DD does not want to come on another caravan holiday next summer

[Charlotte350]

Have been discussing family holidays over dinner today and my DD going on 15 said "if it's another caravan holiday to Mabel thorpe I'm not coming" she stated how much she hates it and I said well in that case you will have to stay with grandparents...she then said "I would be happy staying at home and just have a few friends over and I said no and tbh she was really rude and back chatting me while I said calmly what my reasons were. I think she should come on the holiday, however I don't want her spoiling it with moodiness if she doesn't want to be there so I will be asking grandparents to have her it would only be for the week. I'm not leaving a 15 year old home alone for a week. Has anyone else left a teenager with a relative/ grandparents while on holiday when they don't want to go?

When we had the holiday discussion last year with my DD's age 11 & 13, they didn't want a caravan holiday as they felt too old which me and DH had kinda guessed. I would ask your DD grandparents if she could stay with them and take the younger ones. Win win for everyone providing grandparents are okay with her staying and it saves the arguments.

Ill be damned if I teach my daughter to not speak up when she is unhappy.

Fair enough. Wouldn't have thought much room in them

As much as I agree that she shouldn’t be left home alone for a week at 15, I do understand where she’s coming from.

When I was that age, my mum used to book similar holidays and I had two much younger siblings, so it was very geared towards them. Even now, my mum will book these caravan holidays for the whole family, including grandkids, nieces, nephews, etc.

She honestly has such a short memory because it was a stressful nightmare then and it’s the same now. I’m in my 40s now and I just decline each invitation because I always hated it.

All I have are memories of being stuck in close quarters with hyper toddlers arguing, my mum being stressed, and the weather being shit. Very few 15 year olds will enjoy that.

I think it’s unfair that you will leave her at grandparents, the holiday is for her too not just the younger children.
Why not pick someplace else & leave her bring a friend , or has she a cousin close in age she is friendly with ?

Threatened 😂

I agree with this. Just because she doesn’t want to go to that particular place, doesn’t mean she won’t enjoy a holiday.

The UK is full of caravan parks with activities that suit all age groups, so maybe it’s worth a chat to see if there’s a compromise to be had.

No, that was me expressing myself badly. I meant that she left me in charge of running the house, cooking meals, etc., for my father, sister, and looking after the animals.

As a teen I ruined several holidays for my parents because they insisted I went. Don’t know why they did it to themselves.

I take it quite personal when I’m accused(especially by a childless person) of being unfair for making my children do things that they don’t want to do as if you know my set up.

youre wrong in saying making them do things will not make them a better person. There are studies that back up the social differences between kids that are indulged & those that are made to feel mild inconveniences. Tbe indulged struggle more with personal relationships once they’ve left school. The OP do 2 holidays a year. One in which the older child wants are met & the younger siblings have less freedom to run about etc.

This happened when I was 16. I didnt want to go on a caravan holiday so I told my parents I couldnt get the time off work and they would have to leave me at home. This was the 1960s and things were a lot more casual then so far as parenting was concerned. Instead my mother said she would ask the neighbour to keep an eye on me but therewas really no need. I aksed female friends around for a couple of evenings but there were no wild parties for neighbours to snitch about. I never went on holiday with my parents again.

Let her take a friend and go to a Haven or similar park. There’s loads to
do for everyone and it’s safe enough that you can let them do their own thing while
you look after the little ones.

My kids are not spoilt by any stretch of the imagination, but they balked at the touring caravan when they were 11 & 13 for space and privacy reasons. They absolutely loved cheap Haven breaks though, as we always booked a big enough caravan that they had their own rooms.

Hi OP, not read the full thread, so apologies if this has been suggested. First of all, I bloody love Mablethorpe! My parents have a caravan there, have since we were little, so had MANY holidays there over the years.

Have you looked at Butlins in Ingoldmells? I went there for the first time last October, and have now been 3 times. The first was me, my 16 and 12 year old, the second was full family (me, husband and 19 year old at uni as well as the younger 2 who are now 17 & 13). Then my 13 year old and I went again by ourselves in October. If you can get the dates right, it’s not massively expensive - and you can get a room or apartment rather than a caravan. Be warned, it’s a bit run down in the rooms (but might make your DD appreciate the caravan a bit more) but they have good facilities for the younger kids, loads of shows and entertainment for all ages, plenty of places to eat and drink, plus your a 5 min bus ride/20 min walk from Fantasy Island.

I think I’ve been fortunate that none of the boys have ever said they don’t want to come on a family holiday - my eldest is 20 now and he’s been talking about where we might go next summer, so he’s definitely still up for coming! I don’t know what the trick is to getting them to ge enthusiastic though, I think I got lucky. We only ever tend to do UK caravan style holidays, or if we can get a very cheap week we might go to Center Parcs.

I can imagine nothing worse than going back to the same mundane campsite every year. Poor kid must be bored to tears.

Butlins is a lot more expensive than camping. A 15 year old would need to go in school holidays so you'd struggle to get the ‘right’ price for possible dates.

But it would absolutely suit a teen better. We go with another family of teen's the same age so they swim, go cart, fairground togethet.

I think sharing a caravan with parents and younger siblings at the age of fifteen sounds horrendous. She has outgrown that sort of holiday, you must accept that. Going back to the same place all the time is a bit naff too but the younger ones will enjoy it.

A fifteen year old needs to be with other teenagers and requires some private space.

Our school has 2 weeks that other areas don’t have as holidays, so we found quite a reasonable price (in July it was just over £300 for 5 of us (4 classes as adults), in October it was £84 for 2 of us). So it’s definitely possible if your school holiday dates fall correctly. I went through reading after I posted and saw the added info that it wasn’t a static caravan holiday (I had assumed it was that) but a towing caravan - so if it’s a cost thing then Butlins is unlikely to be an option. Just thought it might have been a nice compromise and would still have catered for her younger kids.

I think you've fallen into the trap of thinking about, seeing and treating your teenage daughter as being the same as your little kids.

She isn't - she's a very different being now.

She's moving on in her development - but you're still stuck in 'parenting the littles' mode, and it will pull you apart.

Instead of trying to get her to change, adapt, squish herself back into the amenable little girl you may wish she still was, the changing and adapting and evolving in thinking and behaviour needs to be consciously done by you.

https://www.yourmodernfamily.com/parenting-a-teenage-girl/

It’s not her choice to make. Either she goes to grandparents or they come and stay with her. A 15 year old should not be left for a week and no, you don’t want a moody teenager spoiling the holiday. Have you thought about asking where she’d like to go on a caravan holiday. It seems you go to the same place every year. Maybe everyone needs a change

Could you not bring a friend of hers