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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How have you/did you introduce alcohol to teenagers?

69 replies

caveheatblank · 24/07/2026 16:48

Assuming you did of course. I grew up with parents very keen for me to “get used to it” at home so was drinking Bacardi Breezers at home from about age 13. And was socialising drinking in sixth form out the house. To be fair I grew up with a pretty healthy relationship with alcohol and only really drank (minimally) when socialising right through my uni years to my 30s.

Anyway, my son is turning 16 soon. We’ve not let him have anything alcoholic barring the occasional ‘taste’ of ours due to all the health guidelines that under 16 is a no no, when he was intrigued by a drink of ours. He doesn’t really have a social circle that parties or anything like that so I know he hasn’t drank before someone comes at me with the “he probably already is” line.

Anyway, DH and I were chatting and wondering if shandies at Christmas (how I was really introduced at about 10) would now be acceptable…it does worry me he’ll suddenly be 18 and it’ll be like a switch. Or did you just stick to 18?

OP posts:
bozzabollix · 25/07/2026 07:17

My son is 17 and is probably the most sober amongst us. He drinks but not to massive excess.

We’ve always assumed he’s going to experiment so let him have alcohol. Biggest rule was no spirits which he’s broken a couple of times but hasn’t gone OTT.

My friend’s daughter who has been brought up in a very sheltered way really went for it the other week. Drank every combination under the sun. Ended up in an awful state. I think that’s what happens if they can’t drink around you - they just go mad.

Dontgetstuckinthepast · 25/07/2026 07:33

I didn't. I don't drink or go out apart from work and the gym (lone parent).

My eldest doesn't drink, he's happier at the gym. He meets friends in town but doesn't stay out late when everyone is drinking and getting silly. Youngest doesn't go out full stop.

RedStripeLeaf · 25/07/2026 11:39

Whatever approach you take, and it's very much up to you and your family, please ensure your son has access to basic, factual information, including that alcohol is a Group 1 carcinogen, i.e. in the same class as asbestos, tobacco and radiation.

World Health Organisation (WHO) overview from this page Alcohol and cancer reproduced below.

Overview
The link between alcohol and cancer has been firmly established since 1988, when the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) classified alcohol as a Group 1 carcinogen. Alcohol causes at least 7 types of cancer, affecting the oral cavity, pharynx, larynx, oesophagus, breast (in women), liver and colorectum. Any alcoholic beverage can cause cancer because both ethanol and acetaldehyde, a byproduct created when ethanol is metabolized in the body, are carcinogenic. There are many ways in which alcohol can cause cancer, including through DNA damage, oxidative stress, hormonal changes and gut microbiome changes. Cessation or reduction of alcohol consumption reduces the risk of developing cancer.
Even small amounts of alcohol increase the risk of cancer

  • The more alcohol you drink the higher the risk. However, how much and how fast the risk from drinking alcohol increases differs by cancer type.
  • Alcohol consumption, even at relatively low levels, can cause female breast cancer. In 2020, almost a third of breast cancers caused by alcohol in the WHO European Region resulted from drinking no more than 1–2 alcoholic beverages per day.
Lack of awareness of the link between alcohol and cancer
  • While most people in the WHO European Region correctly identify tobacco smoking as a risk factor for cancer, awareness of the link between alcohol and cancer is much lower, with less than half of Europeans naming alcohol as a risk factor for developing cancer.
  • Awareness differs by cancer type and is particularly low for breast cancer: only 10–20% of people asked about the causes of female breast cancer named alcohol consumption as a cause, while 40% of respondents correctly linked liver cancer to drinking alcohol.
--
orangehandles · 25/07/2026 11:48

Making alcohol a 'forbidden fruit' doesn't work all that well, I don't think. All that does is make them want to go totally overboard with it as soon as they can, and they are incapable of drinking in moderation. The occasional half of shandy is fine for an older teenager, it takes the mystique and desirability away. You can't stop them drinking too much when they are older, but you can introduce it sensibly and in moderation.

Letting them have a drop of dry white wine during Christmas dinner or whenever has the desired effect on children from about 10 - they take one sip and say "Ugh, I don't like it"!

sashh · 25/07/2026 12:03

At 16 he can have a drink in a pub with a meal as long as an over 18 pays for it.

ginasevern · 25/07/2026 12:12

Darkdiamond · 25/07/2026 00:34

Which is why the 'moderation' approach often fails when it is out of context in Britain or Ireland. European children are exposed to small amounts of alcohol at young ages and then co tongue with small amounts with an aperitivo or whatever. The entire social structure is designed for this transition. In Britain and Ireland, the culture is much more attuned to binge drinking meaning that the child that has been introduced to small amounts by well meaning parents, ends up released into a different social world where drinking for drinking's sake is far more prominent.

