DD does not want to come on another caravan holiday next summer

[Charlotte350]

Have been discussing family holidays over dinner today and my DD going on 15 said "if it's another caravan holiday to Mabel thorpe I'm not coming" she stated how much she hates it and I said well in that case you will have to stay with grandparents...she then said "I would be happy staying at home and just have a few friends over and I said no and tbh she was really rude and back chatting me while I said calmly what my reasons were. I think she should come on the holiday, however I don't want her spoiling it with moodiness if she doesn't want to be there so I will be asking grandparents to have her it would only be for the week. I'm not leaving a 15 year old home alone for a week. Has anyone else left a teenager with a relative/ grandparents while on holiday when they don't want to go?

Are the little ones half/step siblings? Is there a step parent in the picture too? I can see why she would be reluctant to go on a holiday which has nothing for her age range and be in a cramped caravan with small children, just because it's what suits what she may see as your 'new family's, I can't imagine she feels hugely considered .

In confused why your priority is to return to this specific campsite rather than finding a holiday that appeals to the whole family, are her feelings not valid? Especially if she's prepared to go to Wales, it's not like she is 'too cool ' to holiday with you, just this one is so awful to her mind that she'd rather miss out all together - in that situation I would be looking for alternatives that might appeal to the whole family!

Also Team Daughter here.

Definitely don’t leave her home alone or with “supervision” as she will have a “gathering.” This is not a good thing!

Absolutely. Why do the little ones needs take priority over your daughter. I am guessing these are her half siblings? Mobile homes are awful for anyone over 12 as there is no privacy. Surely all the family has input?

I absolutely see her point. I would also be bored going to the same place every year. Why are you being so rigid with your plans?

If it’s a quick drive, could she come for a couple of nights - perhaps with a friend - and spend the rest of the time with the grandparents? At this age, friends are so important to them and family just isn’t so it’s probably a combination of not wanting to be away from her friends along with not wanting to go on a caravan holiday with younger siblings.

I don't blame her

It's our towing caravan we take. The little ones from age 10, 6, and my youngest 2

You completely ignored the poster's question.

Why do the little ones needs take priority over your daughter?

The fact that it's a towing caravan means there's probably even less space than a static caravan. But no matter what type of caravan it is, your daughter has clearly had enough. I really don't blame her. Being stuck in a confined space with 3 other children + 1 / 2 adults isn't anyone's idea of an enjoyable holiday. Especially if you're visiting a place you've been to numerous times before.

I put my foot down about caravan holidays at that age too. I stayed at home on my own (and certainly didn't have any parties) . At least let her arrange to stay at a friend's.

She'll be 15 by the hols, says OP

I was in the same position as your daughter. Much younger siblings and everything was geared round them. Same camping holiday every flipping year because it was easy and familiar. Deadly dull. Started staying home at 15. What exactly would you expect her to do if she went? Apart from shut up, not whinge, and help?

I agree that she is not unreasonable.

Can you go somewhere else? Can she bring a friend? Stay with a friend instead of GPs?

I would try and make an effort to understand and find a solution so she knows her wishes matter.

I can’t understand why you are fighting with her about this now. Unless you are going in the winter. I’d have said ‘well, let’s see how you feel later next year’ if you are completely welded to maplethorpe. But really I would have asked her what she would like to do in the holidays instead.

Could she at least sleep in a separate tent to have some private space? And an agreement to have a least 1 day where she does something she wants offsite

4 children and two adults in a touring caravan? No wonder she is fighting back.

I loved our family holidays in our tourer when I was a child but we stopped going when me and my sister where 11/13 because from a privacy POV my parents realised it was getting to a point of being less than ideal.

She's old enough to reject a holiday like this now. Make other arrangements for her.

This. It just isnt fun.

God, that sounds miserable for a teenager.

I think if you want to insist she comes on family holidays you have to do something she has a chance of enjoying.

Yeah we do that for her, she has a little tent in the awning so she gets more space

I'm with your daughter.

Can't you do something else that would appeal to her more?

Why are the only options caravan holiday or stay at home/with family.

Give her the budget and the criteria i.e must be suitable for the little ones, must be no more than 2 hours away or whatever then let her find something she would like.

The clue is in the title "family holiday" sounds like she has previously gone along with what you have wanted to do and is trying to ask for a holiday she would enjoy more. Not unreasonable really.

She’s outgrown it.

can you ask her what she would love to do? Somewhere with more to do for a teen?

somewhere with a pool and more grown up bars/restaurants - even if she can’t drink of course they are starting to be more interested in going out

team daughter - especially with a touring caravan!! wheres the privacy?

can you hire a bigger static/lodge/cottage?

thats a lot of people for a small space for a teen - no wonder shewants to stay home!

i love caravan holidays too!

Well she has two choices. Go with you or stay with grandparents. That’s it. Staying at home on her own is not an option

I wouldn’t want to go to Mablethorpe either!