only when I started pushing that they took any notice of me but it was too late no pain relief and a compound presentation hand by face tore me to shreds. MW actually apologised and said no wonder I was screaming dilating 8cms in under an hour.

No one can tell the presentation of a baby or a Romans anatomy so shouldn't comment in them screaming in birth. I screamed the next 3 out as well but at least I knew why those times.

My first birth was 24 hours constant back contractions, after about 23 hours I was told I was still only 2cms but 30minutes later fully dilated. When the mw checked after I had been pushing for 15 minutes she started to panic my son was back to back and had his arm up by his face. Lucky for me I managed to push him out before she could intervene as he was coming out his hand grazed my vagina but he was born still the wrong way no stitches. I was not screaming and found the pain barely manageble I have a very high pain threshold because of a illness in which similar pains were experienced.

My second was fairly straightforward no pain relief and the only bad bit was I went from 6-10 in 2 minutes so the mws though my cervix had torn and two had their hands right up inside me while another held me down.

Iknow that I was fairly lucky to have had two good births that were in a pain bracket Icould cope with, and being quiet and breathing deep is my way of handeling pain, but for some it is pain relief for others it is screaming (I someone who was screaming constantly next to me on my first birth I was only 17 and while being in labor myself she was irratating but then everyone was she didn't upset me so dont feel guilty if you screamed)I dont think anyone should be teased about the way they choose to handle pain. I read some of the comments on that Obem fb page and thought they were vile. I think steph is very brave could anyone else here let someone film them during birth and air it on tv?

I think they both have slight social problems, didn't the narrator say something about them having difficulty making friends/getting along with others?

At least he didn't leave her in the lurch when she found she was pregnant like many others who do. I think they could be good together with support from her Mum. He didn't seem to have any support from his parents but he could be a great father.

That Steph woman got on my nerves, blimey did she overdo it! Labour is painful but she must have a very low pain threshold and she said she'd do it again!!!!!!

Have just thought, aren't you supposed to have an epidural before you go to the second stage? If the contractions get too much how are you supposed to hold still?

Any mws on here?

My 17 year old girl was laughing, she said she won't have any children till she is 'married and settled down' and the only person she'll let in with her is me - ahhhh how nice!

I have 3, eldest is 20, then 17, then 8.5. natural labour isn't always bad and I am glad I didn't have to have a C-section.

I found Steph's screaming oddly comforting. I'm 28+4 with my first and I have no idea how I'll react to the pain of labour. OBEM has covered women who have delivered with barely a whimper with no relief and now a woman who screamed throughout.

I feel reassured that the range of reaction is so broad and that there's no 'norm'. It means I can deal with it however best suits me and know the mws have probably seen it all before.