I won't go into too much background but my daughter has been seeing her boyfriend for 2 weeks. They were in primary school together and they reconnected in year 10 after my daughter moved from an all girls school to a mixed school.
The messages on snapchat between them are very concerning. He is telling he he can't be without her he wants her to go to his house everyday. I told her no she could go some days she needed other interests and she can't sit in his house 3-10pm every school night. His parents are fine with this.
She ran away last Thursday from the house during an amber weather warning. I suspected she'd gone to his house I went there. There was no answer I came home to phone the police but his Mother then messaged me to say she was there she was safe and could stay. I told her no and she was to send her out as I told her she was not to go out and there was snow. They live a 15 minute drive away.
She was kept in all over the weekend with no phone. Monday I allowed her to go there on the basis she would not be there 'every night' she messaged me from there saying his Mum said she could sleep over. I said no this isn't appropriate. I made her come home at 9pm as she had homework and needed a bath. This caused no end of issues.
Tuesday during the school day she sent me 400 messages begging to go there. I had to block her phone.
She came home spent all night making threats. I left the room and went to bed to avoid confrontation as she was just arguing with me. At 10.45 I woke up and she was awake. I told her to go to bed. At this point she rung her boyfriend was ranting and raving telling me she was moving out. I left the room during which time she was screaming she was scared of me. I told her if she left the house I would call the police.
At 11.40pm she ran out of the house and into the lane behind my house which is unlit. I got in my car and drove around to find her she wasn't there. Her life 360 had been turned off on the main road where I was parked. I drove around for 5 minutes, rung her she blocked me. My Mum lives in the next street I woke her up and we went to this boys house.
I knocked the door. No answer I got a Facebook message off the Mother telling me my daughter was there would be staying and would come home tomorrow and if I wanted to call the police I could.
I knocked again they refused to let me see her and told me to leave. I rung the police.
The police attended immediately told me that she wanted to stay but they would remove her if I wanted.
I don't know these people really she was made to come home. The Mother told the police I was abusive to my daughter and that they picked her up as they were concerned she was in danger and they took her home.
I was livid but didn't say anything if they had concerns surely the appropriate route would have been the police.
I came home sent my daughter to bed and removed her devices. I have been through them and whilst she was there it is clear there was some sexual contact between the two of them they are allowed in a third floor room unsupervised with the door closed. They are teenagers this isn't appropriate at 14.
Furthermore, in the messages was this boyfriend telling her his parents said to leave and they would collect her. I managed to look at her maps on her phone and they picked her up at the bottom of my street it was all planned and it took them 30 minutes to even tell me where she was. I kept her phone yesterday but she must have signed in on snap on someone elses at school. There were 300 messages between them that concern me.
They are very codependent he is saying he can't live without seeing her he is nothing without her. She is telling him she will be with him forever. She wants to go there Friday.
I have told her no. I am not stopping her seeing him but I do not want her in his house. The parents have no rules or boundaries and after what they did I have concerns.
The boy has depression and anxiety he has been having therapy since primary school he never goes out apart from the school.
I just don't know what to do here. My daughter is neglecting her school work she is in set 1 for everything and I want her to do well. She won't listen to me she has been telling him I am beating her he is telling her his parents will get her.
Social services were not much help they told me they don't believe what she is saying. The police gave her a stern talking to about leaving the house without permission putting herself at risk.
I feel I have no control here and I don't know what to do.