x-factor -results!

[Raahh]

removing sordid thoughts of Matt and Katie-
who is gonna go??

I'd rather catch your tour. There might be cake.

Ivana

Pamela Stephenson?

Evening!
Sorry, I'm late ! What have I missed ?

I think her face is unrecognisable too, pos nose job...

Oh great. The only was is Essex. Awesome.

I'll do whatever you want. You mentioned cake. No clue what dundee cake is though. It's not a lie like carrot cake? Some kind of vegetable masquerading as the exquisite pleasure that is cake. I've been to Dundee. Dare I say Dundee Cake is an oxymoron? Sublime to the ridiculous, or you know t'other way round.

Aiden good in bed? Shurley shome mistake? He behaves as though he's never even got to 1st base with another person.

Hahaha, Diana as bad as she was before, imo

It's quite scary on itv2 hd. You can see how much make up they've trowelled on.

Ooh Katy Perry, not sick of the sight of her at all, no sirree bob.

Yawn yawn. Wish they didnt string this out so much,

Nice one, Katy Perry - some real talent at last!

I have no idea what it tastes like but it looks sturdy. And there is the danger that if you sign nice cake I will eat it. So Dundee will last longer.

Mary works in tesco on the till.

I've been to Dundee too. Lived there v. briefly. Will never willingly go back.

What did she say?

What's she on about?

She hit a note yet?

Katy Perry has copied my hair colour.

Who the heck is Katy Perry? I like her hair.

I like folk music you know. I have no idea who any of these modern folks are. I only watch X Factor because it's better to face your fears, look down into the chasm, accept the Apocalypse as it unfolds.

Katy Perry got great body.

Are you sure goodmanners? Not in a vast engineering project or with feet? Or the Zoo?

Well at least Katy is singing live.........sounds like me in the bath but at least there's no miming.........

Are all the women on this having a shit hair dye competition?

Katy has gone purple.

Deary me. Katie's a bit off tune.

Does Mary work in Tesco? Are you sure?

OMG Katy Perry sounds awful!