Yes, that's true. You need the whole cultural structure for the continental attitude to work properly.

MyDarlingRose · 25/07/2026 12:22

Darkdiamond · 25/07/2026 00:28

My well meaning mother exposed me to small amounts of alcohol from a young age like they did 'on the Continent'. She was worried that if she made alcohol a taboo, it would make it more appealing.

She was very wrong. I got a taste for alcohol at a young age and while I would never say that I was an alcoholic, I had a horrendously dysfunctional relationship with alcohol and was a complete pisshead as a result, if I had to out a label on it. I was always up for 'wine o'clock', was the first person to get on the sauce, never knew when to stop and ended up making awful decisions and getting into dangerous situations. I don't drink at all now and I love it. It is such freedom! My husband likes a few beers when watching a match or a glass of wine with dinner.

I don't allow my children to drink l because the oldest is 11. However my message is that alcohol is a poison and needs to be respected and handled very carefully. That some people can have a good time with a few drinks and thats fine. Some people need to have more, and if they are that sort of person they shouldn't drink. I have spoken about the benefits of abstinence as part of a general consensus of treating your body (and mind) kindly.

Alcohol is not an inevitable danger zone that we must acclimatise our children to. The conversation shouldn't be about what type of alcohol we are exposing our teens to but what are we telling and showing our children about the realities of alcohol, good and bad.

I started drinking heavily in my teens to offset social anxiety. I have therfore made a point of throwing my kids into lots of activities (and after family culture) of promoting social confidence and the need to always fit in. We talk about being leaders and making our own social rules for others to follow, rather than the other way around.

My children aren't teens yet and I will go with the flow as it happens but I will not buy into the notion that they need an induction programme to the world of alcohol, bar presenting all of the facts. Teenagers want to try things for themselves so I will play it by ear but once my eyes were open to the fact that alcohol is a false friend that never truly cares about you, I cannot endorse anything other than my own cynical opinion of it.

Other than your kids ages this could be me word for word. Got a taste for it, became a piss head, made terrible decisions, sober completely and so much happier.

Alcohol is not an inevitable. You do not have to drink it in Britain, even with our culture so heavily focused on it. Giving developing bodies alcohol damages them.

MyDarlingRose · 25/07/2026 12:23

orangehandles · 25/07/2026 11:48

Making alcohol a 'forbidden fruit' doesn't work all that well, I don't think. All that does is make them want to go totally overboard with it as soon as they can, and they are incapable of drinking in moderation. The occasional half of shandy is fine for an older teenager, it takes the mystique and desirability away. You can't stop them drinking too much when they are older, but you can introduce it sensibly and in moderation.

Letting them have a drop of dry white wine during Christmas dinner or whenever has the desired effect on children from about 10 - they take one sip and say "Ugh, I don't like it"!

Edited

Oh well go ahead and give your kids cocaine then. Why make it a forbidden fruit?

MyDarlingRose · 25/07/2026 12:24

bozzabollix · 25/07/2026 07:17

My son is 17 and is probably the most sober amongst us. He drinks but not to massive excess.

We’ve always assumed he’s going to experiment so let him have alcohol. Biggest rule was no spirits which he’s broken a couple of times but hasn’t gone OTT.

My friend’s daughter who has been brought up in a very sheltered way really went for it the other week. Drank every combination under the sun. Ended up in an awful state. I think that’s what happens if they can’t drink around you - they just go mad.

You’re pleased that your son, who is too young to legally buy alcohol, only drinks alcohol sometimes and only breaks your rules around alcohol sometimes.

Yeah he’s real straight laced.

ToadRage · 25/07/2026 12:26

My parents encouraged us to try a sip of their wine from a young age. I never took to it and still don't really like wine. My Dad used to buy me cans of lemonade shandy, which loved then i moved on to alcopops from about 16 onwards.

RedStripeLeaf · 25/07/2026 12:35

AImportantMermaid · 24/07/2026 17:26

I think there’s a different culture around drinking compared to when we were young. They’re much more into the gym and fitness these days and that’s not really compatible with the booze. My kids have never been denied it and if they asked I’d always give them some of what we were drinking, but it was always ‘adult’ drinks - wine or beer mostly. It was strictly forbidden to me as a teen and so my friends and I engaged in what I’d call ‘risky’ drinking - getting drunk in the park in the dark, lying to our parents about where we were, going to parties we had no right to be at, etc. My DS and his friends all drive now, and seem to prefer to drive than drink. He’ll sometimes bring a few cans of fruit cider to a party, but half the time he come home with them. There just isn’t the same thrill that we had - it’s not naughty or illicit.

