How have you/did you introduce alcohol to teenagers?

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Assuming you did of course. I grew up with parents very keen for me to “get used to it” at home so was drinking Bacardi Breezers at home from about age 13. And was socialising drinking in sixth form out the house. To be fair I grew up with a pretty healthy relationship with alcohol and only really drank (minimally) when socialising right through my uni years to my 30s.

Anyway, my son is turning 16 soon. We’ve not let him have anything alcoholic barring the occasional ‘taste’ of ours due to all the health guidelines that under 16 is a no no, when he was intrigued by a drink of ours. He doesn’t really have a social circle that parties or anything like that so I know he hasn’t drank before someone comes at me with the “he probably already is” line.

Anyway, DH and I were chatting and wondering if shandies at Christmas (how I was really introduced at about 10) would now be acceptable…it does worry me he’ll suddenly be 18 and it’ll be like a switch. Or did you just stick to 18?

Do you think beer makes people look hard? No, I don’t just don’t like ann approach where the emphasis is on getting a teenager used to the feeling of being pissed while drinking something that tastes exactly like lemonade. I just find it really unsettling and I’m sharing that opinion on a public message board where others are obviously going to have an alternative view. I think that’s what makes life interesting.

An alcopop is unsettling? Must be a sheltered existence!

Personally, I’d find it a whole lot more unsettling if my child had alcohol poisoning from going mad on the ‘proper’ stuff with no prior exposure but each to their own.

Out of interest, are you also afraid of cocktails?

For my older DS he started having a cider occasionally at 14. My younger DS had his first alcoholic drink at 16 - his choice. If going to parties from 16 they would have 4 cans of cider max.

I put a lot of thought into this as my exDH, their DF is an alcoholic. I was concerned that if I made it forbidden then it would develop an unhealthy relationship.

Both are older now and I'm happy with how they use alcohol, but they are both acutely aware that they have the gene and I think this influences the way that they are now.

What? It's common in Italy and I believe in France too. Kids are allowed a very small amount of wine diluted with water at evening meal times. Those countries don't have anything remotely like the issues with alcohol you have in the UK. None of my Italian family or friends have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, in fact they can take it or leave it. I should qualify that, when I refer to my son drinking a couple of whiskies at Christmas, he is now nearly 50..

Probably not as afraid as you seem to be of beer.

DS is nearly 18 and he’s never been interested. He had a glass of cider on New Year’s Eve, but has not asked for anything since. I genuinely don’t believe he’s getting alcohol anywhere else either.

DH and I are not against drinking at, we just don’t drink a lot. Might share a bottle of wine over the course of a weekend, but not ever weekend.

DD (nearly 15) is similar. I think their school has done such a good job on not drinking to excess, they’ve scared them into sobriety. I’d really like DS to have his first hangover at home rather than away somewhere though!

They have always been able to try our drinks and from about 16 have been able to have a drink with Christmas/easter dinner and occasional evenings. 18 yr old went out with friends drinking for the first time last week and seemed to do it sensibly. I think it has helped seeing how much my mum drinks ( I drink v little now but drank a lot as a teen) and not wanting to be like that.

Mine introduced themselves without me having to manage it. By 16 they both had a taste for wine, it was served at dinner in our home and in their friends houses too. Dd2 had a taste for cider too, must be from friends as we didn’t drink it. Several of their friends has substantial wine cellars (we did not!)

I’ve just started allowing my DD15 an occasional cider eg at a summer barbecue. She’s more curious about alcohol than interested per se, she sees her dad and I have a glass of wine with dinner and she’s has Prosecco for a toast on celebrations.

Im not buying alcohopops any time soon because I don’t want her drinking alcohol that tastes like lemonade. I think alcohol is an acquired taste and it’s ok not to like the taste, but then you just don’t drink. Because you don’t like the taste.

I bought cheap very low alcohol lager and let them have a couple of cans on the weekend, plus a glass of wine with Sunday lunch . The more you deny the more teens want to try.

Went a different way with mine. Told them alcohol was fine but moored them to wait until mid 20’s due to brain development and gave them ample evidence. Luckily anything health related, they actually listen to me as I know what I’m talking about. All of them but one agreed it was sensible and went down that path, and then come mid 20’s seems no one can be bothered drinking. The majority of their friends don’t drink either, seems common these days.

The one that drank at 18yo, had a few occasions where they had too much and was sick as a dog. That taught a natural lesson seems they were keen not to repeat. They were also drink spiked and hospitalised (luckily friends and bar staff picked it up really quickly as was noticed half way through their first drink). So, they don’t have much and not frequently, and now have a distrust of drinking when out, so tend to favour sealed bottled water in most situations.

Mine didn’t have alcohol until they were 18. Now in their 20s they have a very much take it or leave it attitude. A lot of their friends are very similar.

So my mum is a recovering alcoholic (wasnt alcoholic until i was about 14) and my dad has basically never met a wine he didnt like (never really got drunk) I also didnt see my parents drunk until I was 14.
I grew up from age of 3 having tastes then glasses watered down then alcohol bought for me. I still was out in parks with a bottle bought between friends at 15. Alcohol was so normalised in my house that drinking it in unsafe places didnt seem wrong. I did alot of drinking when I was 18 slowed down when I was 20 and basically stopped at 24 and had kids. Now I hardly drink its just not for me. Occasional cider in beer garden in summer.
My brother is alcoholic too just started aa last week (hooray!)

