Constant detentions for skirt length

[Falcon1]

My DD is 13. Since starting year 8 she’s had weekly detentions for rolling up her skirt and has been on report. She was also on report twice last year for the same thing. I keep getting emails from the school about it, but really - what can I do? This last detention we’ve said enough is enough and have grounded her but she is entirely unbothered. Her take is that she wants to wear her skirt the way she likes it and will keep doing so, and that the teachers should stop being so obsessed with her legs being on display. I kind of agree to be honest, particularly as she is doing fine academically. But I worry she’s going to be in detention her whole school career and it’s making her hate the school.

any advice most gratefully received!

Oooo I'm sooo scared.

Go ahead and report if you truly believe it is not allowed on mumsnet to call out disturbing posts from men fetishising young girls.

Frankly, I hope all of your posts stay up.

@ByGreyWriter I think they are oblivious to how older men think. Men upwards of 40 gawping at a schoolgirl is just pathetic. Maybe they just don’t care & find them a bit sad. Sadly it’s an ongoing issue of men having inappropriate thoughts about young girls & however much older women say it’s the men we need to deal with, we can’t police their thoughts. There’s always been porn films where stars dress in school uniform & so it’s clearly a ‘thing’ that men like. Pretty sure it’s not just school age boys who are watching it. As a parent I wouldn’t want older men perving at my teen daughter. Clearly people on here think it’s liberating & girls should do what they like. At least if they’re breaking a school rule about skirt length then they’re not rebelling in any other way.

OP I think you should show (or maybe tell) your daughter the thread you started about the issue. Unfortunately naive 12/13y olds dont yet know about weird older men with schoolgirl fetishes and I suspect when they do the issue of rolled up skirts goes away ... I've always assumed this is why they generally stop doing is once they get older and further up the school.

It actually makes me feel physically sick that there are men around like this that think that a 12, 13, 14 year old child is rolling their skirt up to 'provoke them'.

@XiCi it’s horrible & this is a man who has come onto a predominantly female message board. Imagine what is said on private male forums. I don’t think for a minute girls in KS3 are rolling their skirts up for the benefit of older men & are hopefully unaware of the type of things men think about.

ALL 12 year old girls are oblivious to creeps looking at their arse. Most 13 and 14 year old girls are too. Fuck off.

The thing is that even for jobs without a uniform there’s still going to be a dress code of some kind. Thinking of how short some of the skirts we are talking about are, can you imagine rocking up to an office like that?

I am currently at a very casual job where some people come to the office in hoodies and jeans. Even then it someone came with their arse hanging out or underwear on show when ascending stairs it would be so inappropriate and not acceptable.

I don’t think it needs to be about controlling her body - just teaching there’s a time and a place. She can go out to parties in a short skirt if that’s what you’re happy with but wearing it to school is not appropriate.

Then there’s the fact some jobs do actually have uniforms. As a PP said, can you imagine a nurse trying to roll their skirt shorter?

I don’t think it’s a concern or anything - I was rolling my skirt up 20 years ago and it’s normal teenage stuff - but I think it’s disingenuous to imply that this is a silly school rule that has no relevance to adult life.

Take her phone away.

Support the school or be prepared for more trouble later on. She sounds entitled to me. My daughter did the same and when she got a detention I made it very clear it was up to her to get the public bus from school to home and walk back from town to our house. If she got in trouble then she was responsible for getting herself home.

I'm certainly not always on the school's side but this is a no brainer to me.

And don't pretend that you are not one of 'those kids of guys' you profess to hate. We all see you.

Sheer utter rubbish. Yet another parent that refuses to accept any responsibility for their offspring. If your child was being bullied would you just ignore it and let the school deal with it ? If your child was mugging old ladies would your response be the police are dealing with it so not my problem ?
No wonder some of our young folk are bloody awful when this is the attitude of parents.

How is a girl rolling her own skirt up against school regulations anything like her being bullied or mugging old ladies? Who exactly is the victim in the school uniform scenario?

I was once a schoolgirl who rolled her skirt up but I can't remember rolling it quite so short as I have seen some of them do now, with their bum cheeks literally on show and I am slightly grossed out on public transport when they come in and sit down, especially on the hot days when there are wet marks left on seats afterwards... I wonder if some of the girls actually realise how short the skirts are from the back when they roll them up? I often want to tell them that I can see their bum but worried about coming across as weird or a pervert if I do that so obviously don't.

What a great example. You're right. Rolling your skirt to make it an inch or so shorter is just like a violent assault on an old lady. Today's skirt rollers are just tomorrow's serial killers. Totally has to be stamped out.

Sinister? Please do elaborate

It's upsetting to read that some people view young kids pushing boundaries and trying to be a bit "edgy" for their friends as an attempt to attract adult male attention. For most kids this age, adults are boring and that's the way it should be.

Not deluding myself at all, thanks. The black leather mini skirt I’m wearing today is probably a similar length to my DD’s shortened school skirt, just covering the bum. When I bought it or put it on today, the male gaze couldn’t be further from my mind. It’s quite sad to think there are still some people who think that women (or girls) dress for men. The vast majority of us don’t. We dress for ourselves and when younger and a little less secure, for our friends/the cool girls/ following trends etc.

Everything she is saying is true. All of your posts have been extremely creepy. Ew.

They shouldn't have to worry about how they come across. Because adults should bloody well leave them alone.

Its not just the sexual thing, it is also disrespectful to others to dress like this. I mean hopefully you wouldn't turn up to a job interview or to church dresssed like that

The reason for the rule about skirt length is that we do not want to see everything they have under their skirt