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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Son’s friend thrown out, wwyd?

138 replies

MrsJPBP · 28/12/2025 20:35

My son’s friend is just 18, and has rocked up at my house today in a complete state saying his mum has thrown him out - he has only the clothes he’s wearing. He was previously in care due to physical/emotional abuse by his mum but was returned home against his will just before he turned 18 so has no leaving care support. Apparently they had a big argument because he didn’t do the washing up when she asked him, and so she threw him out at 2am, and he was wandering the streets and went to his former carer’s house but he couldn’t stay there.

I’ve literally had to take him to the shops to buy him some clothes (he was filthy) and toiletries as he was too scared to go home with me to get his things. He’s now in my spare room. I don’t have any contact details for his mum and I only know which road he lives in, not which house. He has no money. He goes to college and doesn’t have a job.

What on earth do I do here?!

OP posts:

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Daytimetellyqueen · 31/12/2025 17:33

You’ve been amazing @MrsJPBP - well done for going far above & beyond! Happy New Year!

TeaRoseTallulah · 31/12/2025 17:46

Oh wow, he will remember your kindness for the rest of his life OP. I hope next year is kinder to him.

cobrakaieaglefang · 31/12/2025 17:56

@MrsJPBPThants great news OP! Im so glad, so many young people are just given a sleeping bag and told to get on with it! This must be one of the few times 'care' has actually stepped up.
I've known plenty of young men even with mental health problems be left to it.

HoppityBun · 31/12/2025 18:00

Contact his former social care team as he might be entitled to leaving and after care services. Apologies if this has already been suggested.

HelenaWilson · 31/12/2025 19:35

Excellent outcome, op.

I think it would be worth e-mailing his college with an update, so they are aware and can see if there's any further support they can give him.

Chinsupmeloves · 31/12/2025 19:42

Poor boy, glad you've made him feel welcome. Of course get in touch with SS ASAP, which will have been mentioned i know before I get told off for being a zombie 🧟‍♀️!

Meanwhile, can he stay with you? My parents did the same thing for more than one friend of my siblings. Xx

TheMerryWidow1 · 31/12/2025 20:42

What a lovely person you are xxxx

CornishTiger · 01/01/2026 07:54

MrsJPBP · 31/12/2025 17:15

Just got home - delivered him to his new emergency accommodation! Due to his age and vulnerabilities they’ve given him a nice, secure studio flat so he doesn’t have to share facilities and he has his own bathroom and kitchenette. It was very modern and clean and furnished, I was pleased. Completely bare and empty though, so we have managed to drum up some pots, pans, utensils, crockery/cutlery, duvet/pillows/sheets, some basic cleaning stuff, a warm coat (he didn’t have one!!) and a quick basic food shop. It’s in a great location. He is very happy not to be forced back to mum, he was beside himself that he was somewhere safe and all his own.

I have done his housing benefit forms and housing register application. Council seem to have stepped up which is good news. I have warned him that it’s lovely to rebuild a relationship with his mum but he doesn’t have to tell her where he is and that he definitely needs to not give her any money. Adult social care have responded to my referral saying they will link up with housing and the leaving care team to do an assessment as they were also concerned about financial abuse. I think it’s lucky actually that he’s a care leaver as I can imagine any other young person who wasn’t wouldn’t have had the same response.

so although I felt like a total shit this morning, I feel really good he’s ended the day so happy. Thank you for the hand holding and advice! I am still concerned about how this will play out and his mum manipulating him but I think I have done all I reasonably can at this point.

Super pleased he’s been accommodated. Also very pleased to hear it’s self contained and more than a hostel-hotel room.

Now the hard work begins. Need to get him accepted as main duty and permanent accomadation found.

Flibbertyfloo · 03/01/2026 21:44

What a lovely update. He's very lucky to.have had you to help him.

Delphinium20 · 03/01/2026 22:03

My DH and I did something similar for a 17 yr boy and he still thanks us to this day. He’s kept a job and proudly bought a car a few years ago. He’s 22 now and doing well. While this has been a lot for you(I get it, he lived in our home 4 months and it was stressful) you are an angel and have done a very good thing.

blankcanvas3 · 03/01/2026 22:05

Fantastic news OP, well done you and I hope he’s okay xxx

caringcarer · 03/01/2026 22:10

You've done a great job getting the council to hous him somewhere safe OP. A huge well done. You were kind to loan him money too to buy food. Hopefully once back at college they can also give him a bursary. They can also issue free lunch vouchers to him. He will need to fill out bursary form and ask for lunch vouchers.

Witcherwitcher · 04/01/2026 17:41

Brilliant outcome. You are a lovely caring person.

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