My point is i dont think how you introduce it makes much of a difference.
DD is 16 and just started having tastes when I occasionally do have anything. she goes to parties and sleep overs so shes maybe tried alot more but has never been stupid with it

Should say dd 17 cant edit**

DS started having a beer occasionally when he was about 14 at family occasions and parties, then when he was about 16 he would have a beer/wine with us if we were drinking at home (on a normal Friday night for example) and now he’s 17 he doesn’t seem that bothered by it at all. We give him beer to take to parties with his mates and he’ll drink if we’re having a party but he very rarely asks for a beer on a friday if we’re all staying in and DH and I are having a drink. I’ve only ever seen him absolutely wasted once and I think the hangover put him off! He will drink a bit more if he’s home alone with his GF/mates

We're Muslim so no alcohol. We've never had it ourselves as well.

Does he want it? My DD (21) has no desire to drink. My son (22) had definitely drunk a fair bit by 16!
If so then yea, a beer or glass of wine (though be never met a teen who actually likes wine) seems fair enough.

In France there is harmful youth drinking. It’s the uk where harmful drinking has declined. Studies find French young drinkers continue to drink in exactly the same numbers and of course some are problem drinkers. They do indeed have a strong connection to alcohol in France and that’s thought to be the issue. We’ve been doing much better.

I don’t think how you introduce them to it or not makes much difference. From my time in AA - alcoholism is trauma + genetics + a little bit cultural environment. But mostly the first two, I’d argue genetics above all.

From 14 - own tiny glass of champagne at new year, mini glass of wine with a meal when asked (both usually not drunk) - swig of our beer and the recent highlight- a whole can of Inch’s cider at a friend’s bbq. (I would have given half a can but hubs was more liberal.)
Also warned of the dangers of spirits.
So far it has worked as recently her friends got drunk on vodka and she had a few sips (and clearly wasn’t impaired when I picked her up.)

DS1 is almost 15, we have let him try small sips of wine and beer if he’s wanted to but told him it wasn’t healthy to drink until he’s older. He’s now had a cider and a shandy but doesn’t seem that bothered. We have tried to model healthy drinking at home, glass of wine with dinner or a G&T in the garden kind of thing so hopefully that’s taken the transgressive interest out of it for him.

With my eldest I sort of let them have weaker alcoholic drinks in small amounts on special occasions from maybe 13/14. I used to get them a 4 pack of weak fruity cider for example if they were having a party and ask them to have a soft drink in between and pace themselves etc. Neither have turned massively to drink, they don’t drink in the house and only if they’re out on a night out so I guess we achieved what we wanted to.

My views have changed as I’ve aged (as they do) and the youngest ones I plan on discouraging entirely. It’s poison for your body and I don’t care what anyone says. We’ll see which method works best in about 10 years I should think 😂

My well meaning mother exposed me to small amounts of alcohol from a young age like they did 'on the Continent'. She was worried that if she made alcohol a taboo, it would make it more appealing.

She was very wrong. I got a taste for alcohol at a young age and while I would never say that I was an alcoholic, I had a horrendously dysfunctional relationship with alcohol and was a complete pisshead as a result, if I had to out a label on it. I was always up for 'wine o'clock', was the first person to get on the sauce, never knew when to stop and ended up making awful decisions and getting into dangerous situations. I don't drink at all now and I love it. It is such freedom! My husband likes a few beers when watching a match or a glass of wine with dinner.

I don't allow my children to drink l because the oldest is 11. However my message is that alcohol is a poison and needs to be respected and handled very carefully. That some people can have a good time with a few drinks and thats fine. Some people need to have more, and if they are that sort of person they shouldn't drink. I have spoken about the benefits of abstinence as part of a general consensus of treating your body (and mind) kindly.

Alcohol is not an inevitable danger zone that we must acclimatise our children to. The conversation shouldn't be about what type of alcohol we are exposing our teens to but what are we telling and showing our children about the realities of alcohol, good and bad.

I started drinking heavily in my teens to offset social anxiety. I have therfore made a point of throwing my kids into lots of activities (and after family culture) of promoting social confidence and the need to always fit in. We talk about being leaders and making our own social rules for others to follow, rather than the other way around.

My children aren't teens yet and I will go with the flow as it happens but I will not buy into the notion that they need an induction programme to the world of alcohol, bar presenting all of the facts. Teenagers want to try things for themselves so I will play it by ear but once my eyes were open to the fact that alcohol is a false friend that never truly cares about you, I cannot endorse anything other than my own cynical opinion of it.

Which is why the 'moderation' approach often fails when it is out of context in Britain or Ireland. European children are exposed to small amounts of alcohol at young ages and then co tongue with small amounts with an aperitivo or whatever. The entire social structure is designed for this transition. In Britain and Ireland, the culture is much more attuned to binge drinking meaning that the child that has been introduced to small amounts by well meaning parents, ends up released into a different social world where drinking for drinking's sake is far more prominent.

DD1 (now 20) didn’t drink at all while
still at school so would be one of the few sober ones at house parties. She says she’s really glad about this because she got used to dealing with that environment sober and found she could have a good time and a laugh without being pissed which she says was a useful lesson learned.

They've been allowed sips of my husband's drinks (I don't drink) since they were 14 or so, if they asked - whiskey and coke, gin and tonic, beer, or cider. But they invariably don't like the taste, and it seems they're just not interested in drinking.

My son recently turned 18 and I offered him a small glass of wine with his birthday dinner as we'd bought it for cooking, and he was still disinterested - "I'm teetotal, Mum. Better just not to start an expensive, unhealthy habit."

Statistically, a lot of young people these days aren't as keen on drinking, and I don't see any reason to encourage them.