Constant detentions for skirt length

[Falcon1]

My DD is 13. Since starting year 8 she’s had weekly detentions for rolling up her skirt and has been on report. She was also on report twice last year for the same thing. I keep getting emails from the school about it, but really - what can I do? This last detention we’ve said enough is enough and have grounded her but she is entirely unbothered. Her take is that she wants to wear her skirt the way she likes it and will keep doing so, and that the teachers should stop being so obsessed with her legs being on display. I kind of agree to be honest, particularly as she is doing fine academically. But I worry she’s going to be in detention her whole school career and it’s making her hate the school.

any advice most gratefully received!

100% agree.

It's always been known as the awkward age - adolescent girls are incredibly vulnerable to their own silliness and ignorance coupled with hormones screaming GET ME PREGNANT.

Couldn't have put it better myself, though that's not something I'd say at school!

I didn't say it was, but there are rules which are unfair or discriminatory. Just one example is a Local Authority or GP surgery or something saying 'we don't make reasonable adjustments for x type of disability, it's our policy' - that would be discriminatory and does happen. Or a workplace deeming certain hairstyles such as afros as unprofessional attire and against their dress code. A lot of our law is based on people standing up to certain 'rules', so no, you don't have to always follow rules.

Yes this. If the school uniform standard was (excuse the language) the whore-short look your daughter currently aspires to, then she would want to be an Edwardian school ma’am.
It’s actually sort of pathetic.

I think it was seeing the teenager with apparently no skirt or pants from the back, from the front she did have a very short skirts and I hope she was wearing a thong but truly from the back she was walking down the street with a bare bottom.

Parents don't have to fight the school's battle on everything. Some things are best left to the school to sort out.

I'm surprised a school has tried dresses yet in a bid to stop the rolling.

Summer dresses always used to be part of school uniform. When did they stop?

Many years ago.

I was lunchtime lady at a girls school with male teachers
we had to explain to the girls that when sitting on top of their desks at break time / lunch time .. it can be a bit revealing and to be aware that male teachers will be walking in and seeing this too. This was a while back in time .. to be fair .. I’m not sure if male teachers are regular employees at schools these days but this was some thing we wanted to make the young girls aware of .. I enjoyed every minute there .. 18 months there. I only left because the staff were awful … they girls were great to be fair .. they were great fun and it helped me moved forward and get out after some tragedies in my life. ..

Yes. Male teachers are regular employees at schools nowadays.
However, it's not about them. They've been DBS checked and gone through Safeguarding and Child Protection training and updates each year.
It's really not about their male teachers.

Years ago in senior schools. I did my A levels in 1989 and dresses were only part of the junior and lower school uniform.

Just because a man has been through DBS doesn’t mean he should be subjected to the sight of the underwear of teenage girls in his workplace, surely? I mean, no one should!

That's not what I said. I was responding to a previous poster.

My school still had them in 2004 when I left...they were mentioned well into the 2010s. But not now.

Tbh from the other posts it seems like a bit of an occupational hazard. I imagine police officers in certain city centres have to deal with much worse. Use it as a reachable moment, fine, but I can't imagine teachers with a few years' experience indulging in excessive pearl-clutching.

It makes it particularly difficult for male teachers. They don't want to point out they can see things they shouldn't because they will be accused of looking. I've heard of schools which have had female teachers deal with girls uniform infractions for that reason, but that's unfair on the female teachers too.
One of many reasons I would try to deal with it from home if it was my kid wasting teachers' time like this.

If she wants to go to this school, she needs to accept their rules. I just don't think there's any more to it in this case. There's no exempting reason why she can't comply, such as sensory needs etc, she just doesn't want to - not ok.

Schools have uniform rules so that kids have something to rebel against.

Girls get upskirted and groped by boys in school. They get older men perving at them on their way to & from school. So yes in theory it’s the men we need to educate but it seems to be an ongoing issue. Girls who post on TikTok in uniform get a load of old pervs commenting. So schools are rightly trying to protect them from this. Why do they see showing their bum as liberating? Why are women on MN outraged at the fact that young girls need protecting? Yes men & boys shouldn’t behave this way but the fact is they do & surely it’s better not to give them what they want?

https://x.com/miss_snuffy/status/1796136201780412620?s=46

@thirdfiddle I agree it’s difficult for male staff members. I’m a middle aged female teacher & feel uncomfortable at times when I can see up a 13yo skirt. It’s pretty much impossible to avoid if you’re going upstairs.

I don’t understand why they want them so short to be honest.

Quoting is your friend. But if it was the post above yours, mine still stands.

Quoting is not "my friend".

She needs to obey the rules or change schools. And you shouldn't be encouraging her to break the rules.

OK - be prepared for your posts to be misunderstood then! Jeez, why not use a tool than MN have provided to make things easier?!

Why not just calm down. Really. It's not worth getting fraught over.

I’m not fraught, love!