How have you/did you introduce alcohol to teenagers?

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Assuming you did of course. I grew up with parents very keen for me to “get used to it” at home so was drinking Bacardi Breezers at home from about age 13. And was socialising drinking in sixth form out the house. To be fair I grew up with a pretty healthy relationship with alcohol and only really drank (minimally) when socialising right through my uni years to my 30s.

Anyway, my son is turning 16 soon. We’ve not let him have anything alcoholic barring the occasional ‘taste’ of ours due to all the health guidelines that under 16 is a no no, when he was intrigued by a drink of ours. He doesn’t really have a social circle that parties or anything like that so I know he hasn’t drank before someone comes at me with the “he probably already is” line.

Anyway, DH and I were chatting and wondering if shandies at Christmas (how I was really introduced at about 10) would now be acceptable…it does worry me he’ll suddenly be 18 and it’ll be like a switch. Or did you just stick to 18?

I don't believe in banning alcohol until 16/18. It just makes it this forbidden, exciting thing that they can often go crazy on when they're finally allowed to have some.

We grew up with a bottle of red wine on the dinner table, even as little kids we could have some but only a bit and watered down. None of us are big drinkers as adults.

Let him have a beer with dinner or a glass of wine, take the mystique away.

@pinkyredrose I know what you mean. It’s the mystique side of it that worries me. I stand by not introducing before 16 because the health advice, for the same reason I won’t let them touch energy drinks. So it’s just trying to figure out how to best manage 16-18.

We were always happy for our dcs to try a drink when we had wine with a meal, or, for DH, the occasional Budweiser. We allowed them to have a very small wine with lemonade. Because we never treated alcohol as a forbidden fruit, neither of them went mad when they hit 18. And now, one of them doesn't drink at all, only using alcohol in cooking and the other rarely drinks. For us, the relaxed approach definitely worked.

We never did. We would’ve been fine with them having a beer from about 16, but neither was interested. They didn’t really start drinking until they went to uni.

Like many of their friends (and I think, a lot of middle class youngsters), they drink very little and will routinely have dry months. Several of their mates describe themselves as ‘sober curious’.

My DD15 wasn’t particularly interested even though there is alcohol in the home and she’s had a try of our drinks on occasion. She’s just started going to house parties so we provide her with pre made up drinks ie a couple of gins in a tin. Have spoken to her about the alcohol percentage and that it’s difficult to know measures if they’re just passing a bottle of spirits around. We’ve also said she needs to eat as well! Think it’s going to be an interesting couple of years as she figures out what’s what.

I do agree that it shouldn’t be a forbidden fruit as such.

Even as a young child we always let DD try a sip or two of our drinks, and would toast with a tiny amount on special occasions. We let her have a glass of wine with us when out at restaurants etc starting when she was around 15. At that point she was starting to go to parties - we would provide weak drinks like Smirnoff Ice, cider etc but never anything stronger. She definitely did have access to spirits via friends though so if she had wanted to go crazy she could’ve… thankfully never happened!!

She’s 22 now - although she certainly does enjoy a drink alongside some occasional ‘messy’ nights out she’s pretty sensible. We’ve never had any emergency pick ups or hospital trips like so many of her friends seem to have had..

@caveheatblank Does he not have a view on this? Does he want anything alcoholic or not? If he’s not bothered, leave it until the legal age. He doesn’t sound interested but you want to force him into it? A bit odd.

Op would he really like a drink or is it the forbidden thing that's exciting for him?

Tbh NHS health guidelines are very dated, I'm with you on the energy drinks, they're horrific. I'd much rather give them a glass of wine.

Just ask him if he'd like a drink, just the one though.

Ps. It's not actually illegal to drink under 16.

I let mine work it out for himself. I think the first pint I bought him was when he was almost 16 at a wedding. He didn't get into alcohol until the following summer so almost 17. No mystique here, I never banned it but didn't make a big thing of him being allowed it at a certain age or something. I can see why you're overthinking it though given your parents' crazy approach.

I meant legal age for buying a drink with friends. Many dc start drinking this way and it’s perfectly normal to wait. Not everyone likes wine or shandy either. Why can he not choose what he wants to do?

@MeetMeOnTheCorner yes that would be odd so I don’t know why you jumped to that, he’s interested, otherwise no I wouldn’t have started this thread. He’s asked when he’ll be allowed his own drink and not just taste.

