One Born Every Minute

[MrsChemist]

Anyone watching?

Blimey, I thought it was only in Macbeth that it didn't count if you arrived by cs. My first was hauled out with a sink plunger and my second arrived more decorously with surgical assistance, but they were definitely born. To me.

Aaah, you see where I come from a moldywarp is a wood louse. I've never heard anybody else use the term.

A mole is, er, a mole.

or

'bloody things'

little grey rabbit books.

ShowOfHands, FWIW I was born by CS and I would never for one minute think that my mother "failed" me! I was born, I am here - same as your DD.

I'm not keen on the comments that people make about other women labouring either. I had an epidural with my DD. I couldn't cope with the pain. On another thread someone said that epidurals cause the baby to have more pain as the mother is having less... I don't know if that's true but it really upset me to think of DD in pain but she's 3 and she's suffered no ill effects. She's a bright, happy child so...

Sorry to come out from lurking!

Steph's experience reminded me of DS2 birth. He was back to back and I genuinely lost it with the level of pain. I can't actually put into words how painful it was and ended with forceps delivery in theatre.

DS1 birth was a lovely straightforward one with no drugs and I do admit to wondering what all the fuss was about at the time.

Fast forward 3 years to DS2 and my first time smugness came back to bite me in the bum (so to speak)

What a load of rot.

No birth is the same.

My 1st was born after a 56 hr labour-emergency section.
Horrific.
Didn't scream.

Give me that badge!

2nd-very controlled,planned section.

Both were shit.

Horrible births.

But,I really enjoyed the show.

Birth can be be bad,let's not beat about the bush...it#s the hardest thing a woman shall go through (bodily).

Show of Hands - sorry to miss you on the other thread! I am a lovely mole in Little Grey Rabbit
here!

SOH I couldn't agree more those comment are pretty cruel.
For one thing I do remember on one of the Christmas threads one of the posters was filmed and was due to be on she mentioned screaming a lot and hitting her OH so this might have been this mother, she said she was very worried how she came across and seemed to be ashamed of how she reacted althought if I remember rightly she also said a lot of the calm moments were taken out and it was highly edited.
I'd hate for her to be reading these comments.

i thought Asperger's too...reminds me so much of my eldest hehe

Anyone having a go at Steph needs a good (metaphorical) slap - you might have been lucky enough to have straightforward labour(s), but you can't know another's pain and you have no idea how it felt for her. Watching her last night, I just felt grateful that my two labours were nothing like as hard.

Ralph and Janet were lovely - just kids themselves really, but so sweet and funny. I think that with the right support, they'll make fab parents. "Can we just talk about horses now?"

And another thing! (am far too involved) No Placentas and no breasts.

I really felt for Steph, the poor thing was obviously terrified and no one seemed to be doing anything to calm her down except for telling her to be quiet

I was exactly the same when I was in labour, it all happened so fast and I was fully dilated when I got to hospital. Ds arrived 30 minutes after I got there and there was no time for pain relief or for anyone to talk to me about what was going on. Some of the comments on here really upset me

ShowOfHands - I really empathise with what you are saying about knowing and feeling - I am the same way about breastfeeding - I feel like a total failure as a mother because I didn't manage to breastfeed any of mine for more than 3 months (and that was ds3 and he was mixed fed - on my milk alone none of them gained weight). I know that I did my best at the time, and have gone on to nourish them well since - the fact that they are all strapping lads who are taller than me seems to prove this - but I still feel like a failure, and am still working on dealing with those feelings.

But you grew a beautiful baby in your body, made the best decisions for her whilst in labour, and have raised her to be a very special person - and I hope that you will be able to feel this as well as knowing it.

I thought Ralph was lovely too - though I am not sure I'd have thought so if I had been in labour with him supporting me. And I thought that caesarian sections are so called because Caesar decreed that, if the mother died, the baby should be cut out of her body to give it a chance of life - I'm sure that's what they told us when I was doing my nurse training (but it is many years ago, and my memory is not as good as it was when I was young, so I could be wrong).

