What options do I have? 15 year old son bad behaviour in school. Toll on us is huge

[Helpw0383]

My son is 15. He has horrendous problems in school. Hes always struggled with the classroom environment. Teachers and us think adhd but cahms will never accept referall as he does so well outside of school. Its extremely frustrating.
Anyway, his behaviour in school has now deteriorated to the point hes barely in lessons. His relationship with the teachers is breaking down.
Every day he gets detentions, isolation and is on report. He doesnt attend any detentions and does no homework.
Im not just saying this , other people will back up what im saying including teachers. When he is not in a classroom he is great. Perfect on school trips. Perfect on work experience. Great outside of school.
Even though he doesnt cause us problems at home, the stress of the school situation transfers into the home.
My husband and I are both working professionals with qualifications etc and we just can't relate to this behaviour. Weve tried ignoring and punishing but nothing works. He repeats alot of the behaviours.
He is in year 10. I honestly don't know how we are going to get through the next 12 months. He is going to fail every gcse. We just want him to pass english and maths at grade 4. I would be happy with that
What can we do to help this situation? I dont want advice or tips on the behaviour as us, counsellors, family, friends and teachers have all tried to help and nothing works.he is also massively triggered by other badly behaved students of which there are lot of in his classes. Hes in bottom sets. Was in top sets and is capable of that.
He has mocks coming up, they will be able disaster. Any time he sits a test he cant keep quiet etc. Ive asked for him to do them elsewhere.
I cant homeschool him as he doesnt engage at home. Didnt during covid. Was running round the room. And like I say doesnt do homework.
I am positive that hes going to get expelled.

Is there anything we can do? There is a sen hub in the school that he wants to go to, but he doesnt have an actual diagnosis?
Reduced timetable?
If we pulled him out is there anywhere else he could go? Such as a college? We are in the midlands.
My husband and I are heading for divorce and its largely due to this. The stress is incredible. I have school ringing me every day. Husband is so frustrated he just says hes naughty and has given up. Please help

That sounds very positive OP. Please also request an EHCNA ASAP. The info is below. It sounds like you have lots of evidence. Your son should be seen by an educational psychologist as part of the process. If your local authority refuse to assess, appeal.

Asking for an EHC needs assessment | (IPSEA) Independent Provider of Special Education Advice https://share.google/YPSm0VWgmj1UCLP44

www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs/5484488-ehcp-support-thread-no-6?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

All sounds great OP and very similar to what worked for my daughter. I had a battle with science due to it being “core”, so I’m glad they’ve been relaxed about that.

id also suggest some mental health days. When I knew my daughter was escalating, it was inevitable that she would be suspended if I didn’t get her out of the situation. So I would keep her off the next day, or even a few days, for her to just clear her headspace. In the absence report I would state “mental health day” and I would never receive a call or welfare check. I didn’t let her fester in her room on those days. I would encourage her to talk, take her for walks or lunch. We would do some revision cards together. Just me and her. Her overall attendance for year 10 and 11 was 82% but we did come away with some passes.