There’s been quite a bit come out recently how harmful alcohol is under 16, as I say that’s not up for debate I’ve made that decision, and he’s 16 next month anyway. So just curious as to what others have done 16-18.

Why are you trying so hard to make leaps I haven’t said exactly what we will or won’t offer him, I’m just pontificating, did you see this thread and go “oh yay parent here I can jump on, I’m going to make wild assumptions on the brief post they did and make judgements” I mean is this fun for you? Entertainment? I really thought I’d worded the post safely enough people would just answer the question, but alas no.

I didn’t. It annoys me that we accept that kids need more and more stimulation for their birthday parties up until the age of about 15 then we accept they are just going to stir around and get pissed from that age onwards.

DD1 is 20 and at uni. She and one of her friends drink a bit but not much, she says most of her friends don’t drink at all. They are mostly into sport and fitness stuff: DD2 gets annoyed with some of her friends instagram feeds slamming shots and shrieking.

From what I read, in the UK introducing alcohol from a younger age means kids are more likely to drink, not less. I think it’s the general attribute to drinking in the culture overall that makes a difference in that respect, I gather in Italy there isn’t a binge drinking culture and I would think the kids there do have some alcohol when they are younger.

I think there’s a different culture around drinking compared to when we were young. They’re much more into the gym and fitness these days and that’s not really compatible with the booze. My kids have never been denied it and if they asked I’d always give them some of what we were drinking, but it was always ‘adult’ drinks - wine or beer mostly. It was strictly forbidden to me as a teen and so my friends and I engaged in what I’d call ‘risky’ drinking - getting drunk in the park in the dark, lying to our parents about where we were, going to parties we had no right to be at, etc. My DS and his friends all drive now, and seem to prefer to drive than drink. He’ll sometimes bring a few cans of fruit cider to a party, but half the time he come home with them. There just isn’t the same thrill that we had - it’s not naughty or illicit.

It does my head in when people give their kids booze that tastes less like alcohol
and more like a soft drink because they are younger. I find that real weird, like they are being weaned on to alcohol in the same way you introduce new tastes to babies.

Alcopops average around 4%. That is the reason. Better letting them get used to it with the weak stuff than slamming a bottle of wine/spirit and ending up with alcohol poisoning.

Beer is about 4% too, I’d rather mine had that then something that tastes like a sugary drink they have had at parties their whole childhood

DD is 15, 16 later this year and has been asking for a Buzz Ball which I’ve said no to. It seems to be a TikTok trend. She has had the odd glass of Prosecco or Chambord at family events and I’m sure she’ll start drinking with friends well before she’s 18 but I’m not buying cocktails etc for her just yet. DS is 20 and had never been interested in alcohol but I suspect DD will be completely different!

I’m a grown adult.. I don’t particularly like beer and it has taken DD’s taste buds years to enjoy it. Are you implying that teens should only be drinking ‘real’ stuff to look hard or something?! A drink is a drink.

We always drank socially & didn't hide it from our dds but I'm pretty sure they've seen us drunk on a couple of occasions though it would have been at least 10 years ago as I haven't drunk to excess since then I don't think. Dd1 wasn't interested in alcohol or going out until just after a levels & then it was party central! She went off to uni shortly after & alcohol features v heavily in her weekends. Dd2, 17, has barely touched alcohol. She's not too keen on parties either but will have a few alcopops on the rare occasion she goes to one. Alcohol is freely available in our house but she doesn't touch it. I grew up in the 80s when it was dead easy to get served alcohol. I used to get drunk most weekends from the age of about 16. But I'm not a big drinker at all now

My sons 14, for the past year he’s been allowed a couple of ciders or alcopops in the house with us. We had a party at new year and he and his friends had a couple each (parents all knew and knew I was home). He has occasionally asked if he can have a can of cider to chill with a film and I’ve said yes or no depending on the day, what time it is and why he’s asking.

i know he drinks at friends houses as parents have text to give the heads up that they’ve given the boys a can each but it’s few and far between and thankfully they are all on the same wavelength as we are re alcohol. Let’s not make it forbidden and let’s provide a safe (supervised) environment when they do drink.

My son was always allowed a small glass of wine watered down at meal times from the age of around 6, which was the way I was brought up. And I never denied him a sip of anything I happened to be drinking if he asked. He's never drunk much but does enjoy the odd cold cider in the summer, a whisky or three at Christmas and a glass of wine with food. Pretty much the same as me really, except I can't stand whisky.

WTF?? why would you do that?