Oh - and I so wanted to get Steph up on her hands and knees, and rub her back, or to get her into the birthing pool (am I right in saying that the first room she was in had a birthing pool in it - I'm sure I saw one in the corner of a shot?).

I agree with Sophable's every comment.

I think the birthing mothers were great - poor old Steph was really distressed bless her. And what is wrong with yelling your head off?

It looked like the birthing unit when I gave birth to dd 15 years ago. Lying flat on your back with the heart monitor. Thank god I had a great community midwife who said 'fgs don't let them strap you to a heart monitor, say you need to go to the look, have it taken off and then when you come back just walk around. Lying on your back is the worst thing.

And the midwives were useless on this. What was the use in eating biscuits in the staffroom whislt sniggering at Steph's yelling. Why didn't one of them go in there and get her moving, or at least be of some use.

And the namby pamby midwife with Janet - telling her about the history of whateever drug it was being used for abortions in years gone by. Jesus christ just be useful instead of patronising the girl.

Shows a sad state of affairs for midwife services. I thought it would have changed in 15 years, evidently not.

And it all that crap that midwives always trot out about a woman's body is beautifully designed for childbirth. No it aint. Not really. Sentiments like that just go towards making women who have intervention feel even worse about themselves.

"Oh - and I so wanted to get Steph up on her hands and knees, and rub her back, or to get her into the birthing pool (am I right in saying that the first room she was in had a birthing pool in it - I'm sure I saw one in the corner of a shot?)."

Thing is though, we don't know that none of these things were attempted. I wouldn't have thanked you for rubbing my back in either of my labours (my mum tried it the second time, every nerve was screaming "GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW" but I managed to wait for the contraction to finish and then politely say "you don't need to do that, thanks Mum"). And although I had indicated that I wanted a water birth in my plan, once I was at the hospital I didn't want to move from the bed, though I knew enough by then to force myself upright for the second stage.

You can't make a labouring woman move around. I would be willing to bet that suggestions were made, as they were to me, but that she refused them.

I totally agree stdg. After my ds was born the mw apologised for making me stay on my back and said "its better to give birth in an upright position you know" - erm yes I did know that. When I asked why she hadn't let me get up she didn't have an answer for me

Steph's labour lasted for hours though, and was heavily edited so it would fit into half of an hour long programme. So we really don't know that the midwife didn't suggest that she get upright - and after the epidural, I don't think she'd have been able to anyway?

Stephs midwife laughing at her while having her epidural was disgraceful I was shicked at just how unfeeling she was towards her.

It's true that they might have tried back massage or getting her on hands and knees, or the birthing pool during Steph's labour, but why wouldn't the programme have shown this?

I thought that the midwife was laughing at the reactions of the doctor, and the problems he was having, rather than laughing at Steph - still not good, though.

I don't know, stdg - it seemed the programme makers were more interested in her obvious distress than in the midwife's role. I think the programme makers probably sometimes sacrifice what they see as extraneous detail in favour of emotional drama, I guess.

FWIW, it seemed clear to me that the midwife, Steph and her partner all had a good rapport - they were having a joke later once the epidural had kicked in - and I didn't find the midwife unfeeling.

Labour is such an individual experience though. I remember during the Xmas show they had that obnoxious bloke and his wife on from last series (the one who was tickling her with a blown-up rubber glove during contractions) and she said she wanted him to joke around, she'd have hated any "touchy-feely stuff", which is not how it came across at the time.

You might well be right, Emma.

'You can't make a labouring woman move around. I would be willing to bet that suggestions were made, as they were to me, but that she refused them.'

I definitely would have. Those things never did FA for pain relief for me.

With DS, my 3rd, I knew well in advance I wanted an epi. I was insistent and had to travel 1.5 hours to a CLU, actively labouring, because I wanted an epi. I got there and started asking for the epi.

Waited 4 hours.

They kept asking if I wanted to get off the bed, get on the ball.

NO. NO. NO. I want diamorphine whilst I wait for my epi, goddammit, so I can be off my tree at least.

I finally got it.

Some women want birthing pools and back rubs, others want pain relief pronto.