I agree on there being a different culture, at least amongst some demographics, and that some parents who assume alcohol consumption will be a cultural inevitability might find they are out of step with their children's expectations. According to my teen, drinking alcohol is a stupid and uncool thing which is mostly done by dumb, unaware old people. He's interested in his health and fitness and racing, so his immediate culture is pretty aware of health and performance impacts.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 25/07/2026 21:30

@RedStripeLeafThats true. The uk and most northern EU countries, except France, have less drinking amongst the young. We’ve done pretty well! It’s France who is the outlier.

Echobelly · 25/07/2026 21:36

We tried to introduce trying a sip from age 14, a bit like previous posters to make it not 'forbidden fruit' but neither of ours like it much anyway. At 18 our oldest is just starting to drink one or two not-very-alcoholic tasting drinks; they are a bit like me at that age - I didn't really drink anything until I was nearly 18 and am still a light drinker. Both DC and I hate the idea of being so drunk you couldn't pull yourself together in an emergency or at least deal with a change of plans; I've never got that way and suspect they won't either.

Makingsenseofitall · 25/07/2026 23:16

caveheatblank · 24/07/2026 17:17

There’s been quite a bit come out recently how harmful alcohol is under 16, as I say that’s not up for debate I’ve made that decision, and he’s 16 next month anyway. So just curious as to what others have done 16-18.

The evidence I read suggested it continues to be harmful even to 18 and that those to whom alcohol is introduced at a young age are more rather than less likely to drink more into adulthood. The it’s a forbidden thing means it’s a mystery and they will want it more is a misnomer the evidence suggests. So I did absolutely nothing to introduce it and they worked it out for themselves. One of them did start to drink a little bit age 17.5 ish and has a bit at uni (is now 19) and the other one is 21 and still doesn’t drink really. I think people should look at the evidence before making assumptions that not making it a banned thing is the best approach.

YouBelongWithMe · 25/07/2026 23:29

My DS is 19 and utterly uninterested. He's had a one or two, more as an experiment, on his own, to check he didn't like it. He doesn't. He will taste ours sometimes to see, if it's something he's bot tried before. He's not liked one. He is also T1 diabetic so I am v glad he has chosen not to drink, as it's much safer for him.

DD is 17 and is allowed the odd cider at home if she fancies it. If I'm making a cocktail at home she can try it and have her own if she wants. She's only drank socially with her friends twice. Both times she informed me beforehand, only had cider and only had two or three. I'm sure there will be nights of messiness to come but, touch wood, she's far more sensible than I was at that age.

Other DD is 14. She's allowed to taste drinks. On hols she had one can of cider to join in, when everyone was having a social drink.

Definitely encouraging savouring drinks, only drinking things you enjoy, slowing down to know how it effects you and also modelling healthy relationships with alcohol. We (DH and I) do not drink often - once a month maybe, and only two or three drinks. Perhaps more frequently in summer hols/Christmas but never consuming a lot.

pinkpony88 · 26/07/2026 00:04

I don’t actually ever remember a time when I wasn’t allowed alcohol at home. We used to have Pimms in summer before Sunday lunch as children but obviously my Dad made it weak. I was always allowed to try something if I wanted to. I’m not sure if this is as a result of that but I can take or leave alcohol and will have a glass of something about 4 times a year. I wouldn’t care less if I could never drink ever again. My Sister is the same.

Cece92 · 26/07/2026 00:10

TattiePants · 24/07/2026 17:47

DD is 15, 16 later this year and has been asking for a Buzz Ball which I’ve said no to. It seems to be a TikTok trend. She has had the odd glass of Prosecco or Chambord at family events and I’m sure she’ll start drinking with friends well before she’s 18 but I’m not buying cocktails etc for her just yet. DS is 20 and had never been interested in alcohol but I suspect DD will be completely different!

Your sensible I had 1 buzz ball and was drunk 😂 I’m not a drinker but fancied one of the passion fruit martinis. Those things are so strong 😂😂

Denim4ever · 26/07/2026 00:13

DS made his own decision to not start drinking until he was 18. I think I was offered 'a drop' of wine with Christmas dinner age 14 but probably only because I had a much older brother who'd already gone through uni at that point. I don't recall ever thinking it was a parental responsibility to introduce alcohol. To explain what it is and not to drink too much of it, yes, but not to have a training programme for drinking it. If they are intelligent enough to understand the concept then they can make up their own minds if they want to drink when it's age appr - 16 onwards

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 26/07/2026 18:18

I think though that some dc still do really like drinking and get drunk regularly. I really wonder if it’s genetic. In the family. They see others boozing all the time, so join in. Some definitely go mad at uni, but others obviously don’t. Therefore I think personality and family habits matter.

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