One Born Every Minute

[MrsChemist]

Anyone watching?

That poor girl is obviously terrified of the pain.

SOH I think most women who have been through labour don't judge, there but for the grace of God go I and all that. Silly people having a go at people for shouting. It's labour, you go into your primal self, and you do what you do.

Agree you should have experienced labour to be a midwife.... in my first labour I asked the midwife if she had children (whilst in SHOCK) at the pain and she said no. Does not instill confidence.

Ooh, nearly blubbed at the birth. Went to rub my bump and realised actually the bump is just chocolate induced and no longer contains a baby

MoldyWarp, I asked on another thread, not sure if you saw, why are you called that?

It happens after every OBEM, a running commentary on how a woman should be embarrassed/should have got a grip.

I don't like reading it on here for personal reasons. It confirms what a failure I was.

That said I had an ace midwife who had no children when I was in labour - and I had a male midwife who was also marvellous.

Showofhands repeat after me 'I am not a failure. I am a bloody great Goddess who brought a gorgeous baby into the world'

SoH - I was one of those showing a distinct lack of empathy and I'm very sorry it upset you so much - I found the screaming really quite distressing and it did strange things to my sense of perspective.

But there's no way you should be feeling ashamed for behaving in what is ultimately a completely natural, primitive sort of way. You behaved as your body was telling you to behave - and you gained a DD who draws pictures of elephants climbing trees (that image has stayed with me :o) out of the experience. You should be proud, as we all should. I sobbed and swore and sobbed some more (and with DC4, for some reason, thought I was on the set of South Pacific). It's a hell of a thing to go through - this bloody TV show just serves to emphasise that.

my midwife with ds1 was fantastic and has never been in labour.

I didn't. A surgeon yanked her out of me. I failed miserably.

I will always feel like I let myself down but sometimes I feel like I've let everybody else down too. Especially dd. When grown women can say such cruel things about another woman who is struggling to bring a baby into the world, it suggests that there's a right or a wrong way. Like you could do better if you were more like other women.

showofhands how are you a failure

if a mw hasn't had a baby themselves I think mothers in labour may feel that without experience of having given birth themselves, they will not have a true understanding of what the mother is going through. having said that, all labours are different so just because a mw has had a baby that doesn't mean that they will know how every mother they care for feels during labour

The thing is it wasn't natural or primitive Hassled. I knew something was wrong and felt out of control. That was the problem. I couldn't handle it because I knew something wasn't right. Which became painfully apparent in the end and resulted in an emcs.

But thank you for your words. It's actually highly unfair of me to comment on here because my irrationality comes from my perspective. I've struggled with ptsd for years and it's stopped me having more children. It's that which upsets me, not people just watching a programme that's designed to provoke you. I shouldn't take it out on MN.

Aah the elephant in the tree. Eating peanuts. Very important to remember the peanuts.

But SoH, you didn't fail. You have a beautiful child. That's not failure at all.

I have a beautiful, wonderful, spirited little girl. And I know that in the things I have a choice in, I do my best. Like raising her and loving her and teaching her.

But it's the difference between knowing and feeling. The rational part of my brain can't overcome the sadness that rears its head when I confront giving birth.

sorry crossed post SOH - I understand completely why you'd feel like a failure (I had an emcs with my first) but the fact of the matter is that you didn't fail. Your body grew and nutured your baby - so what if it needed help bringing her into the world. While I don't know you, I imagine that you're doing a fantastic job raising her and that is the real challenge for any parent - that is what any of us can fail at

What a beautiful moment. I think Ralph is going to be a wonderful Dad. Like Frankenstein

Showofhands You are a Goddess. I am. and a doctor yanked my son out of me too. And if he hadn't he wouldn't be here.

Women who criticise the birthing experience / behaviour of others are a special kind of nasty. Ignore them.

You never mentioned the peanuts :o.

What you went through sounds truly, truly hideous and I'm sorry. All I can tell you is that no two of my four labours have been remotely alike. Just as none of my children are remotely alike.

I'm not sure I'm ever going to be a Goddess. Can I be a druid instead?

I might not watch OBEM next week. I might watch Colin Firth striding out of a pond whilst sopping wet.

:o at druid. Ok.

I already dress like a druid.

A doctor dragged my baby out of me but I'm still claiming full credit.

Oh yes, so you do! Gorgeous pics :)

DD is gorgeous. Me? Not so much. But yes, I am mostly in floaty, homemade stuff reeking of patchouli.

I'd claim full credit for dd but I was so out of it when she was born that I'm not entirely sure if I can remember it or if I've created a memory of it iyswim. I grew her though. I liked that bit.

MoldyWarp is a mole (good name btw)

I left my £15 twopenceworth on the other feedback thread. I can't imagine why they didn't want